Do You View The Following As Normal Traits? (3rd party reference)
First, and right off. I am asking as a 3rd party, so don't come down hard on me. Thanks.
Secondly, I am honestly looking for self confirmation and not advice which tells me what to do with another adult's child. (I have my own, whom happens to be grown and already on his own.)
SK is 6 years old and display's the following:
Not able to even hold laces to ties shoes yet.*
Not able to clean themselves after using restroom without parental help.*
Not able to put Lego's together much less form some type of "structure" with them.*
Not able to hold eating utentsils.*
Abusive behind parent's back towards animals.*
Needs assistance with things such as; pouring drinks, making sure food stays on plates, etc...*
.................................................
It gets better:
Does not recall simple "A, B, C's " *
Holds book upside down? *
Loves to "flash" me. * ummmmmm.
Requires 24/7 attention from NCP. *
Cries insanely (minus tears)when not given their way.*
Still needs "training wheels" (even though bike is too small)*
Will not "let go" of the fact that a carseat is way too small.*
Demands to be taken out to eat at favorite fast food joint.*
(Notice the age incliment skills when manipulation is involved)
Other various factors include; (quickly)
Tounge hanging out while sitting, scooping food onto table with spoon, not willing to bathe themselves, wipe, play ALONE, repeated playtimes include playing with toys for 3 and under.
How is this child to begin school next year and NO this is NOT MY job to fix.
I'm willing only to print out and give limited advice as this is far beyond my control now.
Thank you. (Darwin was correct in many areas yet he had it backwards, stupidity is now outbreeding intellect. Not visa versa)
...And to add. Yes, it is
...And to add. Yes, it is partially genetic in my observations past.
The less intelligent parents do tend to have less than average offspring. No amount of "one on one" can change this fact.
There is however the random genius that comes from this type of genetic lineup.
Well my sd is 6 and she is
Well my sd is 6 and she is able to do all those things. She learned how to ride her bike and tie her shoes at the beginning of the year when she just turned 6. She is still kinda messy eater, but not horrible.
I think your DH needs to get
I think your DH needs to get this child professional help.
That is a given. CP refuses
That is a given.
CP refuses to do such a thing right now, so I am the best it will get for now in regards to a professional.
I knew this was needed. I was looking for the experience of others whom may have gone through this themselves.
Thanks.
The CO issue is an entirely
The CO issue is an entirely seperate problem at the moment as NCP has attempted to claim F/T CO.
No go.
First off, am I wrong to
First off, am I wrong to assume this is a boy? I didn't notice if you mentioned gender in your post, but I assumed this based on some of the activities, so please correct me if I am wrong because I do think that can be a factor in what's considered "normal" behavior in children. On top of that, let me also say that I believe what's considered "normal" can sometimes be subjective and vary widely.
Ok, that said, do I think these activities are "normal" for a 6yo boy? I really don't know, but for comparison purposes I can say that my BS who just turned 6yo this past Thursday has been able to play independently since he was 2yo, but then he was the only child of a single mother with few relatives around. BS6 also desires and tries his best to be independent in alot of other ways, including brushing his teeth, bathing, wiping, etc. He may not always get it "right", but that is part of the learning process so I allow him to try and then I "help" finish the job the "right" way where and when he needs it.
As for the "ABCs" and other learning abilities, well my BS6 has known his ABCs for years and began reading very elementary words & sentences about a year ago. BS6 can also do the first part of tying his shoes (hasn't got the "bunny ears" down yet, but he's trying), is doing some simple addition & subtraction, and can count by 10s to 100, etc.
Now I will say that I have read to BS6 regularly since he was a toddler and he attends a very good public elementary school where he consistently scores above average on standardized tests and will be going to the 1st grade next month. I also have a Master's degree and work in a career where I am relied upon for my analytical abilities and am the sole expert in my field in the entire large corporation that I work for. On top of this, even the devil donor managed to get a major public university to give him a Bachelor's degree even though his "intelligence" is "questionable" IMO (he has narcissistic personality disorder & fits many of the characteristics in the "sociopath" thread), so I suppose good old fashioned genetics may play a role in this as well.
Is my BS6 "normal"? Well in some ways I would say "yes" and in some ways "no". My BS6 may be "above average" in intelligence but is definitely average to below average in some of his behavior IMO. I've had some concerns over the years regarding BS6's "sexual exploration" (touching his private parts") as well as his HIGHLY ENERGETIC behavior (ADHD?) but I've been assured by his pediatrician, teacher and other child professionals on more than one occasion that this behavior can be considered "normal" for a boy BS6's age, so I just consider them MY "issues" and try not to make a big deal out of them even if they do make me uncomfortable.
Just a quick note, my BS6's "sexual exploration" does appear to be diminishing somewhat in terms of it being socially unacceptable to him to do it around other people (just like the Dr's said it would) & I watched for signs of sexual abuse (such as him trying to touch others or have others touch him) and haven't noticed any so at least I feel better about this now too.
I'm sure this is probably much more of a response than you were looking for, but sometimes I find it easier to gauge for myself what I consider to be "normal" based on the actual experiences of others versus simply other people's opinions.
Questions: Has your SS been evaluated for a possible developmental delay? This was my thought when reading your list of some of his behaviors. Either way, I hope your SS gets the help he needs.
Actually, I found your post
Actually, I found your post quite interesting and just what I was hoping for.
I am "picking up" the pieces here for only a year so therefor being in this child's life prior was not an option.(coddled)
I can only do so much. This is to blame on his parents actually as I had no hand in prior upbringing. CP refuses to even let said child even be with me. (and no, there is no reason except perhaps that I married her ex-husband)
As for your child in comparison to the one in reference, you far excell. I only wished that I had been around in the earlier years to help with these types of basic life skills. We have one parent here who barely has a middle school education :? and another who tends to feel guilty over addressing this issue.
So...that leaves only "just a stepmom", in the picture right now. }:)
Thank you for your valuable input/ insight.
Glad I could help!
Glad I could help!
My BF daughter is older than
My BF daughter is older than your SS. She tries to hold on to being a small child too...wont do simple tasks that she is more than capable of doing. She talks in baby talk...even "sucks" on a tea bottle like a small child when she drinks. She can not entertain her self independently. I think it has to do with being coddled and spoiled, perhaps they have a fear of growing up and that maybe their gravy train will be over if they get older because their current manipulations might not work once they get older. I really don't know and I am no expert...
It sounds like it could be
It sounds like it could be anything from a spoiled child to a kid with aspergers (mild autism). I think you should take the kid to a professional.
You are correct that CPS does
You are correct that CPS does zero when it comes to emotional abuse as DH has worked this so-called avenue before in many jurisdictions;
That said, NO amount of documenting and money helps. The courts simply do not care because they are at their max overload, as I type.
Now...this scenario would be a different matter if CP was out on the streets (besides playing "victim" to neighbors) and selling crack with SK trying to open up a can of Spaghetti O's all by themselves, surrounded by dealers, etc. then they just MIGHT act.
It's a losing battle being a SM/ observer. We have no legal base and a slim chance of actually helping these beings.
I'm for rescuing sea turtle eggs, more comes from that anyday.
Thanks everyone.
LOL@Crayon
LOL@Crayon