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What a crap week!

bananaseedo's picture

Submitted by bananaseedo on Tue, 04/06/2021 - 11:05am

So my son was hopsitalized again on a 1013 last week, he was inpatient.  They discharged him yesterday and I had required he go to a longer stay at another location that had partial hospitalzation with lodging there.  He refused to go and came home.  I have an appt with a lawyer tomorrow to see about obtaining a temporary medical guardianship so when (not if) he cracks again I can force him into longer treatment.  He continues to have no insight into his condition or diseases (schizoaffective disorder with bipolar).   If I send him to a shelter he will very quickly likely relapse into psychosis and end up inpatient again or who knows, could commit a crime or hurt himself.  So I"m dealing with him being back until he has to go back for now.  

To make matters way worse, SD came over with her boyfriend yesterday and told us she is 5 weeks pregnant, she is 20yrs old. She never wanted kids at all and is pretty distraught.  Her boyfriend does and it seems his parents are pushing them to have the baby and move in back with them and help them build a place on their land.   I'm afraid SD will feel pressured to go ahead with this even though she doesn't want it.  We are hoping to talk w/her further to encourage her to make the right choice for her.  It is in no way best for her right now-not to mention though she is working-they have no health insurance!!  Barely have jobs bartending and such, nothing stable.   To say we are furious is an understatement.  Life keeps throwing horrific sh*t our way, it just doensn't end!!!  

Comments

advice.only2's picture

Submitted by advice.only2 on Tue, 04/06/2021 - 11:09am

I'm so sorry virtual hugs because this is rough. I hope you can get the guardianship for your son and help him get the treatment he needs.

As for SD god don't let them pressure her into something she's not ready for. I really feel for her, especially in today's climate of women being allowed to choose.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Tue, 04/06/2021 - 11:32am

So sorry to hear all of this, banana. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

A dear friend of mine has a son who went through something similar to yours. It was a long, crap road, but the doctors were finally able to find medication that works. He has been a completely different person the last 6+ months. Hopefully, something will work for your son.

I agree with advice.only2 about your SD. I imagine if she decides to terminate the pregnancy that her relationship will end, but she is only 20. She needs to do what is best for her. And if she truly does not want children, perhaps she can get her tubes tied. 

IDontCare3117's picture

Submitted by IDontCare3117 on Tue, 04/06/2021 - 12:25pm

I'm so sorry to hear about your son.  I hope you can get the guardianship to help him get the right treatment.

Your SD is only 20 and has her whole life in front of her.  I pray she doesn't allow her boyfriend and his parents to pressure her into going through with a pregnancy she doesn't want, isn't prepared for, and can't afford.  

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Tue, 04/06/2021 - 1:00pm

I have no words for you in regards to your son. I just can't imagine.

In regards to SD, this likely isn't a popular opinion, but if I were her SM, I'd tell her to get an abortion and announce it as a miscarriahe IF she feels she can't be honest. She doesn't want kiddos, she doesn't have health insurance which puts HER health at risk, and the likelihood that her 20 year old BF is a long-hauler given their mismatch on kids means someone gets really hurt later. But I'd also have a long discussion about needing to get on long-acting birth control so this doesn't happen again.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Tue, 04/06/2021 - 1:03pm

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I hope your son sticks to his meds. That is the hard part about these illnesses, once the person starts feeling better they want to stop taking them. Or they feel too numb on them and want to "feel" things so they go off. It is so scary watching it all and having so little ability to help. My heart goes out to you.

As for SD, I really hope you can talk to her alone. As crappy as it sounds she can tell her BF she had a miscarriage and terminate. She needs to do what is best for her!

bananaseedo's picture

Submitted by bananaseedo on Tue, 04/06/2021 - 1:09pm

Thanks everyone, it's been an incredibly difficult last few years.  He is completely NON med compliant, so doesn't take anything.  With teh medical guardianship I could force the shot but I"m afraid it's something he would never ever forgive me for-he's VERY anti pharma-I what him to understand and make his own decision.  Hopefully with extended therapy he can see it.  We are going to a community CSB program tomorrow to get started with another evaluation and services we will need.  

You have a good point about SD just saying it's a miscarriage, her dad is very distraught and would drive him herself for an abortion, he wants nothing to do with this and will not support her having a child.  There is no way this is good for her or the child at this juncture of her life.  

BM is bi-polar with episodes of psychosis and had a meth addiction -but she is in a very good place now, employed, clean and with a fiance.  SD also has some undiagnosed mental health issues-though not as bad as my son-and that's one of the reasons she had decided she didn't want kids.  She loves dogs and her freedom and travelling....this would literally ruin her life.  She's had several friends get knocked up even younger then her and are now w/no dad around and struggling to keep utilities on even, she knows it's a horrible path at this point.  I will drive her myself if she chooses to terminate-not sure but at this age she could likely just do the pill one and not procedure being so early.  

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Tue, 04/06/2021 - 1:20pm

I'm sorry you're having to go through all of this.  I have no advice, but I hope all the best decisions are made and that things get better for your family soon.  ((HUGS))

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Submitted by Exjuliemccoy on Tue, 04/06/2021 - 1:34pm

I'm sorry, banana. Your difficulties put mine in perspective.

Sending you good thoughts.

bananaseedo's picture

Submitted by bananaseedo on Tue, 04/06/2021 - 1:38pm

I wish it were only these things, there's even more to our misfortune in the last few years- I often feel cursed like Job to be honest.

 

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Tue, 04/06/2021 - 4:37pm

He is not capable to decide not to go into in patients treatment,  and going to your house.  He going to relapse really fast.  He need treatment as in patient type of treatment.  And hopefully thay can make inroads in helping him.  Hospital do emergency treatment.  Not real long term treatment 
 

No one except the court can force inpatient treatment,  He has to do something really bad for the courts to do that,  The state then will be required to pay for his treatment.   States don't like that 

 

bananaseedo's picture

Submitted by bananaseedo on Tue, 04/06/2021 - 9:29pm

Yes, hence while I'll be looking into an attorney about guardianship.   So far, as of tonight, he has agreed to go to a place for assesment and has a day hospitalization program/outpatient.   During treatment should he get worse they CAN inpatient him, but they don't have outpatient with residential like the other place I wanted.  I figured if he can agree at least to the daytime program so I can help gain his trust and see his progress, if/when they recommend he needs inpatient then I'm having him taken to the other place so he can 'step down' straight from inpatient to residential with day program at the same location.

Just a living nightmare.  In speaking to him, though he's not in complete psychosis, the paranoid thoughts are still VERY present.  I just know he'll have to accept medication at some point.  

 

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

Submitted by Wicked stepmo. on Wed, 04/07/2021 - 3:18am

Sorry about your son. Do they have any adult case management services where you live? That can be a big help in providing assistance and supervision for adults with mental health issues and take some of the burden off of you.

I would bring SD to Planned Parenthood they have free counseling there for family planning she can talk to to help her decide what is best for her.