Huuummmmm.... anyone else get this??

Forums:

My sd (8) is a great little girl. I love her to bits and I think she like me too

BUT.... whenever bf is around she turns into an incredibly whiney, needy, "DAAAADDDDYYY" crying little girl..... I finally asked her this morning why she only does that when her "daaaadddddyyyy" is around..... know what she said??..... "Because he gives me attention when I whine"

I don't know how to get this accross to bf.... this child in particular is totally babied by bf.... not only that but I cannot stand how he lets it go.... lets it go.... lets it go.... and then BAM! Hes screaming at her to "shut up!!" Which by the way does NOTHING other than make her cry and whine even louder.

Same with SS (3).... this kid is a great kid.... but as soon bf walks in the door he begins hitting, yelling, talking back, and whining....

Now I'm no sait and I know that bf would point this out if he reads this.... my bio's are not perfect... my dd is whiney and BOTH of my bios talk back like no other.... which is entirely MY fault because I taught them to ask questions to anyone (even to authority) if they don't understand why they are being told to do something.... my daughter also is clingy, whiney and has BIG entitlement issues.... to be blunt she is a spoiled brat.... my son is an awesome kid but man does he love to argue absolutely EVERYTHING!

Its much easier for me to point out where bf needs to work on things but at the same time I can see clearly what is going on and I don't know how to keep quiet OR how to bring this up to him.... We've talked about how its a fact that its easier to see other's faults and we've both said that we should be able to tell the other where they are going wrong.... but anytime I try to say something about his kids or his parenting he gets mad and instead of listening to what I have to say he just starts pointing out all of my faults.... So I don't know how to talk to him about this but I do know that I'm tired of the screaming, hitting, whining, yelling and craziness that begins the moment "daaaadddddyyyyy" walks through the door.... Everything is fine and kids are great before he gets home.... (FYI, I pick skids up from daycare and have them alone before bf gets home)....

NOTE....

Don't know how I inserted the faces.... oops!! Meant to say that SD is (8) but a face showed up!

what the hell!!

Just trying to say that SD is EIGHT!! Whats with the freaking face showing up?

Sounds familiar..........

I have a SD8 also and she used to be really whiney when she would see her daddy too. She would also try this crap on me all the time and I just ignored her. I mean I love this child, but every night she has an ache or pain somewhere and she will whine about it. She will screw up her little face and say "my face hurts when I do this" and I just say well, stop doing that. Or she'll point to a spot on her arm (completely normal spot) and say it hurts right here and I'll say I don't see anything, and I can't help you with something I don't even see. I say this in a very loving way, mind you. Sometimes when she starts with the first few words in her sentence, I will say or do something to distract her and this works like a charm. Maybe you could try this when daddy comes home. One day say something like "WHO WANTS ICE CREAM? If you want ice cream come over here and sit down and be very quiet and you will get a bowl."
Don't worry, if you ignore the behavior and don't be a party to it like the bioparents tend to be, she will eventually grow out of it and remember this behavior is extremely manipulative and is a learned behavior. That means you can "unlearn" it.
Good Luck!

******My daddy always said: "It's better to be a SMARTASS, than a DUMBASS!******

Ignoring....

I pretty much do ignore it once it begins which is once bf gets home.... the problem is that the noise level goes up 20 notches (which all the whining and yelling) and I can't take it! Plus, I feel that the minute bf gets home my rapor with sd instantly dissapears.... we go from talking, here helping me in the kitchen, going through her school papers, etc... to suddenly I'm ignoring her and shes ignoring me and the noise is getting louder and louder!