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SS chewed his father out and he did not say a word

winnie's picture

Submitted by winnie on Mon, 03/14/2011 - 8:06pm

After SS's mother became a evil bitch, SS has been very nice to me and super pissy with his dad. It is very strange and my husband is getting jealous and irritated at me. How is it my fault? SS has been very on edge since saturday and I guess its stress? Today, it just got crazy. My husband starts asking SS not to move out. This for a reason sends SS into a tizzy. Calling his own father a a**hole, horrible dad and other mean things. He keeps saying how my husband showed him how not to be a parent. And my husband just stood there, very upset. I was crying and just wishing I was not such a baby.

Then SS asks if my husband wants more money. That he has no problem paying it. He takes out a few fifty dollar bills and throws them at my husband. He just goes upstairs into his room where his daughter is sleeping and has not been down since. My husband was really upset and I tried to comfort him saying that his ex-wife's actions are probably affecting SS. I think it calmed my husband down a bit. I felt sad and frustrated. I wish my husband would just stand up and not put up with SS's disrespectfulness. But I think my husband is just scared SS will move out faster. I guess on the positive note SS has been nice to me and saying hi when he gets home, which never happens. He also laughed while I was watching America's Funniest Home videos with him. But the way he treated my husband just makes me angry. I wish my husband would grow a spine!!!

Comments

VioletsareBlue's picture

Submitted by VioletsareBlue on Mon, 03/14/2011 - 8:26pm

What an awful situation. From reading your other posts, I think you are right on that SS is taking out his anger for his BM on his father because his father is his father. I'm so sorry. I agree your DH should stand up to him ... it's hard when you think you might lose your kid by speaking up and he probably has a lot of guilt because of the way BM is treating his son.

12yrstepmonster's picture

Submitted by 12yrstepmonster on Mon, 03/14/2011 - 9:01pm

your dh could lay low for a while, let you develop a relationship with SS and possibly do the smoothing things over move.

And while it doesn't help now, it is my understanding that people strike out at the people they are most comfortable with- the ones that will stay around and be there.

So maybe he wast testing DH to see if he would make him move....the fact that he didn't rise to the occasion then might have been a good thing!

winnie's picture

Submitted by winnie on Mon, 03/14/2011 - 9:21pm

I think you are right about SS striking out at my husband because he is comfortable with him. Its not a very good reason though. My husband is getting very jealous that SS is treating me nicer. I do not know if I can handle him feeling this way.

stepmasochist's picture

Submitted by stepmasochist on Mon, 03/14/2011 - 9:05pm

I just caught up on your blogs. Wow, what a whirlwind year you've had. Your DH really needs to talk to SS if he can. I read about their relationship in the past and the resentment that SS has. If DH has any documentation he can show, CPS reports or court documents that could prove that he did in fact care about him and that he has always wanted to help keep him safe. I don't know what your DH can do to mend the relationship, but he's got to try.

I agree that the kid has good reason to be angry with what all is going on with his mom right now. I'm not sure it's entirely displaced. I mean - here he is a 17 year old raising a 1 year old himself and yet he's thinking that his dad couldn't/wouldn't get him out of a horrible situation when he was growing up. I don't know how your DH can make him see that he was as powerless in the situation as SS was but he should really try. And what an outstanding young man - despite BM's crappy parenting! You are so fortunate to (hopefully) be given a second chance with him.

winnie's picture

Submitted by winnie on Mon, 03/14/2011 - 9:25pm

It has been a crazy year. My husband has tried many many times to talk to SS. SS knows what happened. His mother was a crazy bitch back then too. But he just cannot forgive his father for not saving him. And SS has truly stepped up. He works like crazy in school and work to make a better life for his daughter. I know its selfish but I almost wish he was not doing so well. Then he would have more incentive to stay. Of course, this is just a evil thought of mine. It doesnt meant I want it to be true!

Eyes Wide Open's picture

Submitted by Eyes Wide Open on Tue, 03/15/2011 - 12:36pm

I agree that he's lashing out at DH because he CAN. SS26 is downright evil (I swear he's bi-polar) to DH sometimes. Calls him things I can't even believe. DH just takes it. I really think SS is angry with his mother, but takes it out on DH because DH is there and she isn't. Actually, I think SS needs intensive therapy, but that's a whole 'nother story! SD24 doesn't so much last out at DH, but she does stuff to let him know that she's "in control" of him. In reality, both kids are just hurting themselves and making themselves look like total fools.

However, I am disengaged (yeah!) so I just sit back and watch 'cause I've got front row seats to this train wreck!