Cameras might save me after all
Soooo...
After two very uncomfortable weeks of fighting with my husband over SD, I have convinced him to get cameras for the home. If you read my last blog, you would be shocked he even agreed to this.
We have purchased two cameras. One camera is in a shared bedroom where my daughter along with SD sleep facing towards SDs bed and desk and the second camera is in the living room to make sure the shared space is safe for my children to play without accusations.
My son is no longer permitted in the girls room while SD is here and SD is no longer permitted in my son's room at all.
This prevents SD from trying to say my son "touched her" or her stuff in any sort of way. This was the ticket to convincing my husband to do this as SD troll has a history of doing this to other boys.
The cameras arrived Friday afternoon and SD arrives Friday night. SD pretty much demands to go to a specific place all weekend. It's my son's birthday weekend so my husband and I agreed that my son can pick the activities this weekend. SD pouts to Daddy repeatedly making him reiterate several times. Not my problem.
It's my son's birthday on Saturday. He along with my daughter go to their dads on Saturday morning per our agreement.
Husband installs new cameras while my kids are gone for the day. While installing the new cameras, SD is making horribly dreadful glares at me repeatedly. I tell him she is doing that and loudly say that the camera will be catching her from now on. She continues to glare anyway.
Fast-forward to Saturday night. I pick up my kids from dad's birthday party and the first thing little troll SD says to them is this: "we have new cameras to catch your (my son and daughter) behavior.
Mind you this is again my son's birthday and they just got home. Also the cameras were purchased for SDs behavior.
One to two minutes later as my daughter that shares a room with SD takes off her shoes to put them away, SD yells in her face, "Yay you are going to be grounded!"
I'm sorry but what sick little bratty troll says these things? I told her to get over to her dad so I can confront this immediately.
Guess what? Now that it's on camera, dad had to get off his ass and do something about it instead of ignore troll aka daddy's perfect princess.
Troll went home Sunday night to BMs and this time around Troll did not make up wild accusations against myself or my children for the first time in months. Trust me, if she did we would have heard about it Sunday night.
For the first time in a while, we didn't fight after Troll left. In fact he was super quiet most of the night.
I wish we did this sooner. It might actually save my marriage (if you read my previous blog).
Between the cameras, less fighting due to lack of denial and venting here, I actually woke up the next day (Post Troll) not feeling like I needed to take an Aspirin from chest pain.
Finally a win!
Good luck little Troll trying to lie your way out of your behavior from now on.
Troll free for two weeks until we start the next Friday to Sunday all over again.
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Comments
Are you sure two cameras are
Are you sure two cameras are enough? If she knows the "blind" spots, I assume this will continue just out of sight. I hope I'm wrong.
She doesn't know the blind
She doesn't know the blind spots and the camera shows 90 or more percent of their room. She is forbidden from my son's room. The living room is 100 percent covered. The dining room is right in front of our room and she is too lazy and entitled to go in the kitchen by herself.
She does goodness what in the bathroom by herself forever each time but I don't want to be the sicko that puts a camera in the bathroom.
I do have two extra back up cameras if needed.
We don't have bedrooms or
We don't have bedrooms or bathrooms due to privacy issues. We wouldn't want any accusations there. I would call the one in the girls room a "baby monitor".
We have the kitchen?dining room, computer/game/teen room, livingroom, Entry way. I want to add upstairs hall and garage.
The girls have a walk-in
The girls have a walk-in closet to change clothes and also their bathroom for privacy. A majority of our problems happen in the girls bedroom with SD constantly accusing my kids of various things.
I agree with no bathroom cameras though. That's just too much. I just make sure there is only one kid in there at a time. I don't even let them brush their teeth together to avoid problems.
2 cameras are a great start!
2 cameras are a great start! We have a total of 4 but will have 6 if SS does come back out again. I found 2 weak spots.
I love our cameras. They just take away all doubt!
Absolutely. I could just cry
Absolutely. I could just cry tears of joy that my husband finally agreed to cameras. I'll update the post or write a new one if we get more than two but we have a rather modest sized condo so extras might be overkill.
Do they play outside together
Do they play outside together? Might be a good idea to put one outside if there is a place they play outside often. I'm glad the cameras will help, just be prepared when your DH flips the script and starts pointing out things to you the kids do and expecting immediate action. Not saying that to be flippant or negative, I just know that's how some of these DH's tend to respond.
I already discipline my kids
I already discipline my kids when we catch them so that's a non issue. Let him point it out. I know he will. This is ultimately for SD though so dad will stop being in mass denial and BH can stop harassing us with SDs lies.
I live in a small community so they only go to the pool together when we are at home and I ALWAYS go outside with them so she can't start her funny business there.
Sounds exhausting
I know you are hoping to save marriage and stay together, but this sounds exhausting...
Oh it is. My next step if
Oh it is. My next step if this doesn't get much better after a time period post camera installation is to demand separate kid weekends.
If separate kid weekends won't work beyond that, I'm throwing in the towel.
Your children are probably
Your children are probably suffering due to your choice of husband who treats you badly when you bring up issues.
I'm hoping this will change
I'm hoping this will change with the cameras installed as proof of SDs lovely behavior. If not I'm going to switch weekends and if that's not enough, I'm done.
I'm trying out the cameras first.
I believe it's only a matter
I believe it's only a matter if time before the SD accused your son of sexual assault or assaults him and gets pregnant. Then your son will be a sex offender because you chose to stay in this toxic situation.
Thus the cameras to stop this
Thus the cameras to stop this behavior before getting anywhere near that level. As I said to a few others, if the cameras don't work I'm going to demand separate weekends. If separate weekends don't work, I'm done.
Will you be monitoring those
Will you be monitoring those camera 24 hours a day?
Something may happen, even
Something may happen, even with the cameras, that won't be able to be "undone".
So I think cameras are great
But not enough in instances where the SD has eluded to or falsely claimed inappropriate touching. Sexual abuse claims are something that go beyond we have cameras it's all good now.
Your poor son. Imagine his reputation being ruined at 11 years ago if this SD decides to run her trap. No camera can save your son from the fallout from that.
If SD is making up stuff like that (which I wasn't able to accurately find in your blogs but I'm eating) she needs mental help. And your son needs protection. I'd be out. No man is worth your child's future. This man isn't doing much to ensure you and your kids are safe from SDs false accusations. Protect yourself and your children fully.
Nope I just re read
She's gonna ruin your sons life. All she has to do is say it to someone who will listen. Be ready to deal with cps any day. Get your daughter out of this mentally disturbed Child's room. Perhaps SD has been abused. Either way she needs help.
We have 4 cameras inside our
We have 4 cameras inside our home. We got them to protect ourselves from my son's BM who was in the habit of making up stories. GD's room, main living room, kitchen and family room. It is my opinion that you should switch weekends with your ex and keep your children away from SD immediately. You should have installed those cameras without her knowing as she will for sure find a way to do her bidding out of sight of the cameras.
Cameras seem great, but they
Cameras seem great, but they don't reverse time and change anything if it's already happened. Under no circumstance would I risk losing custody of my OWN kid over a stupid, manipulative SK. This would be a hill to die on for me. If DH can't take his custody time elsewhere to a neutral location without you, I would be gone ASAP. No judge would ever fault you for protecting your own children.
You shouldn't need saving.
You shouldn't need saving. Your DH should have enough respect to believe the things you say. It's bad enough BM and SD are your enemies, but DH is in their camp.