OT- Venting- Why is it?

Seriously? Why is it the people who do nothing for society, never give back, just take, take, take always end up with getting help?

I know we have talked about it with BM. Seems like no matter what they do they seem to have it easier in ways of "getting free stuff".

This isn't BM related though.

I am PMSing, annoyed right now. I don't usually compare my life and what I have or don't have to others.

But I have this former co-worker. She's the type of person who complains about being broke, yet always shops, eats out, buys stuff they don't need. It's a viscous cycle with her. She shops because she's depressed, she's depressed because she's broke. Her DH is basically a loser who will only give her 50% of his paycheck (doesn't even work 40 hours) while she works 2 jobs (and our day jobs pay good) to pay their bills and their spending habits. She buys him stuff that he wants all the time. They eat like Kings.

People often feel sorry for her. She's been "sponsored" for Christmas and gotten free food and gift cards. Oh she works two jobs, let's have pity on her. When in reality she'd rather work then be around her family.

A few months back her DH bought a dog from a breeder. (annoyance #1 for me as I am HUGE supporter of adoption). Okay, they are broke. Have 2 dogs that they don't take care of (like they should) already and get another dog.

Long story short- the dog eats some toy, gets sick, has surgery, has a ton of side affects, ends up in the hospital, etc. Well with all her whining and crying, she got the hospital to cut her bill in half and I'm 99% sure her boss (my former boss) paid the remaining $900 balance she had.

I feel like she is always getting help and yet gives NOTHING back to society.

I will invite her to do volunteer stuff with me and she never does it. "I'm too busy".

I feel like she is one of those people who just takes takes takes and never gives back.

So one of my 3 cats has a mass. He was supposed to have it removed yesterday. Well the vet decided not to go with the surgery because the mass had gotten bigger from the last visit and he was worried he wouldn't be able to close the incision and I was referred to a med vet.

Surgery was originally going to cost around $1000. I wasn't happy about it especially with just coming back from vacation and the holidays coming up. But I was going to make it work.

Well now because he needs to see a specialist, the cost is now $1600-$2200.

The cat is 9 years old and has had constant UTI issues, so we've already put sooooo much money into this cat to treat those issues. He is however BS11 best bud. That's his cat. They sleep together. Cuddle together.

So I'm in the position of wondering if I should get a surgery that has no guarantees of keeping my cat alive for the rest of his natural life.

So really it boils down to cost and if it makes sense with his age and health issues already.

So I'm feeling bitter. Like someone who has pets she doesn't take care of, that she buys for $800+, that her son and husband treat like shit gets the free vet bill and then there's me who probably has to break it to my son that his cat can't get the surgery.

I know logically, what happens in other people's lives is really none of my business. Why things shake out like they do for this co-worker is none of my business. And 99% of the time I just think in my head "my life is good. At least I dont have to live her life to basically get handouts." But that little 1% of me is like WTF.......... Why do certain people get it easy?????????

UGH!

zerostepdrama's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

BS loves this cat so much.

BS loves this cat so much. He's such a good cat too. Super chill and lovable.

Thank you for the support!

I appreciate the advice.

I appreciate the advice. Definitely will consider all options. DH is not too happy about having to pay for any kind of surgery for the cat.

Why is it the harder you

Why is it the harder you work, the harder it is for you? (people in general?)

oh i hear you, zero. i've

oh i hear you, zero. i've come across MANY MANY people that just have things miraculously taken care of for them. meanwhile i add to my c/c debt by swiping for a 2700.00 vet bill for g-pa a week after we got back from overspending on vacation. i also qualified for NO FINANCIAL AID (except straight-out loans) when i wanted to go to college - cuz i was a single, childless, job-holding, mortgage-paying responsible member of society. now, if i'd quit my job, went into foreclosure and popped out a kid or two, i'd have had it made in the shade!
>:-/

I would like that "miracle"

I would like that "miracle" that others seem to get, taking care of my situation just one time! LOL!

Sorry about your sweet baby.

Zero, I completely agree with

Zero, I completely agree with your venting about others "working" the system and other people. I have been physically disabled since I was 11 years old, I've worked since I was 16 (on and off during school age) went to college, grad school and continue to work even though I could probably give up and collect a check after going broke for about a year lol.

As for your cat problem, I used to be a Vet. Physical Therapist and I suggest consulting other Vets in your area before seeing a specialist (personally they are just glorified and more expensive ), another Vet could have some alternatives that have yet to be proposed to you.

Thank you for the advice.

I'm a man and try to fix

I'm a man and try to fix problems first. I forgot to extend my empathy as well, I believe in my own heart that there is a place in Heaven for our beloved pets, I have to, I have lost so many furry children and friends over the years that Heaven wouldn't be complete without them. Thinking about loosing one is devastating,(yes even right now thinking about it, I tear up). Love and spoil on your beloved kitty, if you can help her(?) medically great, otherwise let her know she is loved. Now I'm all tight in the chest.

As much as I try to remember

As much as I try to remember that I don't know another person's complete circumstances, I get exactly what you are saying. You are right, there are some that only take from society and never give.

It's frustrating as hell at times. And a disgrace to those that take and give when able. Some people have no shame or pride.

As far as your cat goes, I'm sorry. That's a hard situation. What odds did the specialist give? I will tell you that I called my last dog my 10 thousand dollar buddy with good reason. There were choices made that were not financially smart but I don't regret it at all. In fact, I wish I had gotten him a steak weekly and spoil my others more now because of him.

Whatever you decide will be right, Zero.

Thank you so much. I think

Thank you so much.

I think it makes it harder because my oldest cat is 16 and doesn't have that many more years. So I already stress about losing her. Then this cat, he's 9 and has a brother and his brother is going to be so sad with him gone I know eventually I will have to deal with it, but it still makes me sad.

Of course it makes you sad. I

Of course it makes you sad. I think having your child attached to the pet makes it even harder.

When my DD lost her first cat during surgery to neuter, it was so hard to witness her pain (I loved that guy too). I remember a friend telling me that kids learn about life and death from pets first.

Then first DH died. My 10k buddy had been in my DD'S life since I was pregnant. When he passed 5 years after first DH, it represented the end of our original family. DD said it much better, "it's the end of an era". I swear we grieved harder when he passed.

I don't blame you one bit for feeling the way you do Zero. I'm upset for you. Hugs.

to add to robin's thought,

to add to robin's thought, carefully consider the furbaby's quality of life. granny mentioned above her experience that she wishes she'd handled differently. my parents made that same decision with two family pets, my guess is they regret it also (dog had to be carried around and also lost control of his bladder/bowels, cat ended up having multiple daily seizures - both ended up being put down, but in my opinion it should have been done sooner).

i took care of g-pa because if not he would have suffocated to death. aside from that on all other fronts, he was/is healthy as a horse. i've had him over 9 years and prior to this he had only been sick ONCE (he drank from a mudpuddle- i jerked his chain but he apparently swallowed enough to give him the $#!ts the next day!!!) his quality of life now is the same as it was before, and he's got many more years left in him to live a long, happy and healthy life, in spite of his deafness and slightly weaker hips.

OP - you'll make the right decision. but it is infuriating to have to even make that decision, when you've got some floja who just takes the pet in and gets treated for free.

I agree Tuff. Quality of

I agree Tuff. Quality of life is important. When mine was eating, continent and still coming upstairs to sleep with me knowing darn well he couldn't get down, I knew he was happy. When that quality of life changed, I knew it was time.

Thank you everyone for

Thank you everyone for listening and letting me vent. I feel like I shouldn't take my "problem" out on anyone else. I'm just frustrated with it though. I've worked with her (we aren't on the same team now, but still sit in same office) for over 4 years so I have been dealing with this kind of behavior for years. It's like she gets special treatment for making bad life/financial decisions. The dog that got sick, they never should have even bought! The second dog they got, they took money out of their son's piggy bank to pay for half of it. No joke! (his Christmas and birthday money).

And here I am with a cat that I adopted and have taken care of and been smart about and I don't get that option of help.

And it's not even about the pets. It's overall... people like her. So frustrating and annoying. Just like BM. Just like my Ex (BS's dad).

I just try to be grateful for everything I do have and I am really blessed, so I have to keep remembering that.

Thank you. I feel a little

Thank you. I feel a little guilty because I'm thinking, there is someone who has it worse then me... so why am I complaining?

Awww prayers for your baby. My 16 year old cat, I have had since I've been 21. When she passes I'm going to be a mess. She is my daughter in every sense. I just love her so much. She's been around basically my whole adult life, so it's going to be really hard when she's gone.

Yep - owner of a senior pet

Yep - owner of a senior pet here.

My beloved kitty, Sheba, is starting to show me some signs that she is failing. Peeing outside the litter box because she can't move as fast as she used to, painfully "meowing" for no apparent reason. I took her to the vet and was told that she is showing signs of "renal distress."

Ugh - she is 17 and I have had her for 14 years. I am going to be a WRECK when she crosses the bridge.