Not happy with SO
I dont go in SDs room anymore, because I dont want to know. Well the dog did and there is now trash everywhere from the dog ripping open a bag where SD was hiding empty food containers she left fermenting in her room all week. So I text SO pictures of the mess and thank him for giving his DD permission to eat in her room and reinforcing the fact that she doesnt have to respect my rules. His first response is, dont start an argument with SD. I reminded him I am not saying a word to her this is a conversation I am having with him. He then gets defensive and says SD does it because she sees my DS doing it. I let him have it. My son has tried to bring a small snack to his room yes, he is a kid that's what kids do they test limits. I reminded him how the last time it was an apple. I also reminded SO that when my DS tries to break my rules have always immediately redirected him and disciplined him when neccessary. I ask what he has done all the times his DD has broken the rules??? Oh nothing, that's right! Matter of fact 2 weeks ago he even gave her permission behind my back to eat in her room, only telling me after I saw the empty bag. He then brought up how her room has been fairly clean. So I reminded him that was because before I would always make her clean it, and how I am not doing that anymore and how from now on when there is an issue I am making it his issue. So I told him how upset I am with him, not his kids him! I have never been given anything by anyone, I have worked hard and sacrificed to be where I am today and to own this beautiful home which I have opened up to him and his kids. All I ever asked in return is for people to pick up after themselves, keep thier areas clean and be respectful. I do not get any respect from SD, and now I am not getting any from him either. So what exactly is the benefit I am receiving from this relationship.??
And what was
And what was his response to that very reasonable question?
He put his tail between his
He put his tail between his legs and said he will take care of it. I told him, of all people, I cant believe he would have that attitude. He is the same person who has complained numerous times how he finally left thier BM when she moved her brother and his kids into the home and he would come home to all the food being gone and the house being a complete mess and no one would ever clean up after themselves. So he can understand how shitty it feels to have people disrespect you and your home.
Funny how similar! SD10 tries
Funny how similar! SD10 tries to sneak food out the kitchen A LOT. She was FINALLY cleaning her room this weekend and what did she find? ANTS! I too took a pic and sent to DH who was at work. I went ahead and gave SD a trash bag, bug spray, and wipes to clean it all up. I just flat out told her it was disgusting. Will she probably twist my words and tell her BM something else instead... I can already hear "my SM told me I was gross."
I didn't care this time. Having bugs and trash is literally a breeding ground and totally disgusting. No consequence from DH. Not surprised though. Glad he wasn't home so I can handle this one. I am NOT the one for confrontation, but when cleanliness of the house comes into question because of disobeying rules - I WILL stand up and say something.
I feel the same way!!! I told
I feel the same way!!! I told him when I first started out on my own and didnt have 2 cents to rub together. I had no choice but to live in some not so nice places where I had to fend off rodents, ants and even once roaches. You learn to be meticulously clean when you are in that situation to an extreme, to keep your apt pest free. Now that I can afford to live comfortably, I will be damned if I am going to voluntarily live in a way that invites pests into my home. No way!!
I have this same argument
I have this same argument over and over and over again with DH. I have told him, "if you don't want to clean up after your children, that's fine, but that means I expect you to clean up after them." It's annoying to have two people come into my home regularly, who are complete dead weight. This isn't a hotel. He always accuses me of not likely his children, but honestly, who would like any "houseguests" who came EOWE, demanded to be catered to, demanded to be entertained, and then left, leaving a mess behind them. Also, not sure why it's so hard for DH to just manage their mess. It's not like I expect them to scrub toilets, I want trash put in the proper recepticle and dishes brought downstairs to the sink. I don't think that's too much to expect.
I'm another that went through
I'm another that went through this. Absolute filth, rotten food, trash and dirty dishes hidden in the dresser and the closet, sheets so used they turned from pink to gray. Dirty clothes, towels and tissues all over the floor.
DH was mad at me for pushing SD to clean. So I told him no way was I rolling over, it was my house too and I don't want rodents or ants in it (we previously lived in a rental that ended up with a big rat problem, and DH would not make OSD clean up there either!) and wouldn't put up with his lack of support.
He started helping OSD clean. Or rather, clean fir her. He was upset at how dirty it was. That lasted a couple months until he got tired of it. Then it went back to the way it was. I ignored. And then I started smelling it. I went clean sweep.
Everything not in it's place in trash bags. Trash, rotten food, everything in bags. Five trash bags. In garage. If she wanted stuff, she had to clean it up. DH became her gopher, the trash bags were a storage area. I moved them to another place. DH was then mad at ME. So I dumped it all back on her bed for them to sort out. And I clean swept again several weeks later. And this time I got rid of it. Too bad.
And I don't care to this day what they think. I don't think literally having trash and rotten food in a bedroom, let alone in the house, is any way acceptable.
I am sitting on the fence at
I am sitting on the fence at this point. It has crossed my mind. To tell them they are not being held hostage here and if being asked to clean up after themselves and show respect for what they have been given is asking too much, and they feel that thier lives were so much better before, there is the door...
I say go for it.
I say go for it.
Time to tell your SO
To either make SD shape up or the both of them to move out and live in all the mess they want.