Driving Husband insane...aka Drivers License hijinx
Just for amusement's sake I thought Id post about the latest and greatest concerning Powersulk SD172monthsfrom18.
Just to get things straight right away - Im definitely not relishing this in any way...Ill repeat that at the end, if you get that far.
So, last week PS was at Toxic Trolls house, and for some reason NOW is the time she decided she can get her permit. Probably because she wants a job. Just a guess.
TT and PS go to DMV. Too late, they are closed. They make an appointment.
TT and PS go to appointment, but miss it because, something, make another appointment.
I advise husband to tell TT "ok its my turn, Ill take her", and since its on his week anyway, I mentioned he can enjoy his proud poppa moment, take her to congratulatory lunch, do some driving practice. He would have to take PTO half day to do this.
TT and PS go to a third try. TT got off work too late (hey! shes working!) Miss 3rd appointment. Husband mentions that he doesnt get his PTO for 2024 until after April 15th. Ok, should have mentioned it before, but Im disengaged, so I dont really have investment. Just trying to be supportive. Hes more worried about his $50.00 he contributed.
Fourth try at taking test! Yay, test taken! Test failed.
In his more lucid moments, his big frame actually sagged with sadness. This is a car guy. He fixes cars for a living. She could be driving a freaking BMW or Mercedes!!!!! I felt so bad, Steppers. There are no words really. All I could really say was "Im really really sorry." I did ask "whens the redo scheduled?" but will not follow up.
Oddly, Powersulk had and attitude with me...
To reiterate - Im really really sorry this happened - for all of us. I did not expect this to happen, oddly, not even with knowing her lazyness and never having to deal with repercussions for anything...I definitely am not relishing this, and "I told you so" never entered my mind. Im just hoping that husband will rally and push her to study and practice and go back again...the $ be darned. Especially with graduation around the corner and paying for that whole cap and gown package, I know its tight, but this is VITAL.
Question - should I mention anything or just pretend it didnt happen?
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To be Fair
To be fair - I went online to see about printing a booklett for her to study. And found practice tests. I passed each one, but there were a few toughies that I missed. But you can miss 3/10, so theres that.
So, no printing of booklette even?
No - do not print the booklets, do not get involved!
No - do not print the booklets, do not get involved! There is no way in the world, that if you get involved in this - in any way - that it will end well for you. Somehow, someway, it will go wrong. They will think you are pushy or they will think you gave her the wrong info. Please, for your sake, just let this go.
please don't do the leg work
please don't do the leg work for them. it will not end well. no one will thank you.
No INTERFERING, CLove. TT
No INTERFERING, CLove. TT needs to learn these kind of lessons.
Clove Stay DISENGAGED
Do not print the booklet.
Somehow someway PS will turn it on you. You already said she has an attitude with you for some unknown reason. So please dont. I know you are a kind and caring person, the fixer. No more not your problemo.
I know this is hard for you because your nature is the opposite of PS , DH, and family.
Its nice that you showed DH you felt bad cause you did. From here on go mute.
Blessings lovely lady. You really are too good for these people. Regardless I am here to support you.
It was said with
When I mentioned her little "attitude", It was said with a nod and a wink (netflix password changed without warning)
Thank you for blessings and backatcha!
IS it vital?? My husband didn
IS it vital?? My husband didn't get his lisence until his mid to late 30's. By all counts, other than two failed marriages and a toxic ex/BM-to-his-daughter, he was/is successful. Public transport plus the ease of Uber etc these days should mean that most locations are accessible without driving yourself. It will cost, but so does car ownership.
If she doesn't get a lisence she'll work it out.
You re-engaged. Drop it like
You re-engaged. Drop it like a hot rock. Don't "advise husband" of anything. Don't offer to do one single thing. Do not mention it again. Leave it all to husband and Powersulk. If they bring it up, keep your replies neutral. "Okay." "Mmhmm." "I see." Then change the subject.
When (if) she passes and gets her DL, "That's nice" is a good enough response. Refrain from getting excited and, above all, DO NOT offer to take her anywhere to celebrate or give a millisecond of your time planning a nice meal or a blank card to offer congratulations. Stick with "That's nice" or "how nice for you".
No high fives all around?
wooof. hmmm niiiiiiiice, ok Ill practice that
Don't drag it out or sound
Don't drag it out or sound super positive. Say it like husband just told you the weather is pleasant or he caught an average-sized fish... *biggrin*
Agreed... just ignore any and
Agreed... just ignore any and everythning to do with your almost 18 yo SD. stop giving your SO advice about anything to do with her.
Sure.. he should probably do something.. but he won't.. because he never learned how to.. because you have done everything for him for so long... he has learned incompetence.
if you find yourself tempted,
if you find yourself tempted, pinch yourself.
Just say no
Tell yourself "no" when you are tempted to do anything or say anything. On the plus side, she now wants to get her license whereas in the past, she showed no interest. Take it from me as SM to 5 who were teenagers at the same time: when they want to do something, they will.
My 15 year old got her permit this week
Mind you I 'm in Florida but the test is taken online or at DHSMV before hand and you take your certificate to there with your documentation and give you the restricted license which we call a permit. But it was a simple road sign test.
I concur with the rest here.
I concur with the rest here. Not your problem. If you try to help in any way you will get nothing but abuse heaped on you. Let PS and her parents figure it out. My daughter was able to download a drivers license manual and passed the test her first try. If PS wants it bad enough she'll figure it out. Even if she doesn't, not your problem.
No worries. I'll say it!
No worries. I'll say it!
"Told ya so, Powersulk....Take that!"
Just kidding lol
Good thing your husband didn't waste his PTO, gas, and time ... once she's serious and more prepared to pass the test then it would be better to help imo
Cough cough
ahem.
That's a hoot. I had a short
That's a hoot. I had a short consulting gig in Qatar and it surprises me to learn there are driving schools and driving tests. I had a driver, and I either closed my eyes to "nap" or looked down at my laptop to "work."
Too Funny, Rags!
Last January, I had to redo the driving test due to vision problems. Forty years after the first time, and I approached it as a fun adventure. I also did it in a Dodge 3500 quad cab (last time was in a Ford Pinto!). The woman who administered the test was very nice, and we even shared a laugh when another driver blew threw a stop sign right in front of me. But being me, I overprepared by studying for the written exam - just in case.
Do nothing! My SD now 21 did
Do nothing! My SD now 21 did not want to get her permit/license (still doesn't drive either). When I tried to push/motivate/print out the booklet, it ended very badly for me. And from what you write about here, I imagine it would end badly for you also. Say and do nothing.
I think that information is on line at local DMV
I remember it wa a book. Study that book more then school work. She 17 ,has friends. She up to speed with driver's licenses more then you. Has to be a topic of conversation at school. Stay disengage
My YSD18 put off all things
My YSD18 put off all things driving for a year, finally BM was the one to push her to do it, one thing I agreed with her on. DH did NOT care if she drove or not and in fact, supported her NOT driving, which yes, I argued with him about but finally just stopped becuase I had no say. He knew better than to ever ask me if they could use my car (hell no!), but he dropped a hint every so often, which I completely ignored. She still, to this day, avoids driving. I think the last time she took the car on her own was in the fall. To go to the library.
Keep your mouth shut, don't mention anything, do not get involved. If you do, you really haven't been paying attention.
Not a peep
nada.