Last night, after dinner while watching TV my phone rings.
It's BM1, still not calling to apologise for her sons racist, rude remark. I asked her why she is not calling DH to which she told me that he never answers his phone.
"BM1, he's sitting right next to me. His phone hasn't rang. Try again."
Her husband wants to do a romantic thing after Thanksgiving dinner. His oldest son will be staying with their child together and wanted STA and Redface Magee to come over to our house Thursday night and stay with us until Sunday.
Me- STA can come, but not Redface. My kids are here, I'm not sending them away on my Thanksgiving because I won't have them for Christmas. RFM can stay with your stepson and your baby.
BM1- SS won't watch him.
Me- Oh really, why is that?
BM1- He just won't. He needs to focus all his attention on the baby.
Me- Ahh, well no. He's not staying here that long. The boys are leaving Friday night with their dad, you can bring him over then.
BM1- That won't really work for us.
Me- Not my problem.
I then handed the phone to DH. "You better tell her if she doesn't stop calling my phone she's going to see my anger issues, and then I'll give ExH your number so he can call you when ever the hell he feels like chatting."
I can hear her even though DH has the phone to her ear.
DH looked at me, which the questions in his eyes.
NO
I spoke loud enough so she could hear me.
"You both refuse to raise that kid with any form a disciplin and yall let him get away with what ever he does. Let me set a fire, let me rip hair out of this cat, let me throw this ball at this other kids face, I'm going to destroy a class room, I'm going to threaten to kill my sm because she grounds me when I do something bad. Oh dad and mom are mad so now I'm going to threaten to kill myself so that I can be coddled again. I'm going to spout off racist remarks because mommy says I'm god and every one should bow down to me. Well, he's not my god, I'm not bowing down and neither are my kids. You want him to be able to come over here like normal, then do your fucking job as his parents and put a foot in his ass when he acts out. It is his fault, and it's yours. No, he's not coming here while my kids are here. I'm not sending my kids away because RFM is BM1's special little baby. You both can kiss my ass and go to hell."
I went to bed after that. I wasn't going to listen to DH try to guilt me into it, or promises of a perfectly behaved little angel boy.
I have given this boy a chance, time and time again. He's done nothing but show that he is a violent dangerous person. If both DH and BM1 want to stick their heads in the sand there's nothing I can do about it. I can however make sure that violence doesn't hurt my children any more.
I've already decided that the next time Redface comes to spend the night, I'm taking my dogs and going to a hotel that weekend. I'm putting the cat in one of the kids rooms and locking the door. I'm going to let him do this completely on his own. Will he figure it out then? Probably not.