something a bit different

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I am a Smom of 2 kids. My EX is getting married in about a month to a woman with 3 girls, so MY kids will have 3 stepsister at their BF's soon. One of the girls is my BS's age (13) and they do not get along! She is, quite frankly, a bully. For example... my kids have gone to the same schools their whole life and so they know everyone. This girl just started going to school with my son this year and is trying to find her nitch, I guess. She found an old picture of my son where he was missing a tooth (one that he required two oral surgeries to get in) and he was making a funny face. She texted it around school to a bunch of his friends making fun of him and he was sooo mad! Last night my son texted me saying that they were jumping on the trampoline and this girl said that he RAPES his little sister (my BD) every night. He got mad and left the trampoline. Then later he was talking to his brother (my other BS) and she interrupted and dais "no on wants to hear you talk" and he said he told her to butt out and she bucked up to him and said "what are you going to do". He said later they were watching tv and he said something about how some people can't see the color yellow on the tv (not sure what this means) and she said, "then they can't see your teeth either". He is so mad that he doesn't even want to be at his BF's house. I told him to talk to his BF about it and he said he did and nothing was said. her BM was also there when my son talked to his father. My dilemma... as the BM of my son, do I have the right to say anything to my ex about the bullying, and if so, should I? Or should I just continue to be there for my son and mind my own business in the ex's home? thanks!

You have every right to talk

You have every right to talk to his Father and ask him what he's doing about this. If he does nothing or waffles it away, then talk to both him and the BM- after all your kids will be in her care part of the time and all of you have to be on same page as much as possible. While they don't have to be best friends, her kid can't be allowed to run amok. No kid should be tortured in their own Parents home or afraid to go there. This girl sounds like a real piece of work and if your son is not of the personality to give it as good as he gets, then it's his Father's job to step in and protect him, put she-devil in her place. If he feels his Father does not stand up for him, he's going to start doing it for himself and that won't be pretty I'm sure. 13yr old girls are mean but 13yr old boys are full of testosterone & that combo can only lead to hell breaking loose. Time for all Parents involved to step in proactively.

Think about what you would do

Think about what you would do if your son came home and said these things were going on at school. This is no different. Schools have no bullying policies and you should expect even more from his father's house. Address it immediately. No kid should have to deal with this ANYWHERE.

Tell your son that next time

Tell your son that next time she bully's him to kick her ass. Remember, bullies only respond to getting their asses kicked and at that age she is probably bigger than he is so knocking her teeth out is fair game. If does not do it now he will have to deal with this crap for the rest of his childhood.

BLAP!!!! }:)

IMHO of course.

All of this advice is exactly

All of this advice is exactly what I wanted to hear. The only problem is, my son doesn't want me to talk to his father. He is afraid his father will be mad at his for coming to me. I am struggling with it because I feel my son should not have to deal with this from his soon to be Step sister, but I also want my son to trust me and continue coming to me. It hurts me to know how my son is feeling due to this bullying. Just have a tough decision to make. Oh, and Rags... I highly respect you especially after your post in response to "uh-oh, BM found out", but I just can't condone telling my son to hit a girl... lol.

I understand you don't want

I understand you don't want to violate your son's trust but you are his protector ultimately and must do what's best for him even if it's not comfortable for him all the time. You have to explain to him that you have no choice but to talk to his Father as a Parent. If his Dad gets mad, his Dad is a dweeb and in which case, I agree with Rags. If she bucks up at him again with a "what are you going to do", he should slap the crap out of her. That's not kicking her butt but it'll pause her next time she wants to push him around AND it'll escalate the situation to show dear old Dad that this is a serious situation worth addressing.

If you talk to him and he does nothing, then BS slaps the girl, it'll be Dad's fault for remaining detached from the situation vs stepping in ahead of time. Then he'll have to fix not only that but the issues with the pending StepMom. So how about you play out the situation to him to let him know what it's going to escalate to if he continues to do nothing. Hearing it laid out that your son is at the point of slapping her, may motivate him to do something in advance. Ounce of cure...

I have been exactly that...

I have been exactly that... the peacekeeper. Telling my boys to always be polite and respectful and that ultimately they will be the better person for it. But things are getting out of control. I know my son is getting fed up and he is the type to let things fester until he bursts, so it won't surprise me if he does slap her eventually. The bullying at school concerns me. My son has gone to school with these kids since Kindergarten and this brat just started this year, so I am hopeful that his friends know him well enough to be kind in return of her putting him down. She is so passive-aggressive about things! But changing schools I am afraid is not an option. There is an open transfer here but he has always gone to this school and (for lack of sounding childish) it's not fair for her to bully him out of HIS school with HIS friends! She is attending the school on the false representation that she lives in our city. I think they used my XH's address to get her in and she will not technically live there until ctober. I could easily get her out by reporting it, but that would only be a temporary fix since she will live there in about a month anyway... I think I will just talk to BF and hope that he sees things clearly and does the right thing. Wish me luck! I am waiting for the kids to come back home this evening so they are with me when I talk to him and there can be space between my son and his father in case it does make his father angry with him.

OK... just talked to him

OK... just talked to him (XH). I expressed my concern without attacking anyone and he actually HEARD me! He is not mad at my son for coming to me. He agrees we need to work together as parents to solve the problem. He says he and his fiance' have talked to her daughter about things and told her that she has crossed the line and is being very inappropriate. I don't think this is over by far, but at least we are on the same page...for now.

Good, I think you did the

Good, I think you did the right thing. She has to be pulled into line. Am intrigued that a girl of 13 is saying things to your son like he rapes his sister every night. She is going to need watching I think and you have absolutely done the right thing in regards to this. I hope you mentioned this bit of "teasing" to your husband, because if she can make up things like this she could cause your husband a whole heap of trouble also. What if she one day makes up allegations of sexual abuse against your exH.

very good point. Of course, I

very good point. Of course, I told my husband everything. I also told my ex about this. come to find out, he already knew and he says he and his future wife are handling it. time will tell if I feel it is handles appropriately... as far as my children are concerned anyway.