Need Advice!! BM handed over 1 yr worth of bills at pick up. Wtf?!? UPDATE BELOW
Ok. I need some advice/thoughts here. BM used to give us these stupid spreadsheets every month for copays, meds, etc &for Extra- curriculars every month. Shes pathetically anal about gouging every penny she can out of us!!!!!
Anyways, about a year ago she stopped sending them. We asked her several times over the past year if shes still gonna send them, and that we cannot afford to pay her some outrageous amount all at once. We never got a response. Personally she got remarried & we had hoped her pettyness had ended. WRONG!! She signs the kids up for every activity she can, we are out of state, so frankly DH hasnt agreed to pay ANY extra curriculars or anything cause she doesnt even tell DH anything beforehand!!!!!
Sooo... TODAY at drop-off she hands a big stack of papers to my DH saying "these are the kids report cards". Dh says goodbye to the kids and drives off. He opened the large envelope and BAM! She wants over $2K mailed to her within 2 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!
The CO states that DH needs to pay 1/2 of non-covered medical pmts. The CO states we pay 1/2 of Extra Curriculars IF DH agrees to it BEFOREHAND!!! So, we DONT hv to pay the Extra-Curriculars cause DH is NEVER consulted. & the kids are Flunking classes right & left!! She has them waaay overbooked. Its pathetic!! She wants us to pay for SS14's swim team fees, swim accessories etc -- but the kid never swam once cause he couldnt keep above a 2.0 academically to particupate!!! Its boyscout trips (8 a year!!!) soccer, basketball, football, anything & everything!!!!!
Its not like we dont WANT to pay for all this stuff BUT we seriously DONT have the $$!!!!! We are barely making it each month. What the hell do we do?? She held onto all of this for a YEAR!!! We have NO way of paying all this right now-- not even $200 of it!!!!! When DH tried to call her she said very very nasty "then Ill see your ass in court" & "sorry you dont want to be a parent asshole" then hung up!!! The kids definitely hear her!!!
Ok Folks-- what do we do about the medical stuff?? We cannot afford it at all right now!!! We asked her for the amounts many times cause its waaaay easier to pay them monthly--- but now shes Demanding a whole years worth in 2 weeks!! Its the state of MI if that helps
Advice/Thoughts???
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Certified letter outlining
Certified letter outlining the costs DH has to pay by CO and that will be the only things she gets $ for. Does the CO outline any time frame for receipt of medical bills and payments? Otherwise certified letter (or lawyer can help with all this) to make reasonable payments for medical bills due to her with holding of receipts for such a long time, can you verify that these medical cost are factual amounts to make sure like some BM's on her she's also not billing for anyone not in the CO (like herself)? She can't make him pay what he isn't CO'd to pay.
Great Ideas!!! Thank you!!!
Great Ideas!!! Thank you!!! Sadly, DH & I have been super stressed as it is with money. He pays an outrageous amount in Child Support each month- $1,600!!! Then with the new tax crap- we are loosing $400 each month now. Its very tight right now!!
Her excuse for sending a years worth at one time? "I didnt have the time to do it each month"!!!! Yea Right!!! Shes full of it!! She probably wants to go on a vacation or something! The lady makes over $100k a year!!
We are struggling big time. It sucks!!
I need to go read the CO to see if it specifically states a timeline of which she must send them.
She talked DH into opting out
She talked DH into opting out of FOC in the divorce- however I read on their website once that he can still get them involved!! I think its time we do that! I know they deal with the FOC with her husband & his kids. BM didnt want FOC involved because she is a Social Worker etc for the state!!!!
Im soooo tired of her crap!! We have several emails we sent asking for the med pays. She wouldnt respond. The year thing makes sense as to "why" she gave it to him at drop off. However, she wont accept anything from us unless its mailed!!! I told DH no more accepting from her then as well !!! Im thinking DH learned his lesson on that!!!!
I dont know how we are going to afford this!!!!!! There absolutely NO way we could even begin to pay these crazy extra curriiculars!!! She knows that cause DH has told her he cant afford it for the past 2 years!!!
But- like I told DH a few years back-shes trying to get any free money out of him as she can!!!
Thank you Doormatnomore- yes,
Thank you Doormatnomore- yes, we need to breathe!!
Thank you to all who reply. BM is a huge thorn in my butt right now!!
My CO says medical bills are
My CO says medical bills are to be submitted within a month...
I wouldnt worry about the extras, if he's not ordered to pay them...
I love these ideas!!!!
I love these ideas!!!! Thanks so much & yep!! FOC here we come!! She knew what she was doing by asking him to not do the FOC. Shes a very manipulative person!!
Thank you to all who
Thank you to all who replied!! DH thanks you as well !!
BM has sent us a few very nasty text messages since I wrote this today!!! Grrr. Im proud of DH tho- as he did NOT feed the beast & didnt respond at all to her!!!! Yay!!
Her new excuse is cusssing DH out & saying "you get the explanation of benefits sent to you from the insurance company. Its NOT my responsibility to tell you how much you owe!! I dont have to show you proof of anything but I expect pmt by next week in full!!! " & "I dont have to prove shit to your ass!!! Its YOUR responsibility to know how much you owe ME for med payments- so grow the fuck up & help raise your kids".
Shes fucking NUTS!!! The EOBs dont show if the co- payments were paid to the docters!!! Half the time we dont even see the EOBs from the Ins carrier till months later!!!! & shes crazy if she thinks every month we are to call the pharmacys in their state to see if each of the 3 kids got presriptions filled !!!
Ummm... Crazy lady!! If you want $$$ to REBURSE you for half of what you paid--- its up to YOU to send proof!!!! Shes freaking NUTS!!! But glad & tickled DH doesnt play her stupid games anymore!!!
I think this goes without
I think this goes without saying but - save those text messages - they may be helpful if you end up going back to court.
~BettyRay
You've received some good
You've received some good advice. I would also put in the letter that, as the parent of these children, you believe that academics should be top priority and you don't agree with them being in ANY ecs until they can get their grades to an acceptable level.
Yes!! Very good point!!!
Yes!! Very good point!!! Thank you!!! We are of course keeping record of the text messages & her behaviour!! DH is wanting the help of the FOC. Thank God!!! Yes, there is a very small (in our opinion)fee of less then $19 per month fees to join the FOC, but, it helps to hold her accountable- then we feel its money worth spending!! Taking a look at MIs online CS calculator last night - ut also aopears that perhaps DH is paying more CS then he should. We are going to ask their assistance into looking at that as well !!!
Thanks for all your support everyone!! Youre truly appreciated!!