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poor woman

seesaw208's picture

Submitted by seesaw208 on Mon, 09/24/2012 - 7:42pm

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The other day I took care of a woman at the hospital who was very depressed after her husband of 17yrs died and the stepchildren threw her out of her own house. She is a 70yr old sweet lady, it touched my heart, she ended up admitted with depression due to the fact she had no where to go. She called her daughter in another state to come and get her. When the daughter arrived she hired a lawyer for her but what a mess. She is the kindest woman I have ever met.

After I got home I started thinking if anything ever happened to my husband my skids would do the same thing to me. So I got my own checking and saving account. I told my husband I wanted to keep my paycheck separate for now on. I felt the need to protect myself. I am 50yrs old and have 3 mean skids that hate me. I have been married for 12yrs his kids are 21,22,23.

I have left 3 times because of them, my husband likes the fact that they hate me now because I have left him in the past. They are very loyal to there father and hate the fact I hurt him. They are rude and mean, my husband tells me I am the problem not them. If I ever say anything about them he takes there side all the time, not once has he ever stood up for me.

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Mon, 09/24/2012 - 7:57pm

Why would you put up with a life like that? I am the same age as you and granted, 20 years ago I would have kept on doing what you are doing. But seriously, please don't limit your life because on a weak man who doesn't value you.

dysfunctional in va's picture

Submitted by dysfunctional in va on Mon, 09/24/2012 - 8:00pm

Totally agree with oneoffour...you deserve so much more!!

seesaw208's picture

Submitted by seesaw208 on Mon, 09/24/2012 - 10:11pm

His first wife made that statement to him "I would rather live in a cardboard box than live with you."

Pilgrim Soul's picture

Submitted by Pilgrim Soul on Mon, 09/24/2012 - 8:07pm

Have you tried couples counseling? You need to introduce some rules into the relationship: if you two are to keep going, you need to be respected and/or protected from disrespect. Your DH needs to stand up to his children and probably have a heart-to-heart with them and tell them, What is past is past, it is between me and my wife. You need to show her respect or don't bother showing up.

How were things when skids were younger? Have they always been hateful?

seesaw208's picture

Submitted by seesaw208 on Mon, 09/24/2012 - 8:53pm

The ss was mean from day one at 12yr old, the two sd were not so bad in the beginning, there mother died 6months after we were married and there father was emotionally abusive to all of us so I stayed to protect them after they were in there teens they turned on me and there father became the perfect one and I became the problem.

seesaw208's picture

Submitted by seesaw208 on Mon, 09/24/2012 - 8:56pm

I have no rights to our house because it is on his ranch that he owned before we were married, he has already told me the ranch will be going to his children.

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Submitted by 20YearsAsAStep-Mom on Mon, 09/24/2012 - 9:00pm

Well you do have some rights as his wife of 12 years. Perhaps a visit to a lawyer to find out your rights will help empower you and make you feel better. At least check your options. He is an ass and those Skids will kick you out of your home should something happen to your DH. Does he NOT CARE about that????? WTF is wrong with him?

seesaw208's picture

Submitted by seesaw208 on Mon, 09/24/2012 - 9:17pm

This is my first post to this site and you ladies are great. yes, I know they will kick me out and when I met that lady at work it scared me and woke me up, that could be me in 20yrs. I will never forget her tears. Maybe I should see a lawyer.

byebyebirdie's picture

Submitted by byebyebirdie on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 11:53am

i was thinking the same thing i would think as a wife you have rights to the house you lived in with husband even if not in your name? maybe not but i would look into the law to be sure. you have to look out for your self in this situation . good luck to you

seesaw208's picture

Submitted by seesaw208 on Mon, 09/24/2012 - 10:08pm

I don't know why,I was really happy and carefree. I was all alone but it did not bother me. Now I have been back for 5yrs and things have been so much worse with skids but some better with DH. My Dh tells SD everything that is going on in our relationship makes everything worse for me. My Dh told me to tell sd sorry for hurting him by leaving and things would get better, I did and it didn't. I really do not know what I am to be sorry about. I did everything for skids all for nothing, wasted 12 yrs of my life for nothing.

anafiodorova's picture

Submitted by anafiodorova on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 12:04am

I thought this might be helpful and give you some time to reflect:
"The most powerful thing that you can ever do, is be true to yourself-it means that you really care about yourself, enough to not let others dictate your path..It also means that you will be finding out who you really are, all the time,and being happy with it-but, it is also one the of the hardest things in life to do & sadly very few of us actually do it..My hope is that, every one of you, will reclaim your own power, and the magnificence of you, and allow this to be seen, in the world.." Love BDevine

seesaw208's picture

Submitted by seesaw208 on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 9:05am

WOW, that's beautiful, I had to read it a few times. I like the way you think and I can tell you have come along way.

seesaw208's picture

Submitted by seesaw208 on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 9:07am

Thank you I will, I have never talked with an attorney, but he has and his attorney told him I would get nothing.

goincrazy.com's picture

Submitted by goincrazy.com on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 2:43pm

You need to protect yourself- I believe everything does happen for a reason, could be why you and that lady crossed paths. You went back to him for your own reasons and thats fine thats your choice but I would never let someone treat me that way or allow his rotten children to disrespect me and he sides with them?? When is enough, enough? I know sometimes it's easier said then done but you should really follow all of the advice we are giving you and talk to a lawyer and start saving your own money. Find out what you are entitled to, be open and ask your husband about it because he could possibly leave you out of everything and give it all to his children-I'm not sure if thats possible but I for damn sure would look into everything. Good luck to you- I hope you don't take it too personal, stepkids just hate us bc we are with their dads. Not sure what city you live in but you can look it up online, alot of government centers or family resource centers offer free legal advice, they could atleast point you in the right direction

scarpetta's picture

Submitted by scarpetta on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 3:50pm

I'd like to know in what state stepchildren can throw an elderly woman out of her own house and get away with it. In California we have community property laws that protect a married woman. They shouldn't have been able to get away with that!!

seesaw208's picture

Submitted by seesaw208 on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 11:40pm

Well once the daughter got into town and got a lawyer she was able to go back to her house but the skids were allowed to remove all of there father things first before she could return. She was in the hospital for about one week. So, she would tell me everyday what was going on. So very sad, she told me she always tried to be nice to them but she knew they did not like her.