Do any of you who have disengaged do your skids washing??
I have told SS15 and DH that I am not going to 'parent' SS as everything I have tried in the past has not worked.
I asked DH to have SS put his washing in his own hamper becuase his washing stunk so much it made me dry rech. I told DH I didn't want SS's clothes in with mine.
This became World War 3 when SS put his washing in with our clothes. I put them on the bathroom floor and DH siad that I was horrible and it would make him feel rejected etc. He did not tell SS the reason for me not wanting his putrid washing in with ours becuase that would hurt him.
So solution was that I now have my own seperate hamper.
Now its a nice day and I am doing the washing....... but I stopped to think...... if I am not parenting then I shouldnt be doing SS washing should I.
If he has time to come home and sit on the play station all afternoon then he has the time do wash his clothes.
What do you think I should do?
hahah fee fees!!!! Love it!
hahah fee fees!!!!
Love it! Thanks for the laugh!!
He knows how to do washing. He's done it on the odd occasion before.
His Dad is mainly worried about his fee fees as he is a bit depressed....they are going to the doctors this arvo so hopefully he can get some happy pills... I think I might steal some!!!
Thanks for your advice!
Yeah you are right about the
Yeah you are right about the depression thing... he is quite happy when he is sitting on the play station or playing his guitar... he's only depressed when he has to go to school where no one likes him.
I've just started the disengagement thing so its very hard for me to sit back. It's exam time at the moment, SS missed alot of school when he was living with his mum (he's been back with us for a week) and he should be studying his arse off to catch up....but he comes home and plays play station and his guitar... I have to resist my urge to tell him to go and study... but you know what.......... not my kid not my problem! I have to keep repeating that mantra to myself....alot!
Since DH's washing is in with
Since DH's washing is in with SS then I guess I get away with not doing that too! Yay!! Well my washing is all done. Time to clean the rest of the house. This week I will clean and next week the boys can do it..... they can consider it bonding time!! Bhahaha!
Ok so DH has obviously text
Ok so DH has obviously text SS something about washing as he came home and got all my washing off the line.......hopefully it's dry.......... I think something has been lost in translation......... I'm not doing your washing has somehow translated to get SM's washing off the line..... weird!!!!
Tuns out DH didnt text him.
Tuns out DH didnt text him. Hmm very weird. Maybe he had a look at my phone as I left it laying around when I went to the neighbours for a cup of tea. Who knows.
A 15yo can do his own washing
A 15yo can do his own washing simply because of his age. It's inefficient but not outrageous. If Daddy wants to spare the boys feelings let Daddy wash his clothes with Daddies. By doing only your own you stand out as a prude perhaps. Tell them you've developed a germ fetish and don't want your clothes mixed with anyones which fits in with your separation of clothing quite nicely.
To answer your question about disengagement it doesn't mean you don't do your share of age appropriate chores. Ignoring his stinkey clothes problems it would be expected that he would do chores more suited to a 15yo male and you the chores suited to a XX something female.
Mow the lawn, cook dinner if you will. This is simply being a part of the family sharing the work load. But you can exclude any chore or remix the expectations and if he's going to Chef school he can do the cooking.
Disengagement is mostly staying away from discipline. You stay out of the kids life you don't pretend he doesn't exist. While distengaged I taught one step to drive and sent money to another who screwed up a college grant application. Her mother just didn't have the money and the kid would have starved or dropped out and it was only $50 a month for a semester. There's no reason to be rude or ignore them, you just don't try to keep them on a path of your choosing.