BM showing up at the hospital??? Is there a line that this woman isnt going to cross?
As much as I would like to hope that BM has found some sort of boundaries within her relationship with my FH I think that I was clearly in denial about my hopes lol. FH's grandma a ripe 96 year old sweetheart is on her last legs and is in the hospital trying to keep as positive as possible and still sharp as a whistle. We were told after a long saga with doctors and specialists that she has full blown cancer and that it is just a matter of time before she just doesn't wake up one day. We felt that while she is still having "good days" that FH should bring SS to go and see her before its too late. This would of course mean calling up the wicked witch of the west to plead for her to let us take SS to go see his great grandma.
Last friday was grandmas 96th birthday and we all decided to throw a party for her even though we werent even sure if she was going to make it to that day. When Fh called BM to ask if he could take SS to the party she was more concerned about SS missing his first swimming lesson then how important seeing his great grandmother.
Although she led on that it was no problem and that she was doing us such a huge favor by letting SS go to the party she made an efort herself ...and her family to call up my FH's grandpa and decided that it was "grandpas wishes" that she and her family be there for this birthday party. When she told FH that she was planning on going to the party he simply told her that she was not welcome to go there nor does his grandma want anything to do with her she said that it was "grandpas wishes that she be there and that the only way that she wouldn't go is is grandpa said so"... she really upsets grandma because BM uses SS as a tool to stay in the family. She also thoughtfully mentioned that FH should go tot he party early so that he can leave by the time that she gets there. THIS IS NOT HER FAMILY ANYMORE RIGHT?!?!? After a whole comotion about the invite FH calls up grandpa and he made sure to call BM back and clarify that she was not welcome to the party, when BM was told that she just made plans to show up when no one was there. She did show up and brought SS with her to get the one up on FH and she made a big commotion about her still being in the family and she wrote grandma a big letter and brought flowers and did the whole thing.
Dont get me wrong I get the "paying your respects and all" but isnt there a limit, this lady is a psyco and still thinks that she is on a seperation with my FH. I can understand that for a few short years she was in his family, but does anyone get where I am comming from on this? I jut wanted to hit the roof, not only did I feel offended but I was so angry about her mission to come to this party at the hospital...
I would have flipped the
I would have flipped the f%@! out. I deal with the same type of BM. They have no boundaries.
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"
Boundaries are vital
I have had the same issue except that it was the BM's great grandmother dying in the hospital and she called up my DH and asked that we come to the hospital that her grandmother was asking to see him and wanted to meet me! WTF?
The more I have to deal with the BM the more I know that she needs boundaries. She trys to sabotage our plans all the time and has a hard time with the fact that she is no longer in the family. Ugh.
So what happened?
Put her on an exclusion list and have hospital security deal
with her next time.
How a rational adult would ever come to the conclusion that it is appropriate to willfully disobey the wishes of the family of a dieing 96 year old is beyond me.
Having her marched out of the hospital in hand cuffs is the only solution to her complete lack of contact with the real world.
Good luck and best regards,
I know where you're coming from.
BM is such a rude bitch. She likes to walk into people's houses without knocking, especially MIL's. Like... DH and I will be eating dinner with his parents and sister and BM will just barge right in and interrupt everything.
MIL won't say anything because she's scared that if she says anything, BM will lash out on DH. FIL blew on her that last time, and she has never gone to their house... I thought it was funny.
This woman knows no boundaries whatsoever.
And neither does yours, apparently! A card would have been just fine...
I Like What....
Lifegoeson said about BM destroying the life that she wanted. My husbands ex is the same way. She didnt want him, cheated on him and initiated the divorce but as soon as I came into the picture she started contacting his family, sharing the holidays with them, etc. I am sympathetic to what you are going through and hope that you find a way to keep her from doing this to your family quicker than I did!
Crystal How did you keep her from doing
this to your family?
T
T
Yep, The Bm of my SD showed
Yep, The Bm of my SD showed up at hospital when I was in labor...WTF, did she think I was gonna welcome her?? HELL NO!!! She said she wanted to b there with SD.. HEllo my own sons werent even there.. who the hell invited them???
Just when you think people
Just when you think people can't get any crazier .. WOW .. just shocking!!!
you sound just like you us
you sound just like you us having "boundaries" with the X and they just constantly try to ignore them. My FH has been divorced almost 7 years and from the time my FH and BM got a divorce she didn't attend family functions or anything for that matter.
About a year and a half ago my FH died of cancer and while he was dying BM mom wanted to come over to visit my FH's dying brother,(he was dying in his home with hospice care) she wanted to do this with us there visiting as well, at first FH's family said it was ok, but when they seen how much FH was upset my FH told his family you can either have BM here, or us, take your pick. So my FH's family called her back and told her that it wasn't a good idea that she come around.
BM is such a bitch and doesn't ever learn her boundaries. She did attend the funeral.