I've been here a little while and posted on a few topics but thought I should provide some sort of background since sometimes my situation sounds a little strange even to me.

I've been married to my DH for 8 years now and am the BM to DS who is 2.5 and due in about 9 weeks a little girl. For the most part our lives involving the skids is pretty much no existant. SS is 21 and SD is 15.

When DH and their BM divorced, she was having an affair with her now hubby (who actually is a decent guy) and she has just given birth to SD. SS saw her cheating and how she moved him into the family home while my DH was away working in another state for a month and decided at almost 7 he wanted to live with his DH so they split custody of the kids. There was always issues with visitation with SD - but SS always went to see his mom on her weekends and during the summer - she wasn't working. Fast forward a few years and I meet DH. SD starts coming all the time and we think things are going well until we get engaged. I think the fact that DH had moved on really thru BM over the edge along with the financial settlements that were in their divorce decree fell apart on her end. She never paid her bills thinking that DH would lose the family home which he kept and she would get the $$ from that. Well the 7 years past and he didn't and she got nothing. There was no CS because the kids were split 50/50. All of a sudden SD was always too busy to see or even talk to DH. BM was rude/ugly to me - but whatever. When SS turned 12, there was a huge campaign with BM and DH's mother (yep my MIL) to get him to go live with his mom. DH let him go in an effort to not hurt his son and then we almost never saw him either. This about killed DH.
Fast forward a few years and now SS is 21 and SD is 15.
Regarding SD - DH has been served with paperwork to terminate his rights so BM's hubby can adopt her since everyone in their small town thinks he's the daddy anyway and she doesn't want anyone to know that's not the the truth. DH went and talked to SD but it was basically all kinds of BM garbage and he's going to sign the paperwork.
SS is in college and of course we only really see him when he needs money. So now he's wanting DH to cosign a loan and provide him with tutiton money for next year. All this after BM has basically bought him everything he wants - a new car, new phone and I think he's spending a month this summer in Europe. I know I'm going to end up being the bad guy in all this because we're not going to be able to help. The kid doesn't really work - and spends all his $$$ on things he wants rather than things he needs.

Neither one of these kids wants for anything - BM provides it all and she would be thrilled is DH would just fall off the face of the earth but neither one of them understands personal responsibility either.
Since we never see them, we have pretty much zero dealings with BM which is nice but it also means that when DH gets upset about it - I'm the one who has to pick up all the pieces - like birthdays & father's day. Which of course ruins it for me and our DS because daddy is in a horrible mood all day.

Well I have to say I commend all of you who are living this journey on a daily basis. All of our paths are a different but our emotions are usually the same.