Am I the Only One Who Finds this A Little Odd???

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Ok, long story shot....

My ex has 2 boys from his ex (ages 12 and 9)that live with her. His ex got remarried and had a daughter with her husband (age 6). They used to live here and have moved 5 hours away about 6 months ago. Well, his ex and her husband are getting divorced because he left her for another woman. Anyways, this last time that the boys came for their visit, their mom asked my DH if we could watch HER daughter (that has NO relation to my DH whatsoever). I was completely blown away. She asked him right in front of all the kids and the boys were begging him to let their sister stay (it was easter). I caved and let her stay ONCE due to these circumstances. Well, I was talking with my not so DH tonight, and apparently his ex is moving back to town (great... NOT)!! I told him that I hope he knows that watching HER daughter was a one time thing and that she shouldn't get used to us taking her. HE CALLED ME PETTY!!!!!!! Seriously?!?!?!? Am I the only one that finds this absolutely absured?!?!? I think the real kicker is, is that I want kids, and I'm not so sure that my DH does, yet he expects me to take on his kids (which I have no problem with) AND HIS FREAKING EX'S KID!!!!!!! That has NO relation to my DH. Am I crazy?!?!?!

No you most certainly are

No you most certainly are not. Your BM sounds completely dysfunctional and you will not only be giving her free childcare but you will be increasing the exchanges between her and your family and you will be opening up your future children to risk from BM's spawn. This nearly happened in my marriage but luckily my DH, who normally has no boundaries, himself drew the line. When my 3 skids were teens, our BM had a further child by another man and obviously they were all in the home together with her and viewed themselves as full siblings. The BM tried to fob the baby/toddler onto my DH a couple of times when he went down to visit but he made it very clear, and makes it clear to his 3, that whilst he wished the other child all the well in the world he still didn't want to spend precious time with her or feel anything special for her as he wanted to focus on his own children at all times. How he presented it was that his children's attention was too valuable to him to share it with others. Maybe approach your DH from this angle saying that it could detract from his relationship with his boys?
You are not petty you are showing foresight and a protective instinct.

This is interesting. Of

This is interesting. Of course you are in the right, only a saint would take on the ex's kid. What confused me about the story is that you start by saying My ex has 2 boys...what does that have to do with the story? I think you mean that your DH has 2 boys with his ex?

I get pissed when BM tries to get us to take care of her dogs...never mind a kid! I feel bad for the boys and for the little girl though. I get that BM wants a day off...but PLEASE.

Your DH sounds like a nice guy (a.k.a. push over...I've got one too) but I'm sure he's good to you also. That's the trouble with nice guys...they refuse to be jerks to anyone.

I agree with you here however

I agree with you here however sometimes "nice guys" that are nice to everyone can turn on the one's they are closest to if they disagree with something that they think is reasonable, "Petty?" not a nice guy thing to say!

To the poster, maybe the little girls own dad isn't seeing her and it would be sad and difficult for her to understand why her brothers are going away for a few days and she is not. I know this is not your problem but it might be something to consider and i think you hit the nail on the head about you wanting kids yourself, it would be very difficult for you to take on yet another kid when you are not having any of your own. I feel for you this is a sad sad situation i hope you and your man talk openly about having children together and he is honest with you then you will have all the cards out on the table and you will be able to make some changes for you whatever that may be. Cos no one can change anyone else we can only change ourselves or the situation we are in and sometimes our changes cause others to change with us but sadly sometimes they dont and they get left behind. Do what is right for you. I truly hope you have your own kids some day very soon. Best of luck.

The little girl has seen her

The little girl has seen her brother's leave for weekends with their dad for as long as she has been alive. This was the first time she has been over (ever) and I KNOW that his ex will start to expect it. I just want my DH to be the one to tell her no! Not me! I'm sick of him making me look like the bad guy! I just don't feel that we need to care for yet another child (since she is not mine or my DH's)! I'm the one that does all the work for them anyways! I clean, get them ready for the day, get them off to bed and feed them!!

OH MY!!! I can now really see

OH MY!!! I can now really see your point, i used to do all sorts, cook, clean, play, make plans for the day, but as soon as i was being disrespected or my efforts were. i STOPPED!!!! I dont cook or tidy, (i do it all before they come of course) but while they are here and once they have left mp does it all. i wont put myself out if i am being disrespected by the kids or mp.
Maybe make plans to do something for you when he has the kids, then when he ask's you if it's ok if the little girl comes over you can say something like, "it's not up to me thats up to you cos you will be doing it all i have plans!!!" It's ok to help out, support and be apart of, but dont become used or taken for granted. Make plans for a nigth out with your friends and let him deal with the kids. Best of luck to you and dont forget you are apart of this family with thoughts and feelings that need to be heard too. If not make it happen, make him see how hard it would be without all your love, support and help, not by leaving but by leaving it to him while you do something for you.