This one was a story that Ive seen replicated here every now and then. Typically before the divorce proceedings and in the beginning of the "adopt my kid" conversations. Typically here asking "Am I crazy? Am I the A$$hole?"

I think that hes well within his rights and I support his decision to not adopt and to leave. He should leave as soon as possible, with full legal representation.

She sounds very selfish and self-serving. 

Yes, he is within his rights to leave and cut financial ties.

I kind of take issue with him 'playing house' for 5 years though.  Why did he agree to let his DW be a stay-at-home mother if he wasn't prepared to support the child?  He should have told her she needed to continue working as he was only the step-parent, they were in counseling due to her infidelity, and it was not certain their marriage would survive.  

Yes she sounds like a peach - cheat on him, have a kid, then try and force him to adopt the kid that isn't his.  What a winner.

He should have divorced her from the jump. Think about what getting pregnant from a stranger really means. She used NO protection. Which also means she didn't give a rat's ass about the person she had at home. He's lucky all she brought home was a baby and not HIV. I could never forgive a pregnancy if my DH cheated. Cheating? I may get over - but knocking up someone else? Nope. HARD no for me.

I think people take a great deal of artistic liberty with those AITA posts. Some of those details seem too bad or too convenient. Like they stayed together but he went through the process to make sure he was not established as the father yet the other guy was not named. She has no idea who the guy is and he is unable to have children?? Something seems fishy and I don't buy it. 

If we chose to believe the story the wide was definitely trying to get him on the books for CS. But I find it very unbelievable that he would be able to legally have him be only her child. It's dumb to go through the effort and expense to be exonerated as the father at birth only to go through more hassle and expense to adopt later. 

I'm not buying this story 

I wonder what the court will decide about this case. A judge may have a very different opinion about whether or not he is the 'dad' or not..

You have to wonder if this bm will push like hell for child support, college and everything else.

We had this conversation with our teens and older. DO not adopt someone else's child.

Adoption is a wonderful chance for people to become parents..This story is very different than that.

IMO, she's fortunate he did not divorce her at the get-go. Cheating, I could forgive. Eventually. But resulting in pregnancy. ~shudder~

Okay, so the H could not have children. If the W wanted children, they should have discussed it. Sperm donor, adoption... but a one-night stand? I would have filed for divorce. 

I see this situation as somewhat similar to a man marrying a woman knowing she is pregnant or has a baby with no father in the picture. The chld is not his responsibility. (And, like many of us here, he spent a lot of money on the skid.) A friend of mine's daughter got pregnant at 17yo. The father died of a drug overdose. While she was pregnant, she started dating someone. They married 2 years ago. She is now 25 and her son is 8yo. Her husband is now in the process of adopting the boy. SHe never asked him to do so; he WANTS to do it. Big difference.

They had an agreement. Period. Who knows why she wanted to change it. To get CS because she planned to eventually divorce him so she could boink other men and not be a cheater? Maybe she already had a piece on the side. Regardless, she wanted to change the agreement and (IMO) played dirty pool trying to get him to do what she wanted.

Unless I read wrong, the AITA OP and his XW were young 20s when they got married and she cheated. The actions he took were smart-but-stupid like I'd expect from any young 20s adult. Staying with her and "playing house" sounds like a lot of young 20s marriages. That's where he was dumb, and there was likely pressure from family and friends to not abandon his pregnant wife. He was smart in establishing that he wasn't the father and didn't want to be the father, and kudos for going to therapy and at least trying to save this.

My two cents is that the wife wanted kids, or a kid, but was young and didn't know that "love isn't enough". So, she went out and purposefully got pregnant, thinking that her DH would come around. She miscalculated, then doubled-down on that miscalculation. Why? No idea. Maybe she never really loved her DH and only wanted him for stability and money? Maybe she didn't want to be alone? Maybe she was raised without consequence and always got what she wanted? Hard to say.

It would be interesting to see what a court says, though. This will be very "he said/she said" as to how involved OP was/is with the kid.