Question on child support...
Most, if not all, of you have much more experience in this realm than I do. Current situation is this:
(1) biomom (my girlfriend) and biodad split custody 50/50 (1 week with mom, next week with dad, and so on)
(2) As such, there is no support issued
(3) biomom makes more than biodad (for what that is worth)
(4) dad keeps arguing that he's going to court to get full custody of the kids (this is what the kids keep telling us as a threat)
(5) biodad and his family do nothing but talk bad about mom and me to the kids, Parental Alienation Syndrome kind of situation...pretty bad really
when kids are with biodad, most of the time his parents watch them
(7) we are pretty convinced the only reason he wants them full custody is for the money and/or because his mother is pushing the issue
(8) we are at the end of our rope with SD11's behavior, disrespect, hours-long tantrums, etc.
(9) we have actually seriously discussed letting biodad have SD11 full-time and we would continue to split custody with the boy SS13 (who is a really good kid), but he feels torn as his father makes him feel that he can't do anything with me, or even like me.
Here is the question: If dad gets full custody (or primary custody) is it a given that we will be paying support? (BTW; this is another reason for delaying any kind of marriage between biomom and me, as there is NO WAY my money goes to that jerk and kids that are not mine).
In most cases (and I know there are all sorts of factors here), what is your experience with how support is decided, especially when the kids and other parent push the issue to this point? Just looking for info here, as we are kind of in a fix as to what to do.
Thanks in advance.
Child support will only be
Child support will only be ordered if he asks for it. I think I advised you earlier to bribe the father. Since your gf is already willing to give up the girl in disgust and the boy is ready to be with his father due to his age she should make him an offer.
No need for court - she'll give him a statement stating that the kids can stay with him on her ordered weeks except for maybe the weekends or even just Sundays. Split the holidays if you wish. In return the father verbally agrees to not ask for any financial help. She can negotiate that point from zero on up to whatever she thinks is fair. He may accept the zero amount who knows? Likely he'll be shocked and accept the terms.
Perhaps you don't understand the system completely. The courts do not go around rattling the bushes for business. If the parents can agree on something the courts are perfectly happy to let them hash it out. Its only when one parent or another petitions the court for a ruling that they get involved. So unless father asks the court, in the midst of a court hearing, that she be ordered to pay - well nothing will happen.
If the agreement between the parents is not in alignment with the court order again the court could care less as long as both parties are happy. Again unless one or the other comes to the court and complains about the activity of the other well then nobody cares.
So if she is willing to sign a paper saying he can have the kids she has relinquished the right to enforce the order as written in favor of what she signed. Now as long as he doesn't ask for money she'll sign. And as long as he continues to not require child support she won't cancel her agreement.
You see if she has voluntarily given up her rights she can voluntarily take them back. She doesn't say anything about that of course, she just gives up the kids and as long as he is silent about support then she does nothing. Again they can negotiate a dollar amount if they wish. As long as he abides by the agreement so does she. If he starts yelling about money she threatens to cancel her letter giving permission (you see its not a contract only she signed it).
If they simply can't agree then one or the other can petition the court but until one or the other does so the court doesn't even know or care what's going on.
Don't worry man, I don't take
Don't worry man, I don't take offense easily. But to your point, the father WILL go for support. He doesn't want the kids for anything other than the money and to "get back at her"
That's just a tag line at the
That's just a tag line at the bottom, its called a "signature" I think and once put in place appears in every post unless ones changes it in ones profile.
Anyway if he's going to ask then its a done deal - but again it can be negotiated without going to court. If she can afford it then by all means go ahead. All the expenses of her week of custody will disappear and it might as well go to her kids.
I.e. don't think of it as "his" money. He'll be spending it fast and furious keeping two teenagers fed and clothed.
But listen, didn't I remind you before, Daddy's die or otherwise can't keep the kids. Don't marry this woman if both of those kids returning to your home will become a problem. It happens and its devistating when it does.
As for "getting back at her" well the easiest response to that is to give up the kids without a fight and pay reasonable support. Its only for a few years not decades. Once he realizes its not hurting all the fun will be taken out of it and he'll be left raising two teens and frankly the standard child support is never enough when it comes to teens. They eat like horses, ruin the house, and soon he'll have to worry about the girls womb. He who laughs last......
You couldn't be more right.
You couldn't be more right. Dickhead Dad is probably thinking he'll be able to use his ExW as a cash cow. He'll get a check, the kids will do without and ExW due to her guilt of letting the kids go, will end up buying them everything they need anyway. Don't marry her. It's easy to find out what the CS will be. Most states it's 25% for 2 kids. Remember that is 25% based on your GROSS income that gets taken out of your NET pay. Which if Wifey makes a nice salary can be a LOT of money.