Alright, I'm new here, and having read several posts already, I can say I already feel some relief knowing I'm not alone in my feelings.
My fiance has a 5 year old daughter that stays with us about 99% of the time. On the rare occasion that bio dad wants to step up and see her, she's gone for maybe two nights at the most - usually over a weekend.
I'm starting to feel horribly depressed and resentful and jealous on a regular basis. I feel terrible for having these feelings, but I just can't seem to stop them.
My fiance is in school three days a week, for very long hours, so I'm working to afford our household bills. I work nearly every single day of the week to make up what I need to, considering we have almost no help with my soon to be step daughter. I work until she needs to be picked up from school, and then I take her home and watch her until it's time to pick up my fiance. When I'm home, I'm cooking and cleaning, taking care of basically every aspect of the house, as well as catering to my sd. When my fiance gets home, she spends her time with her daughter until it's time for her to go to sleep. What drives me crazy is that at least half the time, she's putting her to bed in our bed. Either that, or sd later crawls in to our bed. My fiance doesn't mind, oftentimes pulling back the covers for her to get in next to her. I am a terrible sleeper, so every movement wakes me. I've been sleeping on the couch at least a couple times a week because I get so frustrated.
Me and my fiance have absolutely no time together on top of that. When she gets home from school, and after she spends time with her child, she's usually so tired and falls right to sleep. Even on her non-school days, she's working in those extra hours, so I'm watching my sd again, so it's back to the housewife chores.
I've tried several times to talk to my fiance about spending more time together, or not having her child in our bed every single night, but that only infuriates her because she thinks I'm being selfish and don't want her child around. Well, that's becoming true. every attempt to plan some time together turns in to a fight about how she hardly ever even sees her child, so if she has any free time, she'll be spending it with her child, and I'm welcome to come along.
I don't know what to do. I am aware that a child should be a parents priority, but at this point, where do I fit in? I feel like even my emotions have to be on a schedule to cater to everyone else.
I have band practice one night a week, and even that can cause fights if it doesn't correspond to her schedule.
I'm running out of patience, and my depression is worsening. I don't even know how to talk to her without offending her about my sd.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.