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jermadmai's picture

Submitted by jermadmai on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 9:28pm

I love staying home w/our kids, but I can't get my husband to understand that I need to have a break. Summers are busy, we have baseball, dance, camps and a whole lot of driving. My husband is helping coaching baseball and I know he loves it, but I'm stuck at home w/2 babies from 7am til 9pm monday thru friday, all day saturday, then sunday it seems like he needs the break from working all the time. I have 4 Bkids, 2 Skids and we have 2 together. My Skids are here every other week, they are all pretty good kids, but I'm getting stressed and tired. I've talked to him about it and he doesnt seem to understand. He always says, "Well this is what we signed up to do", and "OH, and I never work". He hasent seen our 2 together for 3 days, I just wished he didnt have to do it, if I had an activity for 5 afternoons a week he'd freak out! I'm really a laid back person, but I'm starting to get really mad and its really affecting our marriage.

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Tx mommy of 3's picture

Submitted by Tx mommy of 3 on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 8:16am

>>>I've talked to him about it and he doesnt seem to understand. He always says, "Well this is what we signed up to do"<<<

"dh, if this is what WE signed up to do, then why am I doing all the work?" You definately have to make time for yourself. On weekends I sometimes tell dh that he is watching the kids while I get my hair done, et a pedicure, have dinner with a friend, or whatever. I give him notice so he doesn't make plans then I leave on he day guilt free. The kids are with their father. And in your case, stepfather...it IS what he signed up for, right? Wink

What also helps is if dh has a hobby or if he likes to go out now & then. I understand my dh needs down time too. (I stay home with my 3 kids). When dh started going to a friend's to watch 'the game' after I'd been home with kids all week, I put my foot down. I 'allow' him to do his things as long as he allows me to have a break and do my thing as well. Does dh enjoy spending a full day with a 1, 4, 6 year old? Add in ss13 wen e visits and dh has a headache! But oh well! Put your foot down and ask for equality. If HE 'signed up for this' then he should be helping too.

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 3:29pm

Everyone needs time away or they will go crazy. DH can do it, but maybe not the way you would. You need to accept as long as the kids are alive and relatively well, it can be cleaned up later.