BM called SS14 crying
So DH gets an email from the swim club that SS14'S account is over $1000 in arrears and he's not allowed to enter the pool. At this point DH had already dropped him off and when he went to check on him he saw he was in the pool. He didn't say anything to SS14 about it, just told BM to pay.
Well BM called SS14 the next day crying about how sorry she was and telling him she owed $15,000 to the swim club blah blah blah. SS14 came to tell me and he was very upset.
So now it's today. BM is ignoring DH and hasn't updated him about SS14's status in the swim club and he's supposed to have swimming tonight.
Not only that he's supposed to be in a swim meet this weekend and we cancelled plans to go to my mom's for her birthday so we could take him.
Just frustrated and venting, thanks for reading guys.
- 1dad6kids's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Poor kid. I hope you can find
Poor kid. I hope you can find a way to visit your mom still.
My sister bought tickets to
My sister bought tickets to an event for her birthday now and k had to decline. So I wouldn't get to visit with her even if I did go
I'd be contacting the swim
I'd be contacting the swim club directly. If BM hasn't paid up, then you continue with your plans and swimming is off until the balance is resolved. I'm sure BM is hoping DH will bail her out and pay the $1000 since swimming is "sooo important" to SS.
DH did end up emailing the
DH did end up emailing the swim club and they confirmed SS14 can't be in the water or at swim meets anymore
Wait, is she $15,000 past due
Wait, is she $15,000 past due?! Hoping that's a typo, but even $1500 is crazy to me that they let it get to that point without cutting him off sooner. Poor kid!
Ikr. Why they let her accrue
Ikr. Why they let her accrue 1k+ tab is insane.
They hassle like hell if ONE month of fees is missed over here.
It really is, that
It really is, that essentially means she hasn't paid at all except for registration. Even if she had just been taking the money DH gives her and not paying her share she would only be $300 in arrears.
She's really screwing over SS14
She's $1500 but said $15,000
She's $1500 but said $15,000 to SS14 to freak him out. I let him know the monthly dues would take 7 years to accrue to talk amount
Great job making sure the
Great job making sure the SKid knows that BM is a lying POS, has stolen the money his dad provided for the swim club, and and is trying to get the skid to rip dad off for $15,000.
She is drowning herself. Put you foot on her head and shove her head under until the bubbles stop. Figuratively of course. While making sure the SKid is fully presented with the truth and facts. Her PASing crap needs to be turned on her and countered with those facts. Then SKid needs those facts.
Sounds like BM is trying to
Sounds like BM is trying to use the Skid to guilt money out of daddy. And she is lying about the amount she is spouting to the SKid.
As for your side paying a Cent. Not just no, but F-NO!!!!!!
I would use this to bare BM ass big time if I were you and DH.
Make sure the Skid knows that dad has paid a shit ton of money to BM in CS, etc.. for this kind of thing and BM needs to fix it.
If I recall correctly OP's DH
If I recall correctly OP's DH was ordered to pay BM a portion for swimming fees. It couldn't be paid to the swim club directly, had to be paid directly to BM. Well, clearly that's working so well. BM is just treating the swim club money as an extra CS bonus.
Dirt bags never change.
No is no. This is entirely on BM and she should have to experience being rode hard and put up wet over it while the 14yo is given clarity that it is entirely on mommy who stole the money daddy gave BM for the swimming club.
Lather... rinse.... repeat.
Yep
Girhippo also would get extracurriculars, braces, etc., counted in as extra CS on top of the base CS. Ridiculous. Fathers should NEVER agree to pay their half off ANYTHING directly to the BM. Nor should it be "rolled in" to base CS where there is also no accountability nor trackability. Most HCGUBMs are TERRIBLE with money and only want to spend on themselves.
DH pays through maintenance
DH pays through maintenance enforcement. Our CO requires BM to give proof of payment when. Requesting money but MEO is apparently above the law
I would definitely make a
I would definitely make a record of this situation.. and perhaps see if there was a way to get the order amended.. so that pmt could be made directly.
The only problem is BM would probably still be in arrears.. at least her half anyway. tough for a kid.. how embarassing.
Yes DH has to pay BM through
Yes DH has to pay BM through maintenance enforcement. And he had to pay her all for last season too, even though he registered SS14 under his name. So BM has been paid for an entire season she didn't pay for, and still accrued arrears...
Yep I clarified 3 times. He
Yep I clarified 3 times. He said he's sure she said $15,000.
What BM doesn't know is that SS14 doesn't tell DH this stuff, he tells me. So DH usually hears from me, and I've cleared up any nonsense on the way to DH's ears.
I told SS14 that we pay her every month for swim club and he looked at me as if he'd just heard the exact opposite of that.
Keep spoonfeeding SS the
Keep spoonfeeding SS the facts. Never stop. He needs to live how big a POS his mommy is.
THIS!!!
Chef never set things straight with OSS who was told by the Gir that he was a "deadbeat dad" (TM). To this day I believe they think that Chef never paid a cent of CS.
Of course the Gir's BM told the same lie herself.
if DH was ordered, by the
if DH was ordered, by the court, to pay extra $$ to BM specifically for swimming Ihope he labeled the payments as such so there's a trail of who owes it to the club.
If you do feel sorry for the
If you do feel sorry for the kid, maybe offer to pay the 1k but now you all have some leverage to make demands that she has no choice but to agree too.
After consulting with a lawyer, Let her know you will be paying your portion directly to swim team and hell seek a DOWNWARD modification (plus more custody) since she can't handle the money you are giving her.
That's messed up she knew this would upset him and she dropped the ball. She better do like that other SD and start making some bologna sandwiches!
Definitely ask a lawyer what leverage you have to negotiate the terms of court order parenting agreement IF you all decide to clear this debt so son can get back to swim
That sounds like grounds to
That sounds like grounds to go back to court and allege (truthfully) that BM is unable to manage the money he gives her and cut out the "extras" going straight to her.
What is your feelings about swimming?
If you think this is a good thing and cab afford the $1,000 to $1500. Then pay it. If you can't you can't you didn't start this.
We had a similar issue like
We had a similar issue like this with Spawn after Meth Mouth didn’t pay her dance account. DH gave Meth Mouth the money each month, she just never paid the bill, instead used that money for her arm and nose candy. Once DH got custody and found out, he tried to talk to the owner, who was understanding, but still needed to get paid. DH had to end up taking Spawn out of dance, it sucked but we weren’t going to keep paying Meth Mouth’s debts that we had already paid on. A few years later we were able to sign Spawn up again at the same studio and the owner did not press us for the past payment. Sorry your SS14 is going through this, it sucks when the parents turn to drugs.
Not activity related, however
Not activity related, however, we made sure to leave SpermGrandHag stranded with SS and his three younger Spermidiot spawned half sibs by two other baby mamas on several occassions. After she had stolen SS's travel money several times we stopped giving him cash and started loading and unloading a zero balance debit card account when he traveled. The Hag forced him to pull out his card to pay for gas, restaurants, activities only to have the card rejected leaving the Hag completely bare assed and embarrassed. SS and his sibs were usually goofing off together and were not overly impacted by the long wait for SpermGrandPa to come pay the bill before the Hag and the kids could leave.
We learned to make damned sure that there was zero access to a single Cent for the SpermClan to snake from SS. Their visitation, they pay for it.
If the NCP has paid the CP, vector collections to the CP. Never pay off the CP's debt even when they cry that it is hurting the Skids. Ever. Explain it to the Skids, show them the canceled checks/deposits/bills/etc and tell them to ask the CP since the NCP has already given that money to the CP.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Yes! She was in arrears for
Yes! She was in arrears for swim club last year so DH signed SS14 up under his name. But she never paid him a cent and she should have been paying 40% each month. DH just kinda said "too bad" this time around