Mermaid - keep doing what you are doing... Who is calling you the wicked stepmother? SD? Well, it sounds like it is because you are doing a good job!

I only have 2 suggestions for you...

1. If you are at the point where you are frustrated ALL THE TIME, then take a step back and try to have some "fun" time with your SD. Yeah, yeah, I'm not talking about spoiling her, or giving in. But I am talking about how we, as women handling a lot of shit, sometimes get into "work mode" or "crisis mode" and don't take the time for fun stuff. For both you and your SD's sakes and relationship, it probably would do you both a world of good to try to do something fun together.

and

2. Try "discipline light" and have your DH be the heavy. For the most part here, I am the disciplinarian and my husband travels for work. However, once in a while, I give myself a break. I let SD know how I feel about a subject, and then ask / tell my husband to REALLY SUPPORT me in this decision and be sure that SD gets a second talking to. I do it lightly, and my husband takes the more heavy approach with her on these times. It can give you a buffer. It also shows SD that yeah, you generally are the disciplinarian, but for the most part, you are speaking for both you and DH.

It's helped me. Hope it helps you too!

>>>>>>Ok here is the deal. I think that this is a pretty cool site and a few people have really helped me out. But after being on this site for a little while it is no wonder to me how the term evil step mother came around. I love my step daughter soooooo much. I ddont have any children of my own yet. my sd and i spend all our time together. my husband works full time and i go to school at night so during the day i am the one with her.
but here is the deal ladies. you need to understand you skids. you are an intruder in their lives. you have to remember that first he is their dad and second he is your husband. some of you women on here sound so evil and i pray for your skids. "I didnt sign up for kids to be around full time. if he gets full custody i'm out." who says that? That is just wrong. who would encourage someone to abondon their children?<<<<<<<

Lol, Are you getting it yet? Sorry to rub it in your face, but I sort of knew that behind that 'i'm the best sm' facade, there was something else lurking.

With that said, welcome to the stepworld many of us live in. Do not allow yourself to lose control or be controlled by your sd's actions. She will eventually grow out of it. This is actually a common theme among many S-talkers.

"I didnt sign up for kids to be around full time. if he gets full custody i'm out."

i say that............ i wouldn't want him to abandon his children, but i don't want them 24/7 either --- nobody would be happy....

i just deal with skids as one of those shitty facts of life and can't wait for them to turn 18 so child support and court ordered scheduled visitation will end... we'll still see them, but not so freakin' much!

Hey Mermaid,

I haven't had a chance to read all of your past blogs so I can't offer a lot of insight but I can say that I'm sorry you're feeling so fed up. 12 is a rough age, especially for girls. They're testing all kinds of boundaries and you must want to scream sometimes, I know I would.

Is your DH supportive of you?

I agree with stick's ideas, and it sounds like you really care a lot. Be sure to take some time just for you, too - you deserve it

"Lol, Are you getting it yet? Sorry to rub it in your face, but I sort of knew that behind that 'i'm the best sm' facade, there was something else lurking." :jawdrop:

Wow, really makes me feel like I can't vent and put everything out there like it is. Skids are very difficult at times and it doesn't help when BM is making it worse. I am glad that there are some great ladies here though that are supportive rather than making us feel terrible about our feelings at the moment or a moment of crisis. This site really is great, I have received a lot of wonderful advice sorry had to put my 2 cents