Competitive StepKids Trying To Stake Their Claim......
*I guess I'm writing these posts to eliminate guilt and remind myself why I'm proceeding with the exit plans
So one major thing that pisses me off about this dudes kids is how (probably at the orders of their c*nt mother or hell maybe at the mercy of their weak boundaried father) they think it's appropriate to have their artifacts and other items sprawled all over this house.
Now I don't mind them leaving items in their room but to try and plant their possessions all over this house is just starting to make me think these kids are passive aggressively trying to stake their claim to a house that they pay not one bill in, do not one chore in, and contribute nothing. His daughter is the worst offender.
- Son left his tennis shoes in the living room (the milisecond he waltzed up out of here, I used gloved hands to chuck those ratty looking shoes right back into his room)
- His daughter leaving clothes, scrunchies, socks, and more (often times he has to make multiple trips to return items to her)
- On Father's day, his daughter left some hideous looking chicken scratch drawing on a massive poster that is now hanging in 'our' bedroom (I have no clue how to get rid of it without him getting offended).
I usually move these artifacts tuck the items in a plastic bag then into the closet but some of it (like raggedy socks n sh*t) gets thrown in the dumpster.
I am perturbed he's just letting that crap linger in the bedroom. Last thing I want to see in what is supposed to be my sanctuary is those kids artifacts littered all over my personal space.
Thank goodness dude isn't hanging life-sized fathead portraits of his kids cause I would definitely draw the line there. Not trying to see those needy, clingy, demanding passive-aggressive kids in any form until the required weekends.
Whatever. That low-life ex-wife of his and those spawns can have this house back to use as her 24/7 on demand respite from her own kids she chose to have, soon enough she can have this dude back.......heck, I'd totally pack up his zit cream, rogain, protein powders, and his B*tch, Beck, and Call mobile pinging device and send him back to her right now on the first Uber that arrives.
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Comments
Do you think he is trying to
Do you think he is trying to drive you out with the feral behaviors of the skids?
I definitely think his ex
I definitely think his ex-wife is trying to drive me out (probably those kids too because they're not used to something called structure). She wants to be able to dump those kids off 24/7 on demand (and when he was single I think he used to just comply)
I did think to myself that maybe he was the mastermind behind all of the feral skid behavior....He could chose to shut it all down but he doesn't.
I remember when we first moved in together and shortly after his ex-Tasmainain Devil touched down, I saw them run their 24 hour B*tch Beck and Call service while he gleefully dropped everything to come running all over the city at their demands.
Needless to say I was disgusted.
And it was that moment that I realized if I married him/had a kid with him, I would basically be a married single mother. They have this fool on-call, running all over town (during what is supposed to be HER parenting times), wasting all kinds of money, to the point he seemed too drained by them to have any resources for a new wife/family.
I just pictured a miserable life with him if he refused to wake up, set some boundaries, resolve his guilt, increase his income, cooperate more with me, and be the man that I need so when he rolled over and said 'we need to get married' .... I tried to tell him why I didn't think it was a good idea at the current time
I think that hit his ego.
He is so delusional thinking that his dysfunctional co-dependendent relationship with his kids/ex-wife is normal
I have noticed when he realized marrige/baby with him was off the table for me, he started acting more passive aggressive - using his kids as manipulation tools "Well if she isn't giving me the love/admiration/attention/marriage I want then I'll just let these kids annoy tf ouf of her until she gives up and leaves"
^Yes.
^Yes.
I think he's trying to prove a point that his kids have a right to be at this house, that its their space too, and getting me used to the idea of his son especially being here full-time IF he ever decided to take action on it.
"Like hey except my kids running this household/my ex-wife running the 24/7 mobile BBC servce, and dont expect me to change for the better, accept our dysfunction (which I think is normal) or you can leave."
What I do is I take an old
What I do is I take an old shoebox and put stuff from the kids in there but they have not given anything to their father in years thankfully so that ship has sailed. The box with ugly drawings and pictures of the children with ex BM1 and BM2 sit in the closet at the bottom
We recently decided to do a family wall. I put pictures of me, my parents, my dogs...I thought he would do the same but instead he put a million pics of all his children....Now I have to stare at it in my living room and hallway....I hate this shit
Put the fathers day drawing in a "memory box" and put it in his closet
Heh heh
Chef's momento box sits in on the 2nd floor of the unheated/un air conditioned garage. I don't even think he's aware of it.
You could accidentally spray it with spray cleaner/endust/furniture polish during routine housekeeping...whoops! Probably looks like a Jackson Pollack anyway.
I hate it but not as much as
I hate it but not as much as the pictures on the wall! I accidentally smashed it a few times during move out lol
More important
Dis you put a stop to him being Mr Uber. At BF beckon call. Kids are scheduled for coming over? He understands he's divorced! You are head b* t. Or is he still playing Disneeey Dad
See that's the problem. I don
See that's the problem. I don't think he understands he's divorced.
I get not wanting your kids to be negatively impacted in a divorce but the divorce was mfing 5+ years ago, those kids are just fine (if anything kids are typically more resilient than stubborn adults), and once your decide to start a new life with another partner then everyone has to adapt.
What makes him think I gotta adapt to him and those kids and some manipulative ex-wife but those kids get to come and be feral just so he can 'spare' them from imaginary suffering from divorce that was so fn long ago they probably dont even remember.
Yeah the spawns are here.......Joy! (in my sarcastic voice)
I'm pretty sure you voiced a
I'm pretty sure you voiced a desire to have a clean home at one point or that you seaid you expected them to pick up after themselves (if they don't pick up after themselves then why isn't your DuH doing it?). If so, they are just letting you know that you and your wishes are of absolutely no interest to them whatsoever. They will not comply and to prove their point, they leaave their crap all over the place, marking their territory in much the same way as a tomcat does. You are simply a feature in their father's home, no more.
Your DuH had no business even entertaining the notion of marriage with you seeing as he is still "married" to his ex.
Yes I made my viewpoint on
Yes I made my viewpoint on cleanliness/household contribution/responsiblity/rules/etc right after those skids moved back in town, but he ignored
He will clean after them....
I usually have to ask him and 70% of the time he will do it but then complains/shuffles his feet when I need him to do other tasks around the house
So while I'm glad he mostly will clean after them (except the bathrooms where I really have to battle him/his kids to clean because I hate feeling like I'm their free their janitor) I don't like him being too tired to do other tasks (like change lightbulbs, take out trash, kill bugs, etc) because he wasted his energy coddling able bodied skids.
Plus he's not teaching them how to be responsible for themselves. If he only had every weekend to impart life lessons/responsibility on his kids and he refuses/goes into disney dad mode then why would he do a disservice to his kids like this?
When you leave gift him a
When you leave gift him a doghouse to put in BM's backyard and live in
(No subject)
I had a simple rule. Anything
I had a simple rule. Anything left out 24 hours or left out when they left was fair game for me to decide what to do with it. So I tossed, donated, or put into storage at will. No questions.
Ooh I do this too. Subtly
Ooh I do this too. Subtly haha. SD brought over a moisturiser once from BMs and it was a cheap one that was very pungent and smelled very strong of a musky floral scent. It was seriously so over powering. I could smell her from ages away. When I washed her clothes I can still smell it! It gave me headaches. So I binned it when she left it behind on my ottoman haha. She hasn't even noticed.
(No subject)
Bag it and tag it.
Anything they leave lying around. 50Gal garbage bag, put a tag on their individual bag, and drop all of their crap in their bag. They can grab their bag when they leave. As for the chicken scratch FD drawing, that has no business being in YOUR bedroom. Have daddy take it to his office.
We never had kid art in our bedroom. On the fridge, sure. But not in our bedroom.