Help if you can
I have a issue with my ss11. He keeps telling me he does not want to come the 6 weeks this summer that his BD is suppose to have. I can understand his reasoning and little bit in me is saying yaa time to our self and I do not have to clean up after or entertain but mostly I feel for my husband and how hurt he will be if ss11 keeps pushing this. I am not sure what to do I keep explaining to ss11 how it will be fun we are getting bowling passes so we can bowl at least 2 or 3 times a week setting up a room for him one of his reasons is dogs we have two rat terriers that get up about 7 and when ss11 has to sleep on couch they jump on him. His BD is also letting him pick out something from the YMCA to do but he keep coming up with reasons. I do know BM is telling them to call BD by given name and her mom to from what he says this sounds like Bm and her Mom trying to get them to stay home ss17 for most part last summer stayed home. He now comes over here randomly we bought him a truck for 16 bd and he knows we will give him gas money. I just not sure if I talk to hubby we have a very good relationship just I get the oh your reading to much into this and so on so any ways any advice suggestions will be welcome ty.
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Yes I agree, I should of said
Yes I agree, I should of said for all of the kids we got the YMCA and bowling passes a lot cheaper and helps me get out of the house was trying to show that his bored is not from his Dad and us doing things with him. His BD and him are boned or it seems so to me he does not want to hurt his feelings its just a struggle for him to deal with the pressure of BM SD and his grandmother. I feel for him but I do not think it is my place to tell him how wrong they are but I am also not sure I want to talk to my hubby he can at times bury his head in the sand or think I am over reacting. if SS11 would not keep coming and talking to me this was about the 3rd time I would just wait and see. Ty for your input i do need it it sucks that people will play head games with the kids
Well, I don't see the things
Well, I don't see the things you're doing with SS as "bribing" him. All you're trying to do is make his visit as special as possible, and not just boring for him. Plus, you're addressing his issues with the dogs jumping on him by getting him his own room- that's totally cool as parents!
And, what his BM and grandmother are doing, by having them call their FATHER his given name, and not DAD, is a form of Parental Alientation- and it's WRONG! It obviously worked with the older son, who now doesn't want to be bothered with his Dad, and now they are working their emotional abuse on the younger son. This is CHILD ABUSE.
Do not let your SS call the shots on this. And your husband needs to understand how serious this is. If he just blows this off, he WILL indeed lose the relationship he has with his younger son. The BM AND grandmother are in the process af waging an incidious and ugly campaign of alienation with your son as the primary victim.
Don't let them do this. The results are devastating.