You are here

OH SD....your entitlement is astounding

halo1998's picture

Submitted by halo1998 on Thu, 03/17/2022 - 12:20pm

SD is 60 days from turning 16. She isn't a youngin anymore and can certainly understand more adult things.  AH....apparently not.

DH works in IT...he usually works for small startup companies. Now, there are risks with startups...but there are also great rewards.  We know this and plan accordingly.  In the last 2 weeks DH went from winning award at work to being laid off along with the other 30 percent of the company.  Its a startup and their sales were down and they didn't get another round of funding. So....yep...30% layed off in one day.

Eh...we can sustain it since we plan for it.  DH will catch on quick somewhere else but we usually plan for at least 6 weeks of unemployment.  That being said, we always cut back on things that we don't need and concentrate on things we do need.  Like right now we will still work on fixing up our house, since the one thing we are doing has to be done before the next winter.  Other things, like eating out alot and traveling, etc are on hold.  

So..what does SD do...sends DH a text at 10 p.m. last night asking for him to pay $3200 US to go on a trip to the Dominican Republic.  Uhm...yea NO.  Not even if DH was employed would she be going on this trip.  Its not for a foreign language class or anything. SD took American Sigh Language as her foreign language...because and I quote.."Spanish is too hard, French is just weird and I don't want to learn German"  smh..

Like really SD you know your dad is unemployed...we did sit her down and tell he was laid off (made redundant for those not in the US)...so she knows. 

SD also has the nerve to ask for new jeans. This was as HARD no for 2 reasons.

1.  unemployed DH...Halo doesn't fund SD...Halo's money is Halo's money.

2.  SD likes to get new clothes and then 2 months later when she "changes" her look wants new ones and gives the old ones to good will.  I keep having to fish out the expensive clothes from being given away.  We are talking $80 AE jeans and the like.  I don't give a rats rear end if she had decided to "change" looks.....you don't get new stuff every two months.

Sigh....I think SD has become to accustomed to thinking DH is rolling in money.

 

Comments

advice.only2's picture

Submitted by advice.only2 on Thu, 03/17/2022 - 1:32pm

I'm so curious who is she going with?  What is it for?  Ehh she'll be 16 soon enough she can start working and save up for that grand vacation.

halo1998's picture

Submitted by halo1998 on Thu, 03/17/2022 - 1:55pm

that she just expects it.  I would have never have asked my parents, especially if my parent was unemployed.

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Thu, 03/17/2022 - 2:27pm

If she wants to go on vacation, not a need ,  Let her figure out how to pay for it. Just say, Not my  problem.  If I had $4000  to burn I would go on vacation myself 

halo1998's picture

Submitted by halo1998 on Fri, 03/18/2022 - 6:24am

and yea if we had $4000 we would be going on vacation.  

DH just told her the other night he would discuss it when she is here today.   The answer will be no and she is welcome to save to go. SD is just way used to asking us for the things that she needs/wants.  However, I think at 16 you are old enough to realize if your parent is out of work....you don't ask for a very expensive vacation for yourself.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Fri, 03/18/2022 - 6:34am

uh..... I would have said no right then and there on the phone.  Right now, he is setting himself up for a crappy visit.. because she thinks that she is going to get to go.

I think NO's should be fast! no sense drawing things out!

halo1998's picture

Submitted by halo1998 on Fri, 03/18/2022 - 10:03am

he wasn't about to get into over text while she was at Beaver's.  He will just tell her no tonight.

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Thu, 03/17/2022 - 3:28pm

I have a daughter who was like that. She had limited means - pocket money, gifted money - so she explored the world of second hand clothes. I bought her cheap but pretty clothes with the occasional exception for Xmas or birthdays (Doc Martens, for instance, that she wore for 4-5 years before selling them). The choice was hers but selling old clothes financed her desire for what she considered "better" items. She wanted stuff, she found the way to get it... legally.

halo1998's picture

Submitted by halo1998 on Fri, 03/18/2022 - 6:28am

DD and I big thrifters and will be second hand always first.  We also believe in buying some things that are more expensive but good quality.  Ie..boots that last years..not months, etc

SD on the other hand things second hand clothes are beneath her because that is what Beaver thinks and has taught that only NEW is best.  

SD will also not sell her clothes...because and I quote..."that is for poor people...I'm not poor"  

DH did set her straight on that one. ..he told her..YES YOU ARE POOR..I have money..Halo has money..you do not have money.  Do not confuse mine and Halo's good fortune that we work for as being YOUR good fortune.

But again, Beaver has taught her that anything second hand or selling to second hand stores is beneath her.

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Fri, 03/18/2022 - 6:46am

DD was smart enough to realize that second-hand doesn't mean shabby (she's big on good quality too) ... and that you can get fabulous bargains on things that you crave (in her case, the first craving was a Lacoste bag). From what I hear, most of her friends do the same thing, mainly online. I suspect it's motivated by the current trend of "think of the planet" rather than thriftiness but either way I approve.

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Thu, 03/17/2022 - 4:02pm

The entitlement is amazing.  My skids are too young for $$$$ school trips, but they're in training, since DH buys them something they ask for every single time they're in Walmart. It's usually stuff they don't need - I swear they just like buying stuff.  I suspect it's even worse at BM's house, because the Golden Goose (BM's hubby) makes a ton of money and is more than happy to spend it on the skids, so they can afford a lot more than we can. 

Good for you and your DH for saying no. I'll bet SD didn't even waste her breath asking Beaver. 

halo1998's picture

Submitted by halo1998 on Fri, 03/18/2022 - 6:29am

after all Beaver is poooorrrr singgllllee mooottthhherrr..that is has a deadbeat ex because he won't fund the lifestyle she would like for the rest of her life.

So nope..didn't even bother.

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Submitted by TheAccidentalSM on Fri, 03/18/2022 - 4:53am

What a silly girl!

On the clothes thing, when I was her age I had a clothes allowance to cover all my clothing.  I could spend it on whatever clothes I wanted over the period (think it was per school terms from memory) but once the money was gone, it was gone and there would be no point in going and asking for additional clothes from parents.  It taught me really quickly not to buy the most fashionalbe items that wouldn't be wearable more than once.

halo1998's picture

Submitted by halo1998 on Fri, 03/18/2022 - 6:34am

at the beginning of the school year.  By month 2..she didn't "like" them anymore so suddenly they didn't "fit" right.  When that didn't work..then she just tried to put the clothes in the charity bag so she could say she didn't have any clothes to wear.  I fished them out...and she doubled down on them not fitting.  We made her try them on..and yes they fit.  She then had to admit..they didn't fit her asthestic anymore.  (yes she said this).  DH's comment was....well I don't know about your "asthestic" but they fit your @ss so  your not getting new ones.

She recently got Beaver to buy her some clothes from a cheap chinese online website......and SD wore them once..and now those "clothes" don't fit...aka SD has decided she wants a different look.

SD is also under the delusion that you get new clothes every season.  MM...that was true when she was little but that was because she was growing..SD is not growing and really doesn't need a whole new wardrobe every 3 to 4 months.