To me, it's any parent who is unmarried and actually parents their child; dead beats who run off and never see their kids don't count.

BM here does that also. Same thing, on FB. Almost every post is about how she does it all alone with no help from anyone and how hard it is to be a single mom. WE have those kids Fri 8 am til Mon 4 pm EVERY week. She doesnt do diddly, because even on Tues and Wed SO has to pick them up from school and taxi them to her. That only leaves her having to feed them 4 evenings a week during the school year. They are all old enough to bathe themselves and such. But to hear her on FB she has it sooooo hard and all the replies she gets are how she is so "strong" and "such a good mother" and "giving" and "sacrificing" :sick:
So I refer to her as a Part time mother. Not a single mother.

A single parent is someone who does not get a break! I know I was one for 9yrs! This is a huge pet peeve of mine. Your not a single parent if the other parent takes the child/children on a regular basis. Ugggggghhhhh! If you get a break like above post your a part time parent. B*tches please don't whine on your FB about how its so hard to have your kids in for 3 whole days a week. Talk to me once you have them for 6 mths without a break. Maybe then you could talk about it. I still won't feel sorry for because I had 2 and 1 was autistic!
Sorry for my vent like I said its my biggest pet peeve!

Agree imaSmom I would consider you single. I'm still envious of you eow break and your sometimes 200 dollors I would have been so happy for either one of those back in the days before I got married. Just to tell you how much inever went out I meet my DH on a online dating site lol

By my definition, a single parent is a parent with either custody or visitation of their child or children who is not married, remarried, and does not live in a committed spousal relationship with another adult.

For example: If you and your boyfriend live together and have a baby together, you are NOT a single parent. If he moves out, and you split custody, or you retain custody and he gets visitation, and you each live independantly in your own residence, you are THEN a single parent.

A single parent ceases to be a single parent when they enter into a relationship with another adult that takes part of the burden of being a parent, whether that burden is financial or physical, or both.

For example, DH was a single parent. He lived in his own apartment. He had a live in Manny for his kids who he paid cash and provided room and board to in exchange for caring for the children while DH worked. This person was DH's employee, so DH was still a single parent.

On the day DH moved into my home, he was no longer a single parent. BM1 lives with her shack up barely legal stud of the week. She is not a single parent. BM2 is moving out of state to marry a military guy she met in August of this year. She's got to hurry and seal the deal before the crazy comes shining on through. The moment she steps off the plane and into his house, she is not a single parent. BM3 has 50/50 custody of SD5. She is a single parent whether SD is with her or DH. She is a single parent with a pretty amazing support network, but at the end of the day, she goes home alone to a residence that she is completely responsible to pay for and keep up alone.

I am one of those jerks who has NO sympathy for single parents simply because they are single parents. I have sympathy for widows. I have sympathy for orphans. Other than that, I have little sympathy. Being a single parent is like being overweight. Most people who are overweight claim that they are overweight because they have a thyroid problem or cite some other issue. The fact is that metabolic issues account for less than 4% of obesity in America. The fact is, most of us are chubby because we intake more calories than we burn. It's a choice. Most (and note that I said MOST...meaning this doesn't necessarily apply to you) single parents claim that they are single because "he was abusive", "I accidentally got pregnant", "He abandoned us", "He cheated", and the list goes on and on. But the truth is, most of the single parents I know are single for one of two reasons. They either chose poorly or failed to treat kindly. I know at least a dozen single moms that either got pregnant on purpose to try and seal the deal, or hooked into someone who was bad news from the beginning and thought having a baby would change that. You can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear, no matter what great intentions you have.

DH was single because he chose poorly. BM1 was an alcoholic. He had left her when she got pregnant with SS14. Whose fault is that? DH. He continued sleeping with her. Now SS14 has to endure having a douchenozzle for a mother. Same story with BM2. She was a sack of shit when he met her and started sleeping with her, and she's a sack of shit now. The one that suffers is SD10. BM3 is an excellent mother and a terrible wife. Had he dated her for any length of time, he would have know that. We all warned him. Her family warned him. He thought he could change her. Nope. Again, his poor judgement is the reason SD5 is from a broken home. Can you imagine a 5 year old living week on/week off between 2 houses? She is the ONLY child out of her 7 siblings that has such an arrangements. DH should have his ass kicked up between his shoulders for procreating with ANY of these women.

While I would agree that in some cases, a single parent really got the rough end of the stick, in MOST cases it is a person's choice to be a single parent.

Even though DH and I are married, I still consider myself a single parent to my two bios. I am the ONLY one who parents them. He does not, and I do not want him to. Their Bio Dad is out of the picture (pays child support, that is it).

When I was with my ex-fiance (also not their bio dad), I didn't really consider myself one because he was just a like a father to them. We parented them together. It was maybe easier as he had no children of his own. The final decisions in parenting were always mine though.

So that's what I think. If both parents are an active part in the child's life, and both of them parent, especially if the time split is nearly equal, I don't really see them as single parents.

I am a widow so I am truly a single parent. I can't complain I have a deadbeat EX. I can't complain no one helps with my kids emotionally or physically.

Anyone that has an EX that never ever ever sees the kids or helps financially is also a single parent.

Last year BM’s facebook post was something like this…”Guy tried to screw me over when I got my oil changed!!! Why would people do that to a single mom?!” Or something along those lines.
At this time, SS had not lived with her for three years, was 18 and in the military!!! LOL…But she did get the sympathy she craved.

A single parent is a parent who lives alone with his/her kid(s).

Receiving CS and getting breaks, does not mean mom or dad isn't a single parent.

DF pays CS. He has his kids EOWE and the month of July. BM has not remarried and doesn't live with her BF. She is a single mom.

I am in the minority it would appear.

My belief is that a parent is deemed a "single parent" when there is no other parent- be it due to death, rape or even electing to adopt or conceive a child through non traditional means- to share in the upbringing of a child.

If the child has a CP and NCP: neither are "single" as there are "two" parents in this childs life. No matter how sporatically. They may be divorced parents, never married parents, can't stand the sight of each other parents - but there are still two parental units, not a singular parent.

Then add a step parent <--- please notice that last word. So if one of the original parents gets married now the kid has more parents. We are up to three... so, how can one parent be a "single" parent if there is a trio of people walking around with the parent title to said child.

Yes, I do understand some NCP's do not assist in child rearing, others assist barely at all, and the majority seem to be too busy making sure the little darling doesn't get it's feelings hurt to actually "parent" the child.

In my eyes true single parents are:

The victim of rape who chose to keep her child.
Any man/woman whose spouse has died.
Any single person (man or woman) who has adopted or had a child conceived through non traditional means. (Surrogate mom, sperm bank, etc)

THis is a sore subject for me and one that irritates the hell out of me. My son was 6 when his father died. I was a single parent but never used that term. If you can hand your kid off to someone and take a break for a weekend or weeknight, you are in now way a single parent. YOU HAVE HELP!

I had to plot and plan months in advance for a sleepover or a day out with grandparents or friends so that I can take a nap or go out with friends, let alone have a date. That was like a covert operation.

This woman is not a single parent. Most aren't unless the dad or BM has run off and is not in the picture. If you have re-married you are not single mom anymore either. Although, I still feel like one, since DH parents his and I parent mine. But, he is still in the house and I can still vent to him about BS17.

For 9 years I was a single mom, but I preferred to use the term widowed mom since that fit better and the term Single mom is overused.

I think this is just a new battle in the never ending Mommy Wars.

I don't take issue with the term "single parent". I think of it as a literal status more than a title to claim. IMO, if you're single & you're a parent, you're a single parent.

I suppose the SAHM title could be taken the same way. If you're a mom & you stay at home, you're a SAHM. I'm not sure why it bothers me that BM claims that one but her calling herself a single parent doesn't. :?

It REALLY bothered me that our BM signed up my skids for Big Brother/Big Sister program but yet would refuse the COed visitation to my DH! In fact, she sometimes used an outting with the BB/BS as an EXCUSE for the skids not to visit!!

I was a true single mom with no father in the picture from when my son was 6 months old. He didn't even start paying CS until my son was almost 10 and never exercised any visitation. He didn't even contact him until after he was 18. Then he contacted him over FB.

It always bothered me how BM treated my DH like he was a worthless POS of a father when he COULD have been like MY son's father! Oh yeah, she would have LOVED that. Because it was all about the money for her. And being able to minimize the other parent's input on raising their own child.

Comparing who has it worse and has earned the title and martyrdom is dumb.

Going with that line of think I could say that 80% of the women on this site don't qualify as stepmothers because they only have their skids eowe or 50/50..... And you are only a REAL stepmom if you have the kids full time like me.

It's rediculous to make comparisons.

OP, yes she is a single mom...she is single and she is a mom. But just because she's a single mom doesn't mean that she isn't getting help, that she has it harder than any one else, or that she has a right to bitch and moan.

I consider myself a single mom.

i am married to DH, but I have 2 bios from my previous marriage, they are here every weekday before and after school and sleep at their dads, maybe 10 days a month if that.

their bio dad doesn't provide anything financially for them.

i am 100% financially responsible for my kids, I am 100% responsible for their activities, their schoolwork, their friend play dates, their everything on my own. bio-dad nor dh have ever attended a gymnastics class, a skating class. bio-dad has shown up at the odd school play. i also work full time, make all the meals, do all the laundry, plan all the weekend fun, take them to all their appointments.

I may be married but I receive no help from any 'male' figure in my life where my children are concerned, to me, that makes me a single mom.

And actually, before DH and his 2 kids were in my life, my single mom life was actually easier than it is now - at least I was calling all the shots for just me and my girls... now more often than not, I have 2 more kids dumped on me.

idk

One time BM got a letter in the mail from an annon person (I think it was DH's older sister, but I honestly don't know) but it said "there is a difference between being a single mom and being a DIVORCED mom, learn it and appreciate it". When BM asked me if I sent it I said "no, why would I send that to you? You know your are not a 'single mom' single moms have no dad around that takes care of the kid". She just looked at me like "yeah right you didn't send it". But I really didn't. I never knew she referred to herself as a single mom.

My oldest two kiddos dad died when they were 2 and 9 months. I was a single parent until I remarried a few years later. I am not in anyway a single parent now as my dh is their stepparent.

I will say-the absolute hardest time of my life parenting was when my now dh was deployed. Technically I was not a single parent-I had his income and of course we were still married-but I had the kids 24/7 except when I worked late and my parents generously watched them. I didnt like to ask them to watch them more since they helped me out for work. I had 4 kids (one was ss)all age 5 and under and worked full time for a 9 months. I finally quit my job at 9 months and enjoyed the last 6 months as a stay at home mom.

I go for a meetng and this becomes quite the debate. I am not trying to put down SAHM's in anyway. I have issues with it, if it is clear your family could use the income and you are staying at home because you don't want to work. Most of myu friends are SAHM's. Some I respect the decision more than others based on what I know of their lives. But, it is not my life.

As for the widowed mom debate, I have never asked for any sympathy because I raised my son alone. I am definitely not asking for Martydom. I just have a real hard time with a mom doing the "Woe is me" card because the Dad is not around every day. That was a choice you made for one reason or another. Widows and widowers do not have the choice. I would trade everything I have to have one day with my late husband so he could see the accomplishments his son has made. Accomplishments that no one else will ever appreciate as his biological parents would. My DH is great with him, but he doesn't acknowledge it the way I do. Just as I never will with my Steps. They just are not my bio's and I will never feel the same way.

I had a call last night from an old friends husband, our kid were in cub scouts together. She died 6 years ago from Breast Cancer, leaving him to raise 8 kids alone. All through catholic school at a great expense. It was their choice to have 8 kids, but he clearly thought he would raise them with her. Now it is 6 years later and we were checking in with each other since he remembered my DH. He has never dated, because he has no time. He is a single Dad....The youngest is around 10. I guarantee he has not referred to himself that way. It is not done. Women use labels. Men rarely do to describe themselves. I am sure there is some deep psychology to this.

Also, these BM's could ask for help from these dads. Our BM told everyone she was a single mom. We had 50/50 one week on and one week off. Not once does anyone refer to my husband as single dad when he was alone with them for that week. Why, because it is not appropriate...He has a BM who had the kids half the time.

That is my issue, if you are divorced and there is an ex-spouse who from time to time spends time with their kid, then you are not alone raising your kid. Don't use the title, it just diminishes it for the moms who have no help and are struggling everyday.