This is definitely NOT the hill I am going to die on, but, it is annoying enough that I need to vent a little. We have SD12 full time, yet I'm rarely "allowed" to parent her. I tried long ago to be a "real" mom to her and teach/correct in all the same ways that I did with BD25 and I am now doing with BD4. But, I've backed off because I've learned my lesson long ago that I'm not the "real mom" to SD12.

DH is tired and disconnected. BM is completely absent. My frustration arises because I can't parent this kid because when I do, DH says, "Oh no, NOT again! Do you have to start again with that? WHY do you have to obsess over SD!?"

I'm not on SD's ass all the time. Not even part of the time. Shit, I hardly ever even say anything unless it's an obvious parenting failure, like doing the bare minimum and cleaning up after he own self? No one ever asks her to help with minimum chores. No one asks her to clean her room. No one ever asks her to help clean up the common areas that she also uses. I mean, shouldn't a 12 year old be expected to wipe her own place at the dinner table? Shouldn't a 12 year old be expected to do her homework or clean her own room? I find it hard to believe I'm SO MEAN to think that SD really needs to step it up more and help around the house. Especially if she expects us to pay for her extracurricular activities and entertainment!

Funny, but when I nag BD4 to death about manners & cleanliness, DH never says a word to me about it.

So, I'm not willing to die on the hill of "nagging" SD about wiping a countertop or stop putting greasy fingers on my computer, but I'm so annoyed that I can parent 2 bios with no one telling me I'm over-reacting....but when it comes to SD, I'm always over-reacting and I must be the problem.