The past is the past. I am not sure why she would want to know this. I know of my DH's significant relationships but if he had one night stands etc I have no idea and I do not want to know.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

The only reason I can see her pressing for answers is if she's worried about STD's or HIV. If this is the case, offer for both of you to go and get tested. Otherwise, you're not discussing your past paramours with her.

The past is the past, and there is no reason to tell her about it. Digging up dead bodies and carrying them around in a new relationship is not a good idea. The only reason why current BF/GF's ask this question is because they're insecure and will use it to throw it in your face.

I have heard from my SO's friends that he was a bit of a man-whore in his single days. I don't care. It's not my business. I'm not going to delve into that aspect of his life and he has never tried to delve into mine. It has NOTHING to do with life NOW so it really should not matter.

Apparently, his X nagged him about his *past* & insisted on telling him about her own...I find this unnecessary and a little on the TMI side.

Have you asked her WHY she wants to know so badly? What good could come from it?

My guess is that she is feeling insecure (probably about sex) so I would not tell her anything else. If you do it will just eat at her and make her feel worse and more insecure.

Maybe you have had a very "active" past and hers not so much. She is worrying that she is "enough" for you because of that. She must be doing something right for you to be with her so I would give her all of the verbal reassurance she needs and she'll eventually get over it.

Do NOT tell her anything more about your past relationships or about any PAST "HOT" nights unless they were with HER!

If she keeps asking "there wasn't any HOT nights or any GOOD past girlfriends" they were just people from your past!

My feelings on this subject may differ from a lot of people but I feel it is important to be open and honest about everything with someone you intend to spend the rest of your life with. This includes your past, present and future.

Is there a specific reason you don't want to tell her? Are you worried she will be upset with the amount of one night stands you've had? To truly be with someone they have to know the person they are with and at the very least be given the chance to accept their partners for who they are now and how they have become this person.

I asked my SO this question fairly soon into our relationship and was quite shocked by the number. That question leads to follow up questions and a STD test regardless of the number. Having lots of one night stands says a lot about a person, more negative than positive sad but true.

If you are ashamed because your number is too high, then it's quite simple..own it and stop being a whore bag. If you are ashamed because your number is too low you can make your relationship with her feel special.

Don't tell her it's none of her business! That will make her feel isolated from you. Plus, that will only make her more suspicious and defensive. Tell her you really don't care and your past really doesn't matter to you. Let her know that you want to focus only on her and the present!

Maybe the reason she is so caught up with your "number" is because she feels guilty over how much of HER past is currently affecting YOUR present. Maybe she is subconsciously (or totally methodically, who knows) hoping that your total romantic interludes will somehow lessen the burden she brings to the relationship. Kind of a "well, I may have an asshole of an ex-husband that I still have frequent interactions with, with whom I have children that you help support, but YOU'VE had a hundred sexual partners, and I've only had three, so you are the one with more skeletons in your closet" or some shit. I could be off base, but that's my speculation on why she's so hung up on it.

I agree that no good can come of telling her. Even if you've HAD tons of ONS and "hot nights", as long as you have both been tested for anything that could be dangerous to the other, you don't owe her anything more than treating her with respect and kindness. If you did end up giving into her demands for a number, after you've told her, she can then feel better about turning the spotlight off of herself and onto you. In my experience, most people that demand to know all of the sordid details of their current partner's past partners do so out of insecurity, guilt, or jealousy. You'd be opening up Pandora's box by sharing that portion of your life with this woman in particular. Most secure people won't harp on these kinds of details.

Bottom line: If you don't feel right about sharing the private sexual details of your PAST (operative word here!), then don't. Help her calm down about it by making her feel like she's the ONLY one in your world. But seriously, her hounding you for specifics sounds like an emotional trap to me. People may end up sharing this information with each other at some point, but not while under intense scrutiny, pressure, or duress. Good luck.

Keep mum! Completely divulging my past with my ex under the thought "It's the past and telling all ahows trust" destroyed me, my marriage, my self esteem etc I was a filthy whore as far as he was concerned and though I never cheated never thought to flirt with others as far as he was concerned my past justified his multiple affairs. My SO knows nothing other than I was with my ex for 15a years and had two kids that's all I'll ever tell him.

Keep mum! Completely divulging my past with my ex under the thought "It's the past and telling all ahows trust" destroyed me, my marriage, my self esteem etc I was a filthy whore as far as he was concerned and though I never cheated never thought to flirt with others as far as he was concerned my past justified his multiple affairs. My SO knows nothing other than I was with my ex for 15a years and had two kids that's all I'll ever tell him.