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Really need to learn how to grin and bear it....

maree80's picture

Again my pained expression and tone of voice gets me in trouble....

I have issues with my feelings towards ss8.....who is with us 50/50.

For the last 10 days of him being at his Mums, (she has him for 2 weeks, then we have him for 2 weeks) she has been dropping him off a few times to me before school so I can take him to school as her work roster has changed and she now starts earlier! DH did ask me before this started if I'd mind taking him and of course I said "yeah that's fine".... But in reality, I hate doing it!! I love being able to take my time getting ready for work when he's not here....plus I look forward to not having to see or listen to him when he's with her for her 2 weeks, but now I have to see him almost everyday!!!!

Couldn't hide my frustration tonight when DH was talking to ss8, at the end of the phone call ex-w must have wanted to confirm it was ok for me to take ss8 in the morning because DH said "yeah that's fine", so as soon as he got of the phone I said "so I'm taking ss8 to school again tomorrow" and he said "I thought you didn't mind"......of course now he feels like everytime he talks to or about his son all I am is negative!! God I just wish I could feel something for this kid and not let this shit worry me!!! I hate that I can't stand to be around him! I love my husband, but it's so hard to even like his son!!!

Comments

TASHA1983's picture

I feel the exact same way about my Fiance's S10. I dont ever want to be around him. My Fiance is totally understanding and doesnt expect or want me to do anything for his son ever because he knows that his kid is his problem/responsibility. I couldnt agree more!!! I have my own S8 that I need to take care of etc. His kid has a mother and a father and that kid is THEIR PROBLEM!!! PERIOD!!

You are fortunate and you have the luxury of not having to like, love, care for, etc for this kid. You have a choice as to whether or not you want to bring him to school, cook for him, etc. If your DH makes you feel ANYTHING LESS than that then he is an insensitive ass. That kid has two parents....if you werent in the pic they would have no choice but to deal with this one way or another sooooo....they need to do just that!!! Deal with it amongst themselves...you married him to be his WIFE not his kids babysitter, chauffeur, etc.

Willow2010's picture

I think I would tell DH that it is making you run behind in the mornings so they (the kids parents) need to find a different way to get the kid to school.

Sweetnothings's picture

Perhaps it's time for YOUR work to require you coming in a little earlier too, no one could argue with that, and new arrangements would have to be made. No one could argue your work and schedule are less important, could they ??

TASHA1983's picture

I completely agree with you!!! I went into dating my BF with an open mind for the most part. Before my BF I dated a man with a daughter and it was awful, I hated it and swore I would never date a man with kids again! I met this man, and he is amazing, his only downfall, kids (only one in the pic)!!! Ugh!

I went into it and tried my best. Spent time with his kid and all of us together etc. but being around him and how he is just made me dislike him and make me NOT want to be around him EVER.

I was open and honest with my BF about how I felt and that I didnt want to be around his kid and I dont want ANYTHING to do with him either. Thankfully, he understood and respected my feelings. And he is completely ok with it! Of course he is sad that he doesnt get to see me or spend time with me when he has his S10 EOWE but he understands my feelings and it all works out great!!!

It is VERY important to be honest with the man/woman that you plan to be with and possibly marry! I may not tell him the UNRATED version of how I feel about/towards his kid BUT he does know how I feel and he understands and respects it.

I think alot of things would be alot better for alot of SM/SD if they were just open and honest about their feelings for their partners kids. At least if they know how you feel you dont have to hold it in and let guilt etc get the better of you AND you/they can decide if being together is actually worth it and going to work out. Just my opinion on it Smile

maree80's picture

I was niave to think that when we got married, I would feel differently about his son....after almost 2 years I still feel the same, sometimes I think I might even feel worse about him!!! I'm really not a bad person, but everything this kids does irritates me!! The way he talks, walks, eats, smells....I just wish I could get over this but don't know how!!! My DH is good to my DD's14 (twins) who live with us full time, but I just can't seem to even find one thing that doesnt annoy me about ss8.

If I could change my work I would, but I run my own business so DH knows that my boss wouldn't ask me to come in early!!

I think I might need a psychiatrist!!