Things have just hit that final straw. I'm too exhausted to get too far into it but needed to vent a little. This man is incapable of being there for me emotionally. He thinks I'm just too needy and expect too much from him. Thanksgiving was a mess, his 14 year old was disrespectful to me the entire time. I spent the holiday unhappy. It was bad enough that I didn't have my kids with me, I had to put up with her being a brat, overdoing the daaaaaaaaddy to an extreme, rolling her eyes at me, interrupting me when I talked, she took my seat at the adult table, making the available one at the kids' table. So what did SO do? Ask her to move by her sister and cousins? Nope. He pulled up another chair to the kids' table and that's where we sat. God forbid we upset the princess. He spent two days tripping over himself to make her happy.

I bring these things up in counseling this week and her advice is to ignore it and kill it with love. She says it's not SD's fault that she feels this way. Of course SO agrees with this wholeheartedly because he doesn't want to argue with her. I told the counselor that I didn't agree, that I would never allow my kids to be disrespectful of any adult. Especially my partner. She said I could disagree but her advice doesn't change. SO gets upset if my kids don't specifically say hello to him when they come home or goodbye when they leave for school. Fair enough, I've worked on this and make sure my kids greet him, say goodnight, etc. So here I am enforcing this respect and his child won't be held to those standards.

I'm so done. I had a doctor's appt yesterday and cried through the entire visit. Thank goodness I have such a wonderful doctor, he spent an hour with me. And made me lay down, my blood pressure was 150/107. I'm a small person so that's crazy high for me. My body is telling me things are not well. What more do I need to get out of this hell? I came home from that appt, no compassion from SO. No hug, nothing. He said I'm in a funk and he just doesn't get it. He's scared to be with someone that can be down and stressed like this and that there's nothing else he can do about it. He fed my kids dinner last night because I had a ridiculous amount of work to get through. When I'm done working I tell him thank you for that. He says that's the things I do to show you I care, I feed YOUR children dinner so you can work. (For anyone that follows my posts I have his kids alone with me on weekends because he works and drive them an hour and a half one way home every Sunday) There are no breaks for me, kids 7 days a week. I don't expect a medal for this. It's part of being in a partnership with someone with kids.

He said I have constant needs, just needy all the time. Other people in my life tell me this isn't the case, that he's high maintenance and expects everything his way. He comes first always.

He's mad at me for crying and being upset yesterday so he's giving me the silent treatment today. I don't have it in me for this. The kids will go to their dads tomorrow after school, I'll pack some things. When he gets home from work I'm telling him im leaving and going to my moms.