Distressing (and expected) news
If you read my post back in June, you will see that SD is expecting and the background behind it. She is a VERY high-risk patient. The first nearly killed her and the fetus didn't survive. The second almost did kill her AND the baby wound up in NICU for months and has physical and developmental challenges. This is her third. All her pregnancies were calculated and significantly medically-assisted despite her high-risk. BM (by way of family money) helps SD financially with all this, as SD could not afford it otherwise.
Well, no surprise she contacts SO and lets him know she is now hospitalized. The baby may have to be delivered early to save SD's life and they are hoping they can hold off long enough for baby to have a better outcome.
I am so speechless by all of this I just can't even comprehend it anymore. Of course my SO is beyond worried, once again, and TBH I really don't have much to say to him other than "I am hoping and praying for a good outcome."
Over the years, I've read so many stories and nightmare scenarios about skids but I honestly don't even know how to respond to this situation, other than to remain disengaged and when needed express a brief "Best wishes." So often people think it all ends when skids are 18 but it doesn't.
This goes to show that when they are young, skids bring small heartaches but when they get older, they can often bring much more serious and lifelong heartaches.
This is the epitome of
This is the epitome of selfish behavior.
SD is knowingly causing harm to her children... before they even exist!
Agree.
I honestly think it may not just be selfish but is some kind of psychosis. She has zero empathy for the innocent children she is bringing into the world. I am also disturbed by the medical "profe$$ionals" who know her history and assisted in this.
Wowza
Do you think a part of SD does this for the attention? Im bad for saying this but dang with all the posts on here as of late some SD's could scare the devil.
Blessings. I do hope SD and the baby will be ok and in good health. BUT Dang attention seeking knowing the strong possibility of the outcome, comes to mind.
It's hard to have sympathy
It's hard to have sympathy when the expected consequences of someone's poor choices arrive but hope the baby will be ok.
The lady I know who is similar, I mentioned her in your last post, couple months ago her employee needed to go to the routine anatomy scan for his wife's first pregnancy and this woman is had the nerve to refuse to let him have the time off. He said "but your husband was at all your scans and you had them every week" and her response was "it's different my babies are *special*"
The nerve. I do think it's a psychosis, like narcissistic Munchausen's or something like that.
I don't understand why BM,
I don't understand why BM, knowing that she's putting her daughter (and future grandchild) at risk by facilitating a pregnancy, finances this. Better to use the money to help SD adopt another child. I hope they have a good outcome.
Better to use the money for
Better to use the money for therapy for SD. Adopting a child to fill an emotional void is like putting a bandaid on a cancer. Cures nothing in the long run. Just passes the trauma onto an innocent child.
SD has one adopted child, too!
That's the child they got at 3 days old and then SD went back to work 3 days later. So - a baby not even a week old and she was back at work.
I seem to recall there is some sort of psychological syndrome where women enjoy being pregnant (and the attention that comes with it) and yet when they actually have the children, they have zero interest in them. Not being a psych, I'm not well-versed on what it is called.
This seems to be a pattern in SD's life - the ACQUISITION. She did this with pets/animals, too. Just had to have a "designer puppy" and drove 3 states away to pick it up. She met the breeder at a rest area and paid an incredible amount of money for it. I am quite certain it was a puppy mill type of situation and certainly nothing a reputable breeder would agree too. Within months, SD was completely disinterested in dog and BM wound up keeping it.
Did the same thing with the pets she and DH currently have. Just HAD to have them and then she wound up keeping them in kennels in an empty room for most of the day.
Now its children. God only knows what the day to day life is like in that house. I am glad to be far away and disengaged...
QUality parents would sacrifice themselves for their children.
This one sacrifices her children for her need to breed.
smh
I can only suppose she has
I can only suppose she has what I call the "seatbelt syndrome" - other people have accidents but I don't so I don't need to wear my seatbelt. She has survived two pregnancies and, rather than thinking how lucky she's been so far and to not push her luck any further, she things that, well, she's survived two therefore she's bulletproof, totally indestructible.
Very valid points by all.
I must say I hadn't given much thought about BM's financially enabling all this before but I think it's indicative of her own selfish and narcissistic behavior. BM was spoiled and coddled by her parents and given everything she ever wanted so it stands to reason BM would also do anything to get her own mini-me (SD) anything SHE wants.
Winterglow has a good point, too, with the "seatbelt syndrome." People who are self-absorbed don't consider they can indeed go through the windshield.
"Seatbelt syndrome" or something else, I do wonder what kind of psychosis this is because there is definitely a psychosis here. When SD adopted her newborn she went back to work 3 days after bringing child home from the hospital. 3 days!!! By law she gets 12 WEEKS off. Who does that??!! I can't imagine having a 3 day old infant and going back to work when I can financially afford to stay home.
I think both SD and BM have some kind of mental disorder where they MUST get EXACTLY what they want even though they don't care about the consequences nor responsibilities that go along with those desires.
Just wondering
what does your husband say about all this? Our kids (skids) are adults and make their own choices...some horrible. It sounds like your SD has some sort of mental condition...I'm not a psychologist so I won't throw terms around. God Bless/help these poor innocent babies this 'mother' is bringing into the world. ALL you can do as the SM is wish them the best of luck and pray for those poor babies....it sounds like your SD gets her rocks off on having health issues.
He is in complete denial.
He is afraid to confront her with any kind of criticism as he knows he will hear even less from her than her currently does. SD does NOT take any advice, suggestions or criticism from him. At all.
He says he "doesn't want to judge" her and like you say, they get to make their own choices, but I honestly have to bite my tongue because if she was making decisions about herself that's one thing - to risk innocent children is entirely another.