Since I am new here I will tell a little about myself. I have 2 grown sons and 1 stepson. I have 2 grandchildren and 2 step grandchildren. My husband and I have been married for 11 yrs. my stepson was around 13 when we decided to live together. My son was 16. I don't have a ss that watches and tries to cut me down, not that I know of anyway. But he does have a wife, the mother of his 2 children, 2 and 3 1/2. He works full time and she stays home. They have decided they don't want her to work because it just causes to much trouble, you know guys hitting on her. So since they only have one income my husband makes up the difference. My husband and I decided when we got together we would just keep our separate money. I worked and so does he so this was good with me. He has bought his son a house with the stipulation that he was to pay on this house what he could a month, the house is paid for, and he is to pay taxes and insurance. He's been there 2 yrs and has never paid any monthly payments. I don't really care because it isn't my money supporting him. My husband also gives him anywhere from 400-800 dollars a month. The ss comes over every weekend supposedly to do work around my home to earn his money. This is just a ruse. Sometimes he works a couple of hours then just visits the rest of the time. My husband would give him the money whether he worked or not but this justifies it in his mind. And he has to justify it since he is very opinionated whenever my children need help. The ss's wife stays home. She doesn't clean, AT ALL. The house is discusting. I am told by the ss she doesn't like to clean!!! Either her or the children are always needing to go to doctor or hospital. There is always something series wrong with them, her claim not mine. So she has ran up hundreds of dollars in medical bills. I feel my husband pretty much pays her a pay check to stay home. And this money is expected because they have his grandchildren! Once again, not my money.. But it does upset me that they are taking advantage of him. And it upsets me he lets them. There is always the unsaid threat of them getting mad and not talking to my husband.
Anyway here is the drama. The ss's wife is such a fragile thing and EVERYONE is so mean to her. She has alienated her own mother, they don't speak and the mother can't see the grandchildren.
A couple of weeks ago it was my turn. They came for a visit and nothing unusual happened, the 2 yr old was a little more fussy than normal. She cried, whined, and into things she shouldn't be, you know, typical 2 yr old stuff. The next night the ss called and told my husband that his wife said I told her I didn't want them here, that she was stupid, and wouldn't let the children play with any toys...my ss and husband had been outside for awhile working on our deck which left me alone with her. My ss believes his wife. I would never tell them I didn't want them here, NEVER. I know how important my husband's relationship is with his son and I would never do anything to change that. My husband calmly told my ss that I said none of that was true and that I wouldn't lie. But the ss said he believed his wife. Of course he does. I have never give him any reason to believe I would say these things. Once that phone call ended my husband and I discussed it. I was livid to say the least. Anyway long story short, the son still shows up on weekends to claim his money, ss and dad acts like nothing has happened. No one has mentioned it, it's just forgotten except by ME!!!! My husband and I have had heated arguments over this. I think I deserve at least an apology. My husband don't want to make his son mad. When I pointed out his son had no problem calling here accusing me of things and possibly making his father mad and losing his cash cow. My husband told me I would NOT put a wedge between him and his son. So needless to say, I am still angry. Nothing was said to the ss's wife, she just gets to sit back a collect her pay check from my husband. She has not been back to my house since it happened. But she will return and I want nothing to do with her. It's a mess and I feel like I am not worth fighting for. I am the bad guy and I did nothing wrong. I don't know where we go from here.