My SD16 is a pretty good kis overall. My problem is normal teenage girl issues. My DD is 6 I thought I had years before I had to deal with it. My main issue is BM being a worthless human being.

Well even if it doesn't make a difference in how we handle skids or their behavior, it feels good just knowing that I have a place to come and vent and commiserate!

Being on ST saved my marriage. I can't talk about my skid and BM issues with "regular" moms, because they don't get it, and frankly, most of it is so unbelievable, it's embaressing! Venting here did help me. A lot. 18 months in therapy helped. Disengaging for about 2 years helped because Loghead learned that it can't be done alone. It helped him appreciate all I do so much more...

The thing that helped me most was when I realized I had to put myself first and make time for me. For me, that meant joining a gym and buying healthier foods just for me. And the more energized I felt, the better interactions I had with the skids. The teen years were tough. But I am proud to say my skids are all graduated from HS as of last week, and only 1 is in the house this summer!

My SS is great. Really good kid. SD not so much. Yes a lot of dads play a passive role. My thinking is if you aren't on this site, things are probably going as they should or people haven't discovered the site. So a little bias of course.

it makes a difference for me. i have no one IRL that relates to this brand of crazy. my brother does, but he's a thousand miles away with three kids to tend too (and YES, three really IS that much more difficult than two.)

it's a way to bond with others going through similar circumstances, even tho' that bond is 'virtual'. ya'll have saved my sanity on many occasions, and have given me a good belly laugh at just the right time i needed it. and in return, i can only hope that anything i say here may be of some use to somebody.

This site has really opened my eyes to 'it isn't that I can't like/love the skids, it is the skids and BM that prevents it'.

I was on a site where everyone was policitally correct, you must support your SO, you must support the skids. I thought it was just me. Once I came here, I was able to block BM out of my life, disengage from doing 90% of the work to raise the skids while BM and DSO did very little.

I was able to take my life back and my health improved.

I have a decent SD (now 22). Partly because that's just her personality, partly because her dad has always parented her. He is a really nice, laid back guy but he does not take backtalk or disrespect from kids. He did not parent her any different after he and his ex- wife split. SD was certainly not spoiled.

She's not real bright and she does lie and try to manipulate him sometimes (she learned that from her psycho BM) but we never really had problems with SD that did not stem directly from her BM, who did everything she could to alienate SD from her father.

I found this site because I felt a tad guilty for not letting SD, her DH (at the time) and their 2 kids "stay" with us. Now she's divorced and living with BM and I pray everyday that she does not ask to move in with us. She is not very capable or independent and I know my husband sometimes feels bad for her.

In my case it has made a huge difference. . . .this site has helped me not run them all over with my care . . just kidding.

On the real though I love the fact that I can come here, get advice, vent if I need too. I have even shared with DH how much this site has helped me try to make our marriage stronger.

SS15 is overall a decent kid. He's polite and thoughtful, and he's never been disrespectful of me. (Not that DH would allow that.) He's a lot like his father personality-wise. He definitely has his issues, but these mostly stem from the issues he has with BM.

I don't know if anything I do or try to do for him will make a difference. So far, there's been no change. I've encouraged him to do better in school. Nothing. I've tried to teach him the tools he needs to stand up for himself. So far, nothing. I don't think I'll see the results of anything I'm doing until much later, when SS15 (hopefully) matures some. He's 15 going on 8, so it's going to be a long, long time. Even when he IS an adult, I don't know if anything I do will have made a difference. But I try. DH and I both try. We need to be able to look back and say we did what we could even if we do both believe (which we do) that SS's future is out of our hands.

This site has helped me realize that, no, im not an evil SM, given me a place to vent, and helped me to see that im not the only one struggling.