Hi all 

I don't know if any of the old crew are still around who may remember me. A friend of mine is recently going through something similar and it brought all the memories back. I read through the old posts and realised how unhappy and foolish I was for so long 

back in 2017-2018 I was here a lot because the man who I thought was my soul mate turned out to be not. Ironically me and bm could usually get along but his kids basically ignored me which was my fault and his parents and especially his mother made my life hell on Earth. 
in late 2018 I started to make plans to leave but one thing after another would come up and I would never bite the bullet.  Things changed the summer of 2019 - I ended up having to move for my job and the peace and freedom gave me time to enjoy myself and also left him to deal with all the lovely family stuff by himself. For a little while things improved and I actually thought we might be able to turn things around and we might make it. 
My birthday is in August and he was away visiting his parents with the kids that entire month for the second year in a row ( because there was clearly no other month that ever existed in the year). Now on previous years I would have gotten flowers and a present delivered and as soon as he woke post time difference I would have a sweet what's app happy birthday message 

that year no flowers. No present. No happy birthday message. I remember distinctly coming back from lunch break and thinking is this it ? The end? He didn't contact me until 9 pm that night and by then sadness had turned to fury. After that conversation he didn't contact me for two weeks until he got back to our country. Turns out mommy dear who had basically poisoned the rest of the family against me had spent the month they were away working on him as well. He had also apparently been in hospital while away and yet no one had told me even though I was next of kin

queue a massive shouting and screaming match and me leaving for good. It was the end of six years together and I missed the end of my 20s and start of my 30s trying to make this work. Unfortunately we work in similar jobs and have a similar community so I heard through the grape vine that six weeks after we broke up he had a new girlfriend. Were they talking behind my back before this and he forced my hand to break up with him- I don't know. I don't care anymore tho I can assure you at the time it sucked and it stung something fierce

but what I will tell you is this: I learned the hard way that I was expendable and apparently not worth very much to him. Don't give up the best parts of yourself for them. Life can be amazing after - mine is. I still haven't found the right person but I am so much wiser for everything and so glad I finally found the strength to get out. It took me a long time to find it because I was so exhausted and beaten down by everything. But I finally did. My friend hopefully will soon too. And you can too. 
 

I am really feeling her pain at the moment and I see from a quick look at the posts not much has changed here. Please don't sell yourself short. Get out and live your best life.