Borrowing money from SS
This is very embarrassing to talk about. We are having major money issues. My husband's health bills are getting too much to handle. And our insurance is a bastard. We even spent the 5000 bucks SS left behind when he moved out. We had put that in an account for our granddaughter but we had no choice but to use it. We have exhausted every resource. All of our friends are struggling too. My husband's employer just cut hours for everyone so we are short by about 200 dollars every month.
We really do not want to do this but my husband is thinking about SS for some money, that we will pay back as soon as my husband can get a second job. My husband hates that he has to ask money from SS who already supports himself and his baby, pays for college costs and rent. We know he is making good money but still.
My husband is humiliated. He has worked his entire life. He has never had to ask for money. And he told me Sunday that he is afraid SS will say no. And that would break his heart. He thinks by asking money he will be like BM. I told him to SS the benefit of the doubt. I have been working as much as my health will let me. We really need the money. Is borrowing from SS a bad idea?
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Comments
Yes, it's a bad idea.
Yes, it's a bad idea.
If you DH is looking for a
If you DH is looking for a 2nd job maybe he could deliver pizzas or find something quick like that so you wouldn't have to ask.
I wouldn't borrow from a step
I wouldn't borrow from a step son or a kid there has to be someone else or some other way. Borrowing in families is never a good idea, causes resentments and makes Thanksgiving dinner taste different (thanks Dave Ramsey) but its worse when you borrow from a child or younger member of the family.
I wouldn't do it. Bad
I wouldn't do it. Bad idea...The relationship is not steady and this could break the progress you have made. Cut back all expenses and look at other sources of income, EBAY, Craigslist...whatever...
It's a bad idea.
It's a bad idea.
I guess it really depends on
I guess it really depends on the relationship you guys have with SS and what kind of person SS is. The fact that your DH is worried about it, both to be turned down, and to look like BM, tells me that it is probably not a good idea. I can see it work in some cases, if there is a solid, respectful, trusting relationship and a parent could confidently ask to borrow and really believe they can pay it back within a reasonable time, and if the son/daughter don't see it as a big deal and are as confident about it. So I would not say no as a rule, but I think it takes a special kind of relationship. The apprehension in your case seems to indicate this might get tricky, even if SS has no problem, it may be too much for your DH ( and you) emotionally.
Good luck, though. Times are rough and if it comes down to having to, try and keep your heads up high, because that is what family should be about, too.
It probably is a bad idea.
It probably is a bad idea. The financial difficulties stem for a health issue and related bills. That kind of money can't be made up by cutting down on household bills and meals. My family lives without all the above, no Tv, no cable, no fancy anything, sweaters indoors in the winter, always home cooked meals, and the savings would not cover serious medical bills. Besides, they may already have implemented those changes. It may be a bad idea, yet it may end up being necessary, in which case I would try and lay it out as a business like plan.
Ok lets say they have cut
Ok lets say they have cut everything to the bear bone, how are they going to pay this money back to SS if finances are that tight, Don't you think that not paying SS back or paying slow won't put additional strain on an already strained relationship? They need to look elsewhere for help. Heck they might have to call the doctor and get generics or make payment arrangements or something. They can not expect their ss who has a young daughter to support them and the fact they are unable to pay the money back this is exactly what they are asking, Hope SS says HECK NO!!!!
No, I agree that it's not a
No, I agree that it's not a good idea, particularly after some reference to a problematic relationship. I think that telling them to cut back utility and food wise, though, is almost offensive. It's hard to make a call on someone else's financial problems. I just wanted to put out there, that if they HAVE to, to try and make the best of it. Borrowing money is difficult, and if there is another way, I would definitely go the different route.
This is different cuz you did
This is different cuz you did it to help a parent that had a health condition and you gifted it you did not arrange a loan, Very Generous and loving on your part. The OP needs to find someone else to borrow from, according to the past the relationship isn't strong to begin with and how are they going to pay it back if money is that tight? Probably won't or will be very slow in paying it back which will cause further damage to the relationship. She needs to Ebay stuff, her husband needs a part time job, and they need to cut out any unnecessary expenses, its what my husband and I did to afford our bills.
We are living with the bare
We are living with the bare minimum. I had to sell all my jewellery. I only have my wedding ring left. And it is not worth much. It was my husband's mother's ring. I am not selling it. We need some money just to tide us over a few weeks. We have some bills coming up we need to pay. We will pay him back. My husband's company will be giving hours back soon (in a few months). That combined with a second job will allow us to pay him back. We have no where else to go. Believe me, we do not want to do this.
I feel bad for you, I really
I feel bad for you, I really do, but I would not ask your SS to loan money to you esp. considering your relationship is not that stable to begin with, I'd do whatever I could to not borrow from him, anyone else you can ask? Someone who would understand that it might take a while until your husband gets his hours back? No sense borrowing money and then paying it back to have to borrow it again a day or two later. Sounds like you guys have way too many bills if you burned through the 5 grand (I think you said thats what he left) and had to sell your jewelry over a 200 dollar a month pay cut. thats 50 a week i'm sure you could save 50 a week or close to it if you really get creative.eat left overs, shop at aldis cut coupons. Fancy cell phones? The internet plan your using to post here? Cable bill? or is it all medical? If its all medical I'd talk to your doctor and make payment arrangements if its the doctors bills and if its the prescriptions see if the doctor can give samples to help stretch your dollars and/or switch to a lower cost drug thats just as effective, thats what we did. Doctor had my husband on 4 prescriptions that were 40 a piece with insurance. We got them knocked down to $10 a piece by letting the doctor know we just couldn't afford the ones he originally prescribed. Doctors prescribe a lot of stuff due to loyalty to the sales men. Don't necessary make it the right drug or the cheapest and there could be other alternatives. You need to brain storm to get this solved without relying on your ss who is being responsible and supporting his child as a single parent.
You have a teenage stepson
You have a teenage stepson with a child, supporting both of them on his own. Your DH has screwed this kid over time and time again. He didn't go to his graduation, he "offered" to give him some money for school IF and only IF SS did what DH wanted him to do.
WRONG.
You're lucky this kid is even speaking to you. Man, he sure got the short end of the parenting stick!
DO NOT ask him for money. Do whatever ELSE you need to do. Forget that SS has a job. He has his own responsibilities to look after. You and DH are grownups, figure it out.
Ah, yes. This is the SS with
Ah, yes. This is the SS with the psycho BM who called CSP on him, right?
This SS took his kid and disappeared for awhile trying to hide from the drama, and left a bunch of $$ for "rent" with OP and DH, right?
Hard to keep it all straight. :?
OP, I still believe you should NOT do this. SS has more than enough on his plate without having to worry about taking care of his dad and you, too.
I think I'd rather owe the
I think I'd rather owe the medical bills and make arrangements with the providers to pay a little every month. I wouldn't ask for a loan from the SS. Besides, many hospitals write things off if people truly can't afford to pay. It sounds like insurance has already paid some of the expenses. Maybe talk with the billing departments will help. Hope things start going better for you two.