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To embarrassed to be associated with them

sarebear's picture

My skids (SD7 and SS12) are so obnoxious and rude that I try to avoid being associated with them. I wish I could wear a sign that says, "I'm only their step mother, don't look at me." I hate it when they are pushy and loud with other people and I know those other people think they are mine. Wrong! I would never allow my own children to act like that.....notice the younger two acting appropriately? Yeah, those are mine.

Yesterday at a water park my SD7 inserted herself (as she always does) into another family's activities and took over their play. The family smiled politely as she acted as though she was a part of their family but were clearly trying ot move on to their own things. My SD took the toys from the little girl who then started crying. When the grandmother went to get the toys from her, my SD threw them across the pool. So I intervened but I was so embarrassed. My DH had already asked her to move away from them. He talked to her once again about how innappropriate her behavior was and talked about how she is being too pushy. He also tries to teach her the correct way to try to make friends. She cries and whines and pouts if she's ever corrected.

We honestly try to pay attention to her but she wants us (and so does the SS although he's getting better) to cheer for her for every little move she makes. When she's with us she says she misses her mom because her mom claps and says "Yea! Awesome!" for her all the time. Overly praising, anyone?

tryingmom's picture

My skids used to act as if they needed a cheering squad to breathe in and out. Seriously, BM would applaud them breathing. SMDH It got exhausting watching them expecting us to cheer them on for EVERYTHING! DH was not going to play this game. It has gotten better over 8 years but there are moments when they want us all to watch them play video games and tell them how wonderful they are at it. I refuse to do this, ummm, its a video game, now if you could clean up after yourselves I'd cheer them on, but I am not cheering them on while they play a video game!

sarebear's picture

You are so right. Seems to me there is too much talk and negotiation going on. I wish he would be a little firmer with them. He always tries to smooth things over.

So what about the younger kids that were being good that would suffer the consequence too if we were to leave? I guess we could just have her get out for a time out or something. OMG they are so annoying....

WTHDISUF's picture

I feel your pain. I'm always assumed to be SS9 Mother as DH is white, I'm biracial and SS is dark-skinned, so clearly he's "mine" to the public eye. I cringe every time someone says 'your son'. We were at restaurant and Server looks directly at me and says "what will your son be having?" Another time this past week 'oh my, your son is big for 9 yrs old!' (as she didn't give us a kid's menu b/c she assumed he was too old for it due to his size). Ugh! I want to say "He's not mine nor his!" But I usually correct them that he's my Stepson which yields puzzled looks at DH. Lol }:)

When he runs and pushes through, between and past people as we are walking into a store, sidewalk, etc, all in their personal space, I back away from him and fuss at him when we catch up b/c we keep telling him about his rudeness. He cut off a person in a wheelchair who was going through the auto-handicapped doors!

At playgrounds, other Parents migrate over and talk as Parents normally do and in harmless discussions they always mention "your son" and it really just irks me. He brags about all of his gadgets, toys, etc so other kids tire of him quickly. He plays with their toys just long enough to determine they aren't good enough and to tell them he has better stuff. Other Parents overhear this and look at me. Ugh.

bearcub25's picture

Your DH should have took her to the car and made her sit until the ones that act like humans were done.

My skids are like that, especially SS. Even my family has commented on the fact that if SS is catching a ball, rolling on the ground, going down a slide, he will look at DSO several times to make sure he is focused on SS....SS was aged 10 and up.

sarebear's picture

Thanks all! I did talk to my DH and we agreed that there is too much talk going on. We agreed that before every event or outing, we will simply explain what is expected and come up with a consequence for the situation. I always have better luck with our little ones (and my older two that are not much in the picture at the moment) when I remembered to do that.

Our little ones (they are only 2) already correct the skids concerning table manners and listening to others requests. They make me proud but they are also acquiring a few obnoxiouis behaviors from them like yelling "ow ow ow" about something tiny or making loud repetitive noises. I know kids are and can be obnoxious but my skids seem to tip the scales at every possible situation.

sarebear's picture

Thanks all! I did talk to my DH and we agreed that there is too much talk going on. We agreed that before every event or outing, we will simply explain what is expected and come up with a consequence for the situation. I always have better luck with our little ones (and my older two that are not much in the picture at the moment) when I remembered to do that.

Our little ones (they are only 2) already correct the skids concerning table manners and listening to others requests. They make me proud but they are also acquiring a few obnoxiouis behaviors from them like yelling "ow ow ow" about something tiny or making loud repetitive noises. I know kids are and can be obnoxious but my skids seem to tip the scales at every possible situation.