Your anger is related to the person not the action. She is lazy AND she would have asked for help under any other circumstance (i.e., I CANNNN'TTT UUUSSEEE the TOOOOOAAAAASSSTTTERRR). You're made because she is basically helpless like a child but expects to be able to make adult decisions with your stuff. She has her own car and she should be using it. My parents would have beat my ass if I took one of their cars without permission. In fact, at 17, I couldn't take ANY car without permission (even my own). You're angry because she is irresponsible and she is making decisions that could affect you. What if she gets in an accident in the truck? Guess you won't be able to sell it. Will that be okay with dh? Will she be expected to pay you what you may have gotten for it?

The thing is your dh will never see things the way you do. This would be true of you biokids as well. I'm not the best person to ask if you're out to get her because honestly I feel this way about my own SD. She is such a pita that I actually expect her to piss me off.

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

Entitlement kid. We have a similar story--my DH left his Jeep in his hometown while we were away--trying to sell it--and gave BM the keys in case anyone wanted to drive it. To buy it. SD was NOT to have it. Well, guess what, she ended up driving it and called DH, 2000 miles away, with news that it overheated. Isn't that special? Fortunately the engine wasn't ruined, she was with someone who noticed and turned off the car right away. Talk about ruining the rest of our trip.
But that episode is so typical of that household. BM is USELESS! Either SD stole the keys or bullied BM into giving them to her. All based on SD's mistaken belief that she owns everything her parents have.
TG we live 1000 miles away. SD is finally growing up, too--after becoming a single mom.

similar here too...SS10 got to start saxaphone lessons last week, which he's wanted. He also takes piano lessons and his BM has him on a basketball team that fills up Sat and Sun afternoons with games right smack in the middle. The sax lessons caused some disagreement with FH and me b/c I felt SS should wait until the basketball season was over- I don't believe in kids getting to do/be involved in everything they want. And OH, I forgot to add that SS has no responsibilities at home when he is with us (50%) of the time-- NOTHING. He leaves the toilet seat up and then laughs about it, he doesn't take his dishes from the table into the kitchen (and it would NEVER occur to him to offer to help unload the dishwasher or help anyone with anything). HE doesn't shower every day, he doesn't make his bed, he doesn't clean up his things unless asked. He doesn't know how to pour himself a bowl of cereal, and would leave his things in the car for his dad to carry up before it would occur to him to do it. Last week, I unloaded groceries from the car and stood there talking to him, struggling with carry 6 bags of food up and he never ever once said a single thing (didn't even notice I had a lot in my hands!)...he is treated like an adult by FH, mostly (though this is changing and therapy is helping). He gets all kinds of privleges- camping trips to places like Death Valley, FH is discussing a cell phone with him.
All this, and last Saturday we realized that an IBook that we thought was dead actually isn't. Great! A revived household computer. Within an hour SS had it in his room, on his desk, and plugged in. He just assumed it could be his since his dad and I both have computers from our work.
I said nothing. The laptop is still there. FH promises me this weekend he will have the talk about responsibility and privlege with him. I am trying to be hopeful! But truly don't hold out much hope.
I grew up in a divorced family-- my mom had primary custody. And being with FH and SS-- who moves 2-3X/week between his parents house-- I don't know that I think 50/50 custody is good. There is no rythem, parents feel guilty and each one wants to win him over from the other (BM enrolled him in the basketball without talking to us about it; after his game last Sunday he opened up his gym bag and there was a KingSize Reeses's; we don't buy this kind of food at all. SS was all smiles that his mom had left him a treat).
So, I'm not surprised by your DH. Parents seem to do a lot out of guilt and b/c of the dysfunctional emotional stuff that exists b/c of divorce and wanting their kids with them more.

This is what makes me mad with these situations, if it was MY bio daughter, I would have called her, gave her a what for, went to the school and switched cars. Then that night I would have told her she now gets NO driving privledges the rest of the week BECAUSE she did so without clearing it with me. Come to think of it, she would not have done it because she would ALREADY know what the consequences would be!! It may be harsh, but I bet she won't do it again. DH on the other hand would tell her she shouldn't have done that...then do nothing about it.

I understand your frustration. I am in a similar situation. SD-17 feels that she is entitled to everything she has and WE have - without asking.

She is now pregnant. She told her father it was HIS responsibility to take care of her and her child because it's our jobs as her parent. WHAT??!!!

When I came into this family, SD was use to getting her way on everything. Dad didn't see a problem with this either. Slowly he is starting to see my point -----

But my frustration is off the charts. So much has happened that I can't see past my hurt, frustration and anger. So anything she does gets on my nerves.