Unbelievable!
So mad it could spit! After 16 years of supporting my bios on my own, I finally decided to file for child support. I have always worked full time and made enough to support my kids. My ex has NEVER helped financially with them. I applied for support through the local CSS office. We have no custody arrangement. My ex doesn’t work and if he does, it’s under the table. Long story short, I received my judgment in the mail and my ex has to pay a whopping $115 a month TOTAL in child support. I am dumbfounded. His I&E says that he makes less than $600 a month. I was told multiple people at CSS that if he was under employed they would impute an income at full time min. wage. This makes no sense to me. After all these years, I guess the jokes on me. :O
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If the order was $315 or even
If the order was $315 or even $215 (which is nothing for 2 teenagers) I wouldn't have a problem, but $115? It's like a slap in the face. Not like I ever expect to see any money from him, it's just the principal.
I saw what my husband went through in court with his ex and I have a lot of friends that are Dads that get screwed with CS. It just seems like the parent who does the right thing always gets the short end of the stick.
I get it, its the same reason
I get it, its the same reason I haven't bothered to take my XH to court. For me, the cost of taking him to court isn't worth the small amount of money, the constant whining from XH about how good I have it and how bad he has it, he would likely lose his house since he is a financial disaster by his own doing which would hurt my kids more than the money I yank from his sorry ass.
I get it 110%.
I just don't get how the XH is ok with choosing not to support children he brought into the world - way to be a man - loser.
At least you are getting
At least you are getting something. . .my ex has filed for and is receiving SSI. I have been told by various government agencies that I'm not entitled to anything. His disablity . . .too fat to work. No joke!
Sounds just like my DH'S
Sounds just like my DH'S ex......We get SSI for sd12) because BM "disabilty" same as you ex "too fat to work disability". We tried to also file through the state and they make you jump through hopes...very crazy....I say CS is CS ALL non-custodial parents should have to do something....
If your Ex is receiving SSI,
If your Ex is receiving SSI, your children should also receive a disability benefit. Mine did when their father was disabled. If you go on the website, it will tell you the percentage each child should receive based on the income used to compute your ex's SSI.
It does come directly from
It does come directly from the Soc Sec Admin. My children each had to have a bank account set up in their names/my name. Every month on the same day their dad would get his SSI, they would get theirs direct deposit.
YogaChick - THIS is why I
YogaChick - THIS is why I haven't filed for CS from my XH. I continue to be disappointed each and every time he demands the kids need this or that because he pays nothing and contributes nothing financially to my children. He sees them 10 days a month. Although he is a decent parent, he is entitled through the ying yang and feels just because I work full time and can make ends meet - he shouldn't have to contribute financially to the 2 kids he brought into this world. He has the, well you can afford it attitude.
This is why I divorced him, what was his was his, and what is mine is his - this never changed with divorce. I don't even ask him to contribute for anything anymore, its not worth the stress and anger to me.
I have done the CS calculators - like once every couple months when I get angry - and by law he would be ordered to pay about $150 - this isn't worth the court fees and stress for me to collect. I have multiple times asked him to open a bank account for each of the girls in lieu of CS putting $20 each in monthly - he has not done it, never will.
He is an entitled loser and your experience is what I would expect if I took him to court. I hate that he is so entitled that he feels its perfectly fine to get his kids for free and not bat an eye.
Insult to injury when he knocked up his GF and now has a baby and is always telling the girls, I have not money because of the baby.....
I will still create that
I will still create that connection to XH and the emails about how I have it so good and am stealing money from him will start. How he can't make ends meet and I live in a nice house with my husband. My XH is the king of email\text\phone blame.
When I left him, I went through months and months about how he was so hard up because he didn't have my paycheck to spend anymore. Despite me paying $900 a month in Alimony for over a year AND paying daycare\medical\everything for my 2 daughters so he could finish school.
He almost broke me with the stress it was causing me. A penny isn't worth it from him - even if its for my kids, I am the one that has to collect it and deal with the constant verbal abuse from XH. Its not worth it for me in any way.
I support my girls 100% financially other than the food they eat when with XH 10 days a month. My girls are aware of this to some degree and I hope its not all for not and teaches them how to be strong and self supporting.
The last time I asked my XH to contribute was for BD12's braces. I paid the $1200 deposit. I asked him to pay for 50% of the remaining 2000. He agreed. He gave the dentist his credit card. He made 1 $150 payment. The next month the dentist called me saying the Card was declined. I passed the msg on to XH - he was like, oh yeah, I maxed that card out, can you cover it and I will pay you back ... that was the last I heard of it - I tried to get him to pay and it was a fight a constant fight - and frankly that takes more out of me than any $1800 out of pocket does.
I guess in a way I am paying to keep XH as far out of my life as possible by not collecting. If I collect, as OP says, it would be for principle more than anything.
Its sort of like you can't
Its sort of like you can't bitch if you don't vote.
But, I can't help but shake my head on a weekly basis how he justifies purchases for himself over choosing to contribute to his children. It just amazes me and has amazed me for years. I know people rarely change - but I can't help but still be amazed how he can put himself first over and over and over.
He promised BD12 an ipod touch for her last b-day. To the point even BD7 was making a schedule to borrow it from BD12 - so it was well known she was getting one. I thought it was a little much but meh - not my say if he was going to do that.
He got her nothing, not even a card. Told her was 'a little short on cash' that week because the new baby was born the week before. Then less than 2 weeks later, he got himself a brand new shiny iPhone which was basically her ipod Touch with phone call ability because 'he didn't like the blackberry he got 6 months back'.
I dislike XH, a lot.
For a long time he was a drug
For a long time he was a drug addict / alcoholic and my children were not safe around him. I was afraid that if I filed for CS, he would file for some sort of custody and even if it were EOW I didn’t feel my kids were safe. I had experience in my family where my cousin had kids with a person that had substance abuse problems. He would have to hand his kids over all the time even when he knew things were bad because there was a court order. I was 18 when I had my first son and 20 when I had my second. Call it young and dumb or whatever. I pulled up my big girl panties and supported my 2 kids all on my own. Now that I’m older I realize what a disservice I did to myself and to them. Better late than never I guess.
My husband has custody of his
My husband has custody of his daughter. He paid for everything for his daughter and the mother never did shit for her. Before he got (legal, on paperwork) custody of his daughter he was paying BM $500.00 a month for one child and barelly having enough to live on after that. Then of course when he got legal custody he lost his job and she was getting money "under" the table and he only gets $199.00 a month from her. Even though she has not paid one penny towards the amount since the order went through he gets told he is a jerk when he mentions to her that she needs to start helping take care of their daughter. The ones that abuse the support and use it for themselves get all the luck and the ones that need it because they truelly need a little help with taking care of a child dont get shit.
OMG......ALL these stories
OMG......ALL these stories sound like mine.....Stepmama2one...sounds just like my DH. When we got custody we stopped paying child support. Then BM had the nerve to file about 4 motions for back support and was even looking for more money well we had custody of her kid.....so in a way she was looking to take money out of her kids pocket...nice...
WHAT?! Now thats definatly
WHAT?! Now thats definatly money hungry.
CS isn't about need. I didn't
CS isn't about need.
I didn't NEED CS to take of my son.
He would have had the same life style with or without it. It was about doing the right thing. If a man or woman helps to make a child, they should help support that child.
I wonder how many of these loser moms and dads are remarried or have had more kids. I will never understand how people can stand to date or marry someone who refuses to take care of their kids. And then to have kids with the dead beat. YUCK
I never paid one cent to apply for CS or have the order reviewed. We never used a lawyer. Once I moved back to NYC (the case was in NC) the courts would mail me the review forms. I filled them out with all of my income info and mailed them back. Son's dad did the same and he went to court on the assigned date. Two weeks later the state would mail me a letter with the increase or decrease. We went through that simple,quick and free process every 3 years.
OMG, you've modified CS every
OMG, you've modified CS every three years?!?
That would make me batshit crazy.
I wasn't making the request,
I wasn't making the request, it was a state rule.
The "child support" my DH
The "child support" my DH pays should be called down payment on new house. That ass saved every penny of CS, neglected the kids, and is actively looking for a new home. I can't even stand to look at her.
Oh you got a ton of money.
Oh you got a ton of money. My wife's first judgement against the SpermIdiot was for CS of $110/mo.
SS was 1yo at the time.
Nearly a year later he tried for custody and his CS was raised to $130/mo. Woopty frickin doooo! SS was still only 1yo but near his 2nd b-day.
9yrs later I bugged the crap out of my wife enough for her to finally nail his ass to the wall and it was raised to $780/mo. That was after he had spawned three more out of wedlock children with two more baby mamas.
He contested and it was lowered to $385/mo. The fun part was the arrearages that the judge ordered due to his running from the process servers which is what resulted in the $780/mo judgement to begin with. His arrearages were for nearly $7K and he was stuck paying them for more than 2yrs.
The key is not to give up. Keep his ass on the hook. File every two years and drive his CS obligation up as much as possible. It is not really about how much you make or whether you need the money or not. It is about the father of your children actively supporting them.
If he refuses to pay then you keep going after increases and accrual of arrearages with penalties and interest.
My Skid's SpermIdiot would have been on the hook for CS paid directly to SS for 4 more years if SS had decided to go to college instead of enlist in the USAF. He is in school now though and could nail his worthless POS SpermIdiot to the wall for SS even though he is full time USAF. But, the SpermClan has him guilted in to not holding his SpermIdiots feet to the CS fire.
Too bad. I would have that worthless POS and the entire SpermClan roasting over the CS fire for very dime I was awarded in the CO if I was the kid. I might save it and make it available to the younger three also out-of-wedlock SpermIdiot spawn for college but I would for damned sure fry the adult members of the SpermClan financially for as much and as long I could could.
But, I guess his mom and I raised him to be more compassionate than I am.
This is about control and keeping leverage on your X so you can protect the best interests of your children.
IMHO of course.