I sympathize with you also. I have to constantly tell the steps to stop yelling. The most aggravating part is that it doesn't bother DH at all. He just tunes them out and acts like he can't hear anything. He doesn't understand that they aren't my kids and so when they yell it doesn't sound like the magical fluttering of angel wings.

I have had the same issues, but I have gotten my children to learn the difference between inside voice and outside voice. and we have implemented the "No child anywhere other then their bedroom" rule... Meaning, our children can play in their room, and only their room until an adult is fully awake and out of bed... If they are in the living room etc with out supervision say at 7:30 in the morning, then there extra chores for them to complete.

As for the volume control, They also have extra chores if their mouths wake DH or I. I refuse to be woken up by screaming and screeching. And I'll be damned if they are not going to follow rules.... As far as video games are concerned, they play then if and only if their behavior was decent enough to play, meaning, no sassing, no screaming, no running in the house and so on....

I remember this well! All three skids would walk around like sumo wrestlers, stomping, yelling, screaming, being unusually rough with things. Breaking stuff all the time. Of course GG thought it was no big deal that they were doing damage because he could simply fix it being the AWESOME handyman that he is (insert giant eyeroll).

VD in particular had this laugh where it would sound like literally a cross between screaming and crying. It would wind up like a 767 engine and was so annoying I wanted to run through a plate glass window!!!

It all stems from being told that they're the center of the universe. . .that everything revolves around them and therefore they are never taught consideration of others.

LOL at Stepmonster and the "magical fluttering of angel wings"! My DH does the same thing - tunes them out. I told him the other day, all the kids are in school and know what "inside voices" are. They do it here, because you let them get away with it. Most of the time, if he tells them they're being too loud, they'll just close the bedroom door, and keep making the same racket.

I used to try to make them feel guilty, at one point we lived in an apartment, and I'd try to get them to understand that everyone around us could hear them. The people below us had a baby, and the skids would hear the baby cry, and we'd tell them, YOU did that, jumping around and being loud and stupid. Don't wake the baby. Then they'd be quiet for 2 seconds, then right back to random screaming and jumping around.

He won't let me use the duct tape though! Or cut off their feet to get them to stop running! I swear, I'd only have to do it to one...

@Auteur - I agree. I told my DH the other day that his oldest needed to learn he wasn't the center of Daddy's (or my) universe. DH got all offended. I said no, not the "you'll do anything for your kid" part, but the "drop everything and answer to his every beck and call, everyone pay attention to him at all times, not think of anyone else" part. Surprisingly, he agreed. Now...how do we do that? LOL

gawd i remember going through that shit. dh was like "it doesn't bother me...blah blah" I said, "that doesn't mean it doesn't bother OTHER PEOPLE."
I fortunately don't have to deal with it anymore because ss doesn't come here. But i feel your pain.
Unfortunately my dd is a LOUD TALKER. Gawd, she is loud. Drives me frickin nuts. I'm still trying to tackle that one. LOL

Yep, same here. Skid are Soooo loud all the time, for no reason. I come from a very quiet calm family, and these kids are the complete opposite. So I know that some of it is me being sensitive to the noise, as I wasn't raised that way, but my god, these kids are never quiet unless you make them.

They aren't allowed out of their beds until 7am, period. I don't care if they've been awake since 4am. They can lay there and stare at the ceiling till 7. Then then may watch tv quietly in their rooms until everyone is up. If their tvs get turned up and wake me or the baby up, they go back to laying in their beds until everyone is up.

The rest of the time its a losing battle. They yell/talk constantly, and every conversation turns into an argument. They run through the house, yell to each other on opposite ends of the house rather than just walkcand have a conversation face to face. Tv are constantly being turned up to blaring, they will sing at the top of their lungs, any game with a volume control it put on the highest setting. It's maddening. Dh comes from a much louder and crazier family than I, and he has a slightly hard time hearing, so he just tunes it out no problem.

The only way to get them to shut up is to literally not allow them to talk. There is no moderation with them. Either they are silent.cause you just flipped on them, or they are a level 10 of energy and noise. Nothing in the middle.

Auteur - this was the kid that lives with us full time, so my tolerance level is even less, because it's ALL DAY, EVERY DAY. The other two do it when they come over on the "entitlement weekends" as you call them, but their stuff lies more in the direction of "Daddy, can you do _____ for me because I can't do it" (umm...the kid's been putting his own straw in his juice box/buckling his seat belt/etc for a LONG time. Make him do it.). It's stupid, the baby-ish behavior, but at least they leave. And I think DH likes babying them and feeling needed, especially the princess, because of the "special bond" he thinks he has with her.

Peanut - I WISH I could get them to stay in their beds and stay quiet, they won't even stay in their rooms! I'm contemplating padlocks...and soundproofing. LOL

I will say, though, back to the original topic....since my skids are younger, The Quiet Game works. Sometimes. We've played it successfully in the car (screaming in a closed vehicle, awesome, who needs ear drums?) and at the grocery store, and one time it lasted a good 15-20 minutes!

And for TV's and video games...I would tell them "turn it down or turn it off," and no arguing/yelling. If they can't stick to that, take it away. Other than that...I'm at a loss. I can't figure it out with my skids either.

It took a while to get it through their heads that I was serious. I had to enforce stiff penalties for a few weeks to get them to comply. Basically anyone who didn't follow the rules had to sit on their bed in a time out until breakfast was ready, which depending on how early they decided to get up (as early as 415 am!) could have been hours, and repeat offenders had tv taken away until lunchtime. I had a new baby that I was breastfeeding every two hours all night long and i was beyond sleep deprived and had zero patience for thier BS anymore.

I also have them full time, so I know what you mean about the noise wearing down your tolerance level. It's like they are having a secret contest between them, who can be the loudest and most obnoxious.

I totally relate. Actually two weekends ago I had a chat with my fiance because this was the second Friday night in a row where my ears hurt - as if I had been at a concert - at the end of an evening. And I don't even get home until 6! I told him I can't damage my hearing weekly. Just like other people mentioned here - I come from a quiet home and was quiet when I was a child (it was enforced). So constant talking at level 8 is just overwhelming. I feel affronted. The worst is my 10 year old SS who has pretty bad ADHD and he should be an announcer at sporting event he has such powerful pipes. His voice is actually quite nice, I've come to discover when he talks at a normal volume.

After talking with my fiance he had a talk with them as he was bringing them back to their BM. He's really wonderful with communicating with them. The reality is that they are used to being in a loud, high energy envirnment. Their BM is loud, their friends are loud, and their cousins are loud. But this is a different setting so he explained that. No - it hasn't changed over night - but I feel like now I can tell him "I'm 1 foot away from you - you're hurting my ears" - and he doesn't take it like he's doing something "bad" - which is important. They don't WANT to be super loud - they are just two high energy, extroverted children with anxiety issues.

On the Saturday morning thing - we created the "8:00 rule." No anything TV (because of the location), video games or talking in the living room. If they violate it, they get to stand in the corner for a while, or they may have to write about what rules they didn't follow, or now we have cereal for breakfast instead of pancakes. But we explain the impact. "When you're loud like that it wakes your dad and I up and then we can't sleep and that makes us sad."

But the real key is discussing then deciding on a plan of action WITH your DH, explaining it plainly and clearly to the kids in a non-accusing way, and then following through consistantly as a couple. So when they end up in the corner - you put the accountability on them. "I don't want you to stand in the corner for 10 minutes but you broke the 8:00 rule - sorry." You don't have to be mean about this stuff. I've found with my SK that if you explain something ahead of time clearly - and the consequences of not following the rule - then they take the correction or punishment in fairly good spirits because they know you warned them - and they broke the rules. But if you don't define specifically where the boundaries are between "okay" and "corner" (just to use that as an example) then they feel like they can't do anything right and get frustrated.

It's also important to define these boundaries "not on the battlefield." If their all frustrated and upset - it won't sit as well. Best to wait until their out of the corner and you can discuss it in a calm tone.

My struggle is that I was never like this when I was a kid. There is SO much I can't relate to. I wasn't spoiled, hyperactive, non-stop talker, loud. One thing my parents always did though was explain why I can't do something. There was never this "because I said so" stuff. I broke my fiance of that. At the beginning he was sending one or both of them into the corner like 5 times a night. I finally said - I don't think he understands why you're putting him there. Make him explain why he thinks you put him in the corner when he comes out. Well, turns out I was right. That changed everything. Maybe once a weekend he goes into the corner now. And if he does - he knows very well why he's in there.

Hope this helps - sorry it turned out so long. I just joined tonight - I need a peer group!