I'm so sorry.

Oh no - not good! So very sorry.

Honey, take a deep breath. It's better to know now than when it's too late. Any chance he is just reaching out to her because he is freaked about being diagnosed with cancer? Not that it makes it any better, but maybe there's a reason he's doing this that is innocent? Maybe she found out he is diagnosed and is checking in?

Ouch. That's a lot of communication for him to be having with a woman things are "over" with. Even if he could say the communication was because of SS, that wouldn't require pics at all. Certainly not to equate to 5/week.

Sorry.

I am sorry this is happening to you. and Having cancer is no excuse to just do whatever and its ok. Honey you need to worry about yourself I know you may not want to leave because u may feel responsible to take care of him but it is not looking like he feels responsible enough to see what a great woman he has that would take care of and love him. Love yourself first

So sorry that he is being that way. What a jerk.

this is so unfair to you. i know it's easier said than done, but i would be done with him. no explaining himself, no excuses, no apologies. just done. you take care of him while he's sick and this is what he does? bullshit! your gut doesn't lie. i've learned that the hard way. never again will i doubt any feelings i get about something not being right just because i don't have proof. he deserves to lose you. let that bitch take care of him. something tells me that if they were to get together if you leave, life won't be so fun anymore because real life never is. it's only fun when you're doing what you want with no responsibilities. let them have each other.

Aw, ((((hugs)))). I'm so sorry to hear about this I hope it's nothing more than him getting some kind of support through this trying time, but, honestly, I bet he could get that support from you. Maybe he doesn't want to overburden you? I'm hoping it's nothing shifty and weird, but, then again, talking to an ex that frequently without saying anything about it is shifty and weird regardless of the context of the conversations.

Sometimes people just don't think about the ramifications of deception. My SO hid something from me this summer, and, when I found out about it, we had a huge blow up and have been working to mend the hurt feelings and broken trust this entire time. He said he hid it from me because he didn't want to disappoint me, but, I told him that things were way worse because of hiding it. Sure, I may have been disappointed, but, I wouldn't have lost my trust in him and we wouldn't be still dealing with it months later. I would have appreciated an upfront conversation about it, as I'm sure you would have, too.

Sending good vibes your way, Sterling.

I just dealt with my own DH having an emotional affair. He finally ended it when he realized how badly it was affecting our marriage.

Our marriage would have not been able to survive had this emotional affair been with someone he had previously been romantically involved with.

Just realize, as much pain as this is causing you now (even if he has a great excuse, he is still withholding important information from you!), this can still be YOUR year! Sounds like you are not financially dependent on having him in the household so you are already better off than others on this site.

You are strong. And you have our support. Remember that.

Put your emotions aside. Separate your assets that you can before talking to him. Find out about buying a house while married without filing for separation. Make sure if you buy a house, it can't be used as an asset against you in divorce.

Wow, so sorry!

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

Why read the etxts? He is communicating with another woman on a very regular basis and unless she is his boss it is unnacceptable. I think reading the texts would make it even more heartbreaking for me.

I am so sorry {{{big hug}}}}. You need to do what is right for you, stay strong hun.

He will try to lie his way out of this.

It's called "gaslighting". He'll try to make you the bad guy for questioning him - especially when he has these medical issues.

Wish I'd learned earlier in life that it is not a court of law when dealing with a cheater. You do not have to have proof beyond a shadow of doubt. You don't have to prove one damn thing.

When you KNOW what is happening and you are unhappy that is all you need to leave a relationship.

I explained to my DH while we were still dating that me being unhappy was reason enough for me to get out of a relationship. I never had to prove that he had made any mistakes. If I ever got to the position of being unhappy I would leave - even if I had nothing I could prove.

Yep agreeing with sue on this one it's my forever stance on sneaky crap and cheating. Any man I'm with will get a warning at the beginning of the relationship about inappropriate conversations with women. I will only remind once depending on the nature of the convo, I walk if it's obviously sexual, I walk if it's overly emotional, and if they're involved I walk and tear thier life apart in the process, I'll never get taken by the bullshit a cheater spews to make it "not what it seems" (it's exactly what it seems) or "well your so xyz I had to talk to/screw someone!"
Nope don't ever let a man lay blame at your feet, walk.

So SS is texting a grown woman nearly every day and sending her picture messages then deleting all of them from his dad's phone when he is a 15 year old boy with his own phone? And this doesn't come up until you find the phone record??? Hm...

I really hope you are not buying this story, OP. This whole thing is way too far fetched. If you stay with him, you need to stay with open eyes, knowing that he hides things from you and is very probably a cheater. I couldn't do it.

Hello...
I went through an affair/divorce when I was going thru a precancerous painful surgery with complications etc. My ex shut down and walked out for a married woman. He also enlisted my SD's help in covering his affair.

I don't want to freak you out, but I would be very concerned. There must be parental control software that allows you to see texts. If not get a key logger on your computer, because if he is communicating to that degree with her on the phone and thinks it's compromised, he will move to chatting/fb etc. A site that helped me tremendously is called survivinginfidelity.com. They have many resources and offer a ton of support. One thing that saved my life was a tool called the 180- I still use it when I'm triggered in my new relationship due to the trauma of my ex's affair.

Start living totally for yourself right now. Don't focus on your marriage or on him. Turn it around. It sounds counterintuitive but the faster you can make your life totally about you the faster you will move forward- no matter if that's with him or on your own. Because hovering and clinging and freaking out on him will only drive him toward her more if that's the direction he's heading already. And if you focus on yourself and your needs and your joy then you will be heading toward healing regardless of his next step.

Hugs.