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So very tired

MayCorine85's picture

Submitted by MayCorine85 on Thu, 01/28/2021 - 1:04pm

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I'm so tired. I'm tired of trying to help 14yr old SD be ready for life when nobody else seems worried about it. I'm tired of the manipulation that happens with DH that he verbally recognizes but doesn't change his behavior with SD. I'm tired of there being no parenting plan in place for 4 months now and BM just sitting over there not caring and just worried about it being her responsibility again. I'm tired of SD deciding when and if she goes over BM house and everyone going along with it. I'm just tired y'all. Everyone around me just keeps saying you have to love her like your own, but she isn't and when your efforts to help are shut down by attitudes and annoyance.... it makes you not want to try. Then your told you have to keep trying it's your child too. I'm just so over this. I have two toddlers to take care of and at 14 SD should be making my load less and not more with her laziness. Don't know what the answer is, just knew I need to vent to people that get it and don't just keep telling my you have to love her and keep trying. I try my best to disengage but it doesn't seem to work unless I completely ignore it all. 

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Thu, 01/28/2021 - 1:24pm

I would not do anything for a 14-year-old who treated me poorly. She's DH's responsibility. And tell those who say it's your child too to mind their own business.

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Thu, 01/28/2021 - 7:24pm

I wouldn't do much for a 14 year old that was nice to me. At 14 years old, they should be fairly self sustaining... need some assistance or ask questions to be able to complete a task. If someone is 14 and needs a lot of help, that is beyond what I am willing to do. 

Movingonisbest's picture

Submitted by Movingonisbest on Thu, 01/28/2021 - 5:22pm

Everyone around me just keeps saying you have to love her like your own, but she isn't and when your efforts to help are shut down by attitudes and annoyance.... it makes you not want to try. Then your told you have to keep trying it's your child too. I'm just so over this. I have two toddlers to take care of and at 14 SD should be making my load less and not more with her laziness. Don't know what the answer is, just knew I need to vent to people that get it and don't just keep telling my you have to love her and keep trying. 

Sounds like you are surrounded by a bunch of foolish people. Don't let other people dictate who you love. You didn't give birth to her and you didn't adopt her so she is NOT your child. You really need to surround yourself with better people. Smh

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

Submitted by Wicked stepmo. on Thu, 01/28/2021 - 6:33pm

You absolutely do not have to love her like your own. You are not her parent, you will never be her parent. She may some day choose you as a bonus parent, but that is never a guarantee. 

All you are doing is acting as an unpaid baby sitter and you are being taken advantage of by two lazy parents.