I can only speak for myself, but making my SD clean up after herself has absolutely nothing to do with me attempting to parent. It's the exact opposite. I'm saying, I'm not your parent so I will not clean up your bloody messes like a parent would. Im saying, im not here for you like your parents are.

It is easier said then done to leave because of the steps. You are darned if you do and darned if you don't. A good parent will not introduce the kids right away to a new paramour. And the ex doesn't usually bring out the crazy until after her ex knows of a new relationship.

So most ladies don't know of the great joys of step life until after getting serious. Then after marriage the ex really brings out the crazy.

There is no general standard that the stow have to see dad outside of the home. I didn't really have any issues with my skids coming over all the time until my kid ended up in the emergency room due to skid "accidently" tripping my kid and accidently hitting my kid, and Windows on the second floor were "accidentally" being left open around my toddler.