Is it Too Much to Ask?
I've spent time with the kids ALL DAY. We played board games this morning, I made lunch and then they had a friend over and we all went swimming for hours. Friend just left. I asked SS11 to go read a book quietly and BS5 to read his leapad books so I can start dinner. Finally some time alone right? No. SS comes moping through and when DH asks what wrong he says "I just don't want to read." DH didn't respond so I said well you can read or play a game... there's plenty to do...or you can sit and be bored, I'm about to make dinner. SS jumps to his feet and looks right at DH "OOOO, I WANNA HELP MAKE DINNER."
DH didn't even ask me if it was okay, he said "well sure-" and I interrupted saying the kitchen is too small (Which is true, it's a 6x4 space). So DH pulls me aside and says "WHY can't he help?? All he wants to do is help. Why don't you want him to help? Why are you being mean?? Etc, etc."
Well, he's got a point, why not? Well....It's because I want time to myself. I want time AWAY from SS. I want to chop and cook and bake MY WAY without messy children around.
I just shrugged. "Okay, he can help."
So after bumping into him several times in the kitchen I finally set him at the kitchen table and he chopped onions (SS with a knife- Lord help him) and grated carrots. He chopped them wrong, even though I showed him what I needed, and made a HUGE mess doing it. Then as soon as DH turned on the game station to play with BS, SS just left what he was doing with the veggies to play games. Didn't even finish.
I made him come back and clean up his mess at least... but he didn't even clean it up well.
This is why I wanted to do it on my own.
It wasn't a help it was a hinderance and it was annoying and I was bullied into it.
Am I awful for thinking this way?
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Comments
lol…very true!
lol…very true!
I think you should have
I think you should have handed over the cooking to dh and the ss helper and went and had that time to yourself truly to yourself!
That was my first thought.
That was my first thought.
Mine too.
Mine too.
I agree the DH needs to have
I agree the DH needs to have your back regardless if he disagrees and if he does he needs to wait to discuss this with you later when the kids aren't around. It's not your job to entertain the SS and he needs to listen when it is time to read after a stimulating day like your BS who is 5 then he needs to. If he wanted to help me I would make him cut a whole truck load of onions.
I would have made my DH do
I would have made my DH do the cooking if he didn't think it was a big deal for the kid to help. I also would have told DH to turn that game console off and made him supervise his kid made the other children keep reading/whatever until Dinner. He set you up to look bad and himself up to be the fun parent when he trotted out the game console.
I agree with everyone. Sit
I agree with everyone. Sit your DH down & say I needed alone time. I needed time alone after being with them _ hours. That doesn't make you mean or horrible, it makes you an adult that has had too much child time. BPs get annoyed with their own kids after being with them all day, but steps are bad people because they want a break from kids that aren't theirs? Ask him how he feels at the end of the day, after watching friends or families kids? It's normal to need adult time or alone time. Ask that he respects that next time or you'll hang up the towel & he can cook.
I don't cook with the kids in
I don't cook with the kids in the kitchen..ever. So if my SD wants to help, she knows that she can only do it with DH. Same with my bios. I just don't have the patience to deal with kids in the kitchen. It sounds like you and your DH need to have a talk. If the kids want to help in the kitchen, then your DH can cook dinner with him. If your DH wasn't busy and his son was bored, he could have taken the time to entertain him.