What would you do?
SS9 is growing more and more everyday and looks nothing like dh. bm messed around the entire time they were together. everyone makes comments how ss7 and bd9 look so much like dh but bd9 isnt dh. but she looks more like dh then ss9. his family always makes the comments about ss7 being dh twin. and bd9 must be his. but when it comes to ss9 nobody says anything. in front of him. but when its just me they will let there true feeling show. they dont think ss9 is dh.
as time passes I just dont think ss9 is dh. what would u do? if you chooses to say something how would you bring it up? or would u just let it be?
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I think your right. I should
I think your right. I should bite my tongue and hope one of his family members brings it up. thanks
I'm pretty sure my DH's first
I'm pretty sure my DH's first son was not his. His father never thought he was. He was out of the country, came home for a date, went back overseas and got a call to come home she was pg.
I never met him and he's now deceased. DH had not seen him in years (he was involved in a murder - yes really - and never came back in the state). DH has no interest in seeing his "grandkids". But I've never discussed it with DH.
I have the exact same
I have the exact same suspicion about my husband's son. The details surrounding his conception are sketchy at best. DH was not in a relationship with BM. She was his part time booty call, college days when you leave the bar alone kinda girl, he slept with her one time in a 2 month time period, then she calls him two months after they had their drunken encounter, and tells him she is pregnant. He was and still is for the most part totally controlled by his bible beating holly roller mother, she said "you're marrying her" and that was it. The child, was born 3 weeks early and weighed 10 pounds.
DH said he had his suspicions, but he was already in too deep, and bonded immediately with the baby. They split when he was six months old because this bitch is also a closeted lesbian and just whacko, anyway, I have NEVER thought he was his. He looks NOTHING like DH at all. Not one single trace. He looks just like her and another man she was supposedly sleeping with at the time. We have talked about it during the custody battles and such. DH does not like it if I bring it up now and has said it does not matter to him anyway and knowing the truth for sure would not change how he feels about skid. I on the other hand, would LOVE to know the truth on way or the other.
I would not bring it up if you think it will make him mad at you though.
I think the same thing... its
I think the same thing... its been so long I dont think it would matter to dh if ss was his or not he as been there since birth. just the type of man he is.
it just bugs me cause I am the one taking care of the kids full time. and at times I think to myself " i signed up for your kids not some other mans kids"
Yeah, before I was used and
Yeah, before I was used and abused and put thru hell, and before I disengaged with skid, I used to think that all the time. I would look at him while he was having one of his goofy fits, and think, "are you kidding me? I love DH, but am I really sitting her being put thru hell by SOME OTHER MAN's kid, just because BM got knocked up and chose the best option to pin fatherhood on?" I feel for you. I really do. It is a sickening feeling and very difficult to shake.
ss would "kinda" be a orphan.
ss would "kinda" be a orphan. our BM is the same as yours. damn drug addicts. but even if ss wasnt his I dont think that would change the was DH feels I just want to know.
My husband does not think
My husband does not think that SS10 is biologically his, but that is his son and DH has always been his primary caregiver. I support him in this.
There is that. However, there
There is that. However, there are also all the legal and emotional ramifications of finding out for parents and kids. A lot of adopted kids don't know the medical history of their bios. A lot of intact families don't talk about the medical history of others within the family. The only reason I know there are female reproductive issues running in my family is because I happened to overhear my grandmother on the phone. Would be nice if mentioning ovarian cancer wasn't taboo in our family.
I agree with you Foxie. It
I agree with you Foxie. It could possible save a lot of heartache down the road for the child.
EXACTLY!!!! I totally agree
EXACTLY!!!! I totally agree with this. It should be mandatory for sure. Where I live, all the man has to do at the hospital if they are not married is sign an affidavit of paternity. Once that is signed, he is screwed unless it is contested within a 2 yr window from the date of birth. Where I live, if a man is married to a woman and she gives birth, it is the same thing, if two years go by and the paternity is not questioned and proven false, he is stuck as the "legal" father forever and is financially responsible for the child. There are so many men that are raising kids that are not theirs and it is not right.
I know for fact that DH isn't
I know for fact that DH isn't the father of SS13-based on blood types (DH=B, BM=O, SS13=A)...but DH will not take action. SS13 has a lot of medical/mental health issues, and I think DH should get a DNA test then talk to BM about SS13s actual father. Of coure, DH would rather wait until the spawn of satan because a serial killer before he will take any kind of steps to get the sick kid help.
If a man is paying child
If a man is paying child support and whatever else for a child, and there is a chance the child might not be his, I think the right decision is for the man to find out the truth and bring it to court. The child deserves to know, the father deserves to know and to not have to pay out the ass (some even pay $1000 a month!). He can choose to remain "daddy" to that kid, but in my opinion, he should not be FORCED to pay for a kid that's not his! He can CHOOSE to but not be FORCED.