So for the past week, I've been a depressed monster. With the help of a friend, I may have found us the perfect home (in my hometown)--see previous blog --halfway house. I am super excited about this because it's in the right location, has the right amount of bedrooms, and is easy access for SO to drive the extra 15 minutes in his day to maintain his current employment, while keeping our family together. I mentioned this house to SO, and got NOTHING. I told him a few months ago that I am moving, with or without him. Since that time, he has mentioned that we need to plan our wedding, and we purchased a few major household appliances, so I was assuming that moving was a go!!

He has SD e/w, 50-50. So...the things that were discussed at the time of my big announcement of moving was that she needed to be with us for the school year or with her mother, but this halfway shit was unacceptable any longer. It has no benefit to SD, only to her father at this time. The BM lives 4 hours south of us, and would like her to school in BM's hometown (well marriage town). Now it seems that SO is in denial of this complete conversation that we had, and is making plans that will keep us here in this shit hole, which I HATE. He even had the balls to look up a house for sale 20 more minutes away from my hometown that what we are now. He claimed it was to see the house itself, and wished it was in the direction of my hometown. I don't buy it. I honestly think the SOB expects all of us to move closer to his work city, so he can keep up his current custody agreement. I think that I have given in so many times in this relationship, that he honestly doesn't have a clue that I am moving, with or without him. And it pisses me off!!!! How much more can I give? When exactly do my wants and needs come into play? I'm just pissed, and sad, and really just needed to vent! Oh, and suddenly he's all about putting his child in all summer activities in his work city. Hello, where the fuck were you during the school year? I guess it would be okay for the summer activities, as he will still be working in the same city, but I'm so fucking done making my life all about his creature comforts, which is mostly because of his child. My bios have to count too, and they ARE and always have been active in all activities provided by my hometown community! This child (SD) is a lazy, very non creative type who prefers to park her ass in front of the boob tube than to find something else to do.

I know that I need to have this conversation with him. I really do know this, but I had to get the vent out here to the people who can understand my frustrations, before I actually say these shitty words to him. I want to be calm, but right now, I'm mad.