His miniwife is also his political guru? That's a new Barf Award. Because young girls are known for their superior grasps of world events. Right? Also, if he can be easily swayed from one "side" to the other by TikTok videos, he isn't looking like the sharpest tool. 

I realize you didn't ask for advice, but he has no business discussing anything about you with his daughter. If I were you, I would keave the politics aside, but make it clear to him that you will not tolerate him talking to her about you. That is so disrespectful!

He shouldn't be using you as an example of the wrong way to think or believe. That is a betrayal. He's supposed to be loyal to you - not throw you under the bus to someone who isn't kind to you.

I lean conservative. My partner leans very very very liberal. He would gladly admit he's a socialist.

I'm also a Christian, though not really signing onto any one church denomination. He's an atheist/agnostic.

My beliefs bother him a LOT more than his beliefs bother me, and I have often felt like he treated ME as a proxy for ALL the people he considers conservative.

I am conservative, but I'm most likely moderate. I'm not an extremist, but he has a habit of lumping anyone who is right of his beliefs as the MOST extreme and obnoxious element of the conservative spectrum. And it pisses me off. I'm not extreme in the least nor am I the spokesperson or posterchild for extremists. Because I am his primary social connection and he's starved for people to debate with, I think he likes to pick arguments with me to flex his debating skills. I'm not interested. I have an open mind and I don't mind getting input on tough subjects, but I don't like being badgered as if I'm the head of the Republican Party. I'm a Libertarian/Independent, so grrrr.

I do not understand why people get so wound up about this stuff and let it cause problems in relationships.

Are part of one's core values, regardless of which way you lean.  I think our current environment focuses on division not commonality, we don't hear each other any more and increasingly people aren't interested in trying to listen to different options. Fact free social media like tik took or X and mainstream media that all seems to be biased one way or another don't help.  People want to get their info on 10 second bites, don't want to research issues and seem to be increasingly incapable of critical thinking.  I am really worried abt the coming impact of AI because it will be impossible to distinguish real images from fake.

I am sorry you are in this situation. I had to take a big step back frm my stepkids because their beliefs of have become the polar opposite of mine.  I won't tolerate hate and intolerance in my home.  My stepdaughter likes to poke and start arguments just for fun I think.  I got tired of being accused of being part of the deep state so now have very little contact with her.  Unfortunately you can't disengage frm your DH.  I could not stay married to my DH if his beliefs were starkly different than mine. But that is me I would never suggest that to anyone else.

So, become the expert on politics.  Enroll in an online Poli Sci degree program and start baring SD and DH's idiot asses as you actually become the expert.  (Poli Sci was one of the 6 undergrad majors I declared but did not complete.  It is an interest of mine though I am no expert.)

Religion, money, and politics are the third rails in many marriages, friensdships and famlies.  Sadly idiot StepSpawn are the most frequent death knell/3rd rail in second/subsequent marriages.

I have my positions on the third rail topics. They are informed and I can explain them.  In general, I am a fiscal conservative and a social libertarian.  The Gov't should not spend money it does not have and the Gov't and everyone else should stay out of people's personal lives, decisions, and beliefs.  As long as those decisions and beliefs do not adversely impact the lives, decisions, and beliefs of others.

If I were on the Presidential ticket my platform would be short and sweet.  Government should be limited to 1. Enforcing the laws of the land.  2. Providing for the common defence.  3. Fostering/defending national interests in the international community.  4. Creating and maintaining critical National infrastructure. 5. Leading critical research that is in the best interests of the Nation (NASA, DARPA, CDC, etc...)  6. Providing basic  (Note: The BASIC part) support for those physically or intellectually incapable of providing for themselves (Note: I did not say we should support those "not willing" to provide for themselves.)

In short, maintaining the environment that fosters the rights of life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness and the pursuit of opportunity.

Individuals have to be accountable for providing for themselves and their families.  It is not the responsibility of the broader base of tax payers to support those unwilling to do so. PERIOD. DOT.

On money, I keep what is mine, you keep what is yours, the Gov't should have no choice but to maintain a balanced budget, and needs to be whittled down by about 60% as far as staff is concerned.  The taxes paid by the people, are the people's money and the Gov't (Local/State/National) should be held to being diligent stewards of that money.

On religion, I have my beliefs.  That is it.  The beliefs of others are up to them. I respect those beliefs as long as those beliefs do not interfere in how others live their beliefs.  Stay out of my spirituality, I will stay out of yours.  I have absolute respect for the world's religions and their related beliefs. Until.... they put on the mantle of extremism or in any way support extremists. Even then, my issue is not with the religious beliefs, my issue is with the choices of individuals within those religions.

On most things, DW and I are in the same book.  Though rarely on the same page and almost never on the same paragraph.  We can talk about it all, debate, discuss, and often agree to disagree. Though not on the fundimentals.

I am a facts are neither good nor bad, they are merely facts guy.  I then use the facts as the foundation and framework of my position/opinions on a topic.  It works for me.  Any tension usually comes in when I am standing on the facts and discussing those facts rather than feelings someone may have regardng the facts. 

As for the SParent specific 3rd rail. If the spawn are well behaved and reasonable, I will happily engage with them reasonably. If they are not.... then I am their worst nightmare and the worst nighmare of their failed parent(s).

KISS.  Works for me.

Be reasonable, I will treat you reasonably.  Either way you choose, that.. is entirely on you. Or in the words of the world renowned Bar Bouncer Dalton (Road House), "Be nice. Until it is time to not be nice."

if he ever pulled this crap on me and especially with his kids. Even with his friends. Your DH is violating all kinds of boundaries by having these types of discussion with his daughter. Today, I follow a strict policy..I don't discuss politics or religion with people who want to be combative and not open to hearing other sides. I am registered NO PARTY. I fall more into the Libertarian catagory....financially conservative and liberal in social issues. And I follow Christianity as my faith.  I'm all about learning from others but I am NOT going to "fight" and "argue" about someone's stance on a subject.

I would not stand by and let this continue. Your DH needs to know how this is affecting his relationship with you and it needs to STOP. I am furious for you. Everyone has the right to their beliefs and as a spouse, he is being a total asshole jerk for behaving as such towards you. 

SD found her key to unlock the drama and bond with dear old dad.  Now he's badmouthing you and your thoughts to her.  What a skid win!  Every skid's dream!   
 

I'd cut the man off and remind him who his wife is.  I think this is more about SD and getting that attention from her than politics.  Although I totally get the high level of annoyance with him.  

Oh, this is awful. Like you say, not because people aren't allowed to disagree, but because it's not even about the politics IMO; it's about her control. One of the big issues with DH's ex and skids way back was that they as a one-time unit believed they all needed to march in lockstep. . . forever: They were to say the same words (repeating "AWESOME" ad nauseum was one; now it's "journey". . . everything is a freaking journey); have the same spiritual beliefs (theirs are fanatical); like the same sports teams; and, yes, have the exact same (conspiratorial) political views. No one is "allowed" to think differently (SS does now, but pretends around his mommy and sis). As DH more vocally pulled away from all of their rules, that was blamed on me. Suddenly, I was controlling him (a bit of projection there, right?) and he was rejecting them. Ludicrous! 

As has been mentioned, your husband needs to set some boundaries with "mini-wife." And he needs to be de-programmed, although I'm not sure how one goes about doing that. Good luck. 

Nothing wrong with differing political views. It can be healthy with thoughtful discussion. The problem comes when the belittling, name calling, and badmouthing starts. Unfortunately that is too common in the current climate.

What you have is a mini-wife. She and your DH are "bonding" by engaging in this cruelty, setting up a them-against-you situation. Is that how someone who supposedly loves you acts?

I'm appalled that he thinks it's ok, for any reason, to speak unkindly about his wife.