THIS needs to be what you say when people say, "You knew he had kids"
"Yes...I knew he had kids, and and he knew I didn't...soo what's your point?"
This is what I tell people and I have YET to have somebody comeback...Usually I have enough time to toss something in their mouths they leave it hanging open so long...
Then I go on to tell them that DH had a child I didn't...The onus of making that fit is on HIM not me...NEXT!
For real...I'm on a one woman's quest to turn the tables and change perspectives...
The first time I told my mom I told somebody that she literally fell on the floor laughing...She said, "OMG...If you aren't your grandmother's child!" My grandmother is known for telling people to STFU (even at 85), and I've inherited THAT from her...
People don't have a comeback because they see my perspective...If if doesn't make sense to you let me help you with said perspective...
He has a child...and? I don't...So?? Him having a child doesn't give him a pass or set expectations for what I should or shouldn't accept...
Further down in what I wrote I spoke to the fact that the onus of making the whole thing fit (him having a child..bringing that into the relationship) was on HIM...
He's bringing "something" to the relationship...That "something" is his child...The responsibility of making that fit into our relationship first starts with HIM. So the majority of the issues that I've had with him centered around HIM not parenting or making what he brought to the table integrate...
That's all I got...I've never had anybody not "get that" so...yeah...it might be just you at this point, lol...
I totally get it....and its something I've said in the past as well.
"Hey, you knew I DIDN'T have kids". Society's (and DH's) expectation is that the woman should somehow wrap her life around him, and his ready made family, in order for the relationship to work. She should, i.e.: move to the neighbourhoud/town/city/school district in which the children live. She should put her thoughts on having her own children (or more children) either on hold or forget that plan altogether because it doesn't work with "his ready made life/family/children". She should tolerate/deal with/be abused by the BM. And on and on. Why? Its alllll for the kids.
Why though?
Why shouldn't divorced parents see it the other way. The attitude is "take me, take my kids".
It should be: "I have kids, so how can we compromise our life together to make it work".
In successful relationships this happens.
But in unsuccessful relationships, it doesn't and the rest of the world sides with the divorced parent, i.e.: "you knew he had kids".
"you don't know because you don't have kids" was my husbands favorite line before we had DS1. Now he ALWAYS says "You don't know because you've never been divorced and not gotten to see you kid everyday" It just makes me want to say keep it up and I'll be one step closer to understanding when I file for divorce...
That's like saying "you knew I had a dog" when a spouse complains that their parnter's pet potties on the floor, tears up the furniture, eats the drywall and expensive shoes, and doesn't obey basic obedience commands. Sure, I knew there was a dog, but I assumed you had taken 15 minutes a day and trained it. I had no idea it was the asshole of the universe.
People who raise their children to be jerks shouldn't be surprised when others don't like those children.
Girl...No... THIS needs to be
Girl...No...
THIS needs to be what you say when people say, "You knew he had kids"
"Yes...I knew he had kids, and and he knew I didn't...soo what's your point?"
This is what I tell people and I have YET to have somebody comeback...Usually I have enough time to toss something in their mouths they leave it hanging open so long...
Then I go on to tell them that DH had a child I didn't...The onus of making that fit is on HIM not me...NEXT!
For real...I'm on a one woman's quest to turn the tables and change perspectives...
The first time I told my mom I told somebody that she literally fell on the floor laughing...She said, "OMG...If you aren't your grandmother's child!" My grandmother is known for telling people to STFU (even at 85), and I've inherited THAT from her...
No...I don't see what you
No...I don't see what you mean...But eh...
People don't have a comeback because they see my perspective...If if doesn't make sense to you let me help you with said perspective...
He has a child...and? I don't...So?? Him having a child doesn't give him a pass or set expectations for what I should or shouldn't accept...
Further down in what I wrote I spoke to the fact that the onus of making the whole thing fit (him having a child..bringing that into the relationship) was on HIM...
He's bringing "something" to the relationship...That "something" is his child...The responsibility of making that fit into our relationship first starts with HIM. So the majority of the issues that I've had with him centered around HIM not parenting or making what he brought to the table integrate...
That's all I got...I've never had anybody not "get that" so...yeah...it might be just you at this point, lol...
I totally get it....and its
I totally get it....and its something I've said in the past as well.
"Hey, you knew I DIDN'T have kids". Society's (and DH's) expectation is that the woman should somehow wrap her life around him, and his ready made family, in order for the relationship to work. She should, i.e.: move to the neighbourhoud/town/city/school district in which the children live. She should put her thoughts on having her own children (or more children) either on hold or forget that plan altogether because it doesn't work with "his ready made life/family/children". She should tolerate/deal with/be abused by the BM. And on and on. Why? Its alllll for the kids.
Why though?
Why shouldn't divorced parents see it the other way. The attitude is "take me, take my kids".
It should be: "I have kids, so how can we compromise our life together to make it work".
In successful relationships this happens.
But in unsuccessful relationships, it doesn't and the rest of the world sides with the divorced parent, i.e.: "you knew he had kids".
Isn't it funny this whole
Isn't it funny this whole "you don't know because you don't have kids?" Uhhhmmm...yep.
woman: "oh honey, let's have a baby..."
man: "nope, we can't...you've never HAD kids so you wouldn't know how to raise them"
LOL but somehow, that it's ok for them to tell US that...isn't that hilarious??? idiots
"you don't know because you
"you don't know because you don't have kids" was my husbands favorite line before we had DS1. Now he ALWAYS says "You don't know because you've never been divorced and not gotten to see you kid everyday" It just makes me want to say keep it up and I'll be one step closer to understanding when I file for divorce...
LMAO "keep it up and i'll be
LMAO
"keep it up and i'll be one step closer to understanding when i file for divorce..."
LOVE IT hahaha
That's like saying "you knew
That's like saying "you knew I had a dog" when a spouse complains that their parnter's pet potties on the floor, tears up the furniture, eats the drywall and expensive shoes, and doesn't obey basic obedience commands. Sure, I knew there was a dog, but I assumed you had taken 15 minutes a day and trained it. I had no idea it was the asshole of the universe.
People who raise their children to be jerks shouldn't be surprised when others don't like those children.
ROFLMAO!!!
ROFLMAO!!!
Oh...and don't get me started
Oh...and don't get me started on the whole...."you don't have kids so what do you know?" or "you're not a parent".
Just because I didn't push a baby out of my vagina doesn't preclude me from having common sense.
Love the dog comparison. Same
Love the dog comparison. Same here, my biokids i share custody 50/50. I didnt lose my common sense on how to raise them