What are the expectations of a 14 year old?
I'm just wondering if anyone has a link or knows what the expectation of a 14 year old boy? He can't do his 2 chores a day without being reminded at least twice to check his chore chart (the same one we've had up for a month). His missed his morning bus more times than he's made it this week. I'm just getting frustrated because when I was 13 (a year younger than what SS14 is now) I was waking up on my own, making my own lunches and riding a city bus across the city to make it to school (I went to private school so there were no school buses that could pick me up). His 12 year old brother has more responsibility in his left arm than this kid has in his entire body. Have times have changed so much that kids are growing up and taking on responsibility at a much slower pace than 15 years ago? I tried searching google for what's expected of a 14 year old but couldn't find anything. I just would like to find something so I can show DH that this isn't normal, unless it is and I need to back off. I mean, this kid needs constant reminders for everyday routines. Right now DH is holding his iphone ransom until the kid can make it to school on time everyday for a week. That was 2 weeks ago. Thanks again for all your advice 
Your SS sounds exactly like
Your SS sounds exactly like my SS14. EXACTLY. The same expectations are in place EVERY DAY. Shower. With soap. Change into clean clothes. Put on deodorant. Comb your hair. Brush your teeth. He CAN NOT DO IT without being walked through it every step of the way, every damn day. He can't remember how his chores are supposed to be done. He is finally doing his homework sometimes, but not turning it in. He doesn't do ANYTHING unless he's reminded. He has no expectations at all at BM's, I mean NONE, but still...he's with us 50% of the time. You'd think he would've caught on after three years.
My BS17, on the other hand, is completely the opposite. Different expectations.
I'm sorry I can't give you any advice on how to help your SS become more responsible. We haven't found an answer yet either.
Yes! I just don't get it!!!
Yes! I just don't get it!!! My SS14 does the same as yours and "forgets" how to do some chores! They've lived with us full time for about 4 months now. You'd think he'd catch on by now but it just seems to be getting worse (if that's even possible). He's made it on his school bus ONCE this week! If the kid was mine, he'd be going to bed a half hour earlier on days when he missed his bus, but these aren't my kids, but still somehow manage to be MY problem
You're comparing yourself
You're comparing yourself (female) at that age to him (not female). There is no comparison. Despite the fact they're physically able to climb mountains its close to impossible to mentally cajole them into the simplest of tasks or chores.
Short of beating them all you can do is continue to verbally berate them until they get so tired of hearing your voice they comply. As a step-parent however I can suggest you disengage if this is really becoming a problem for you.
Read the article I've linked below:
http://steptogether.org/help.html
Ummm my niece is 18 and she
Ummm my niece is 18 and she still forgets to do her chores that she was been doing for the past 5 years. Or just general stuff around the house that she KNOWS she should be doing. For whatever reason it just does not click with her. And she has a job and goes to community college.
My sister gets so irritated by her lack of responsibility when it comes to her own bedroom or helping out around the house.
I do think kids these days are more occupied with their electronics and are def. an age of entitled children. My niece is spoiled. I think that has some to do with how she is. But other than that she is a good kid. Smart. Works hard at her job. Sweet. Loving. But it's just something about what she needs to get done around the house that she totally fails with.
But at least she's working
But at least she's working and going to school. SS can't even manage school and at this rate I don't see him being responsible enough for a job until he's at least 18. My dad was in the navy and then was a corrections officer so I guess I wouldn't have ever dreamed of not doing my chores or missing the bus. He was very strict but it worked.
We (both me and my husband)
We (both me and my husband) made it very uncomfortable for our kids to "forget" things.
Bought them their own alarm clocks, and no longer wake them up ever - don't get up in time? Then you will be late for school (purposely, I would not drive them to school until I knew they would be late) and then you can get detentions at school. (Now that they are older? They can catch city transit, pay for it out of their own pocket, and be late for school.)
Forgot to do your chores today? Then I will "forget" to feed you.
Forgot to mention you used up the last of the milk? Then I will "forget" to buy some.
Forgot to make your lunch for school? Then you will go hungry.
Forgot to take a shower? Then I will happily take your smart phone/iPod/game system for the night.
We just turned everything that used to frustrate us back around and put it on them. Now we rarely have any of these issues, and that is with 14-year-old and 15-year-old boys. Turns out, they don't like being uncomfortable anymore than we do!
Thanks I do some of those
Thanks
I do some of those things already. They have recently started making their own lunches thanks to the advice of other posters on another topic I had up. When they forget to make it and are already in bed, I mention it to DH. If he can't be bothered to make them a lunch so they don't go hungry the next day, why should I?! I still have my moments with disengaging (especially if someone is hungry) but it is a process. So far, we have his beloved iphone to help motivate him, but DH gives in every now and then when he wants to play SS's ps4 (and I wonder why SS is so immature). I'm glad to know that you were able to change things around with your SS's 
^^ This is the tactic we are
My son is 12 and he is also
My son is 12 and he is also this way. There are just other things in their lives more important. The schools NEVER address this but during puberty, kids' minds, especially boys, are NOT the same. They all of a sudden get retarded. Seriously. My son's math scores were excellent and went to barely passing standards one year. It's why kids do such stupid things, including the things they forget. Remember also that most kids are still self-centered as well, so they don't even get why you get upset at the things they don't do. Just keep up the consequences. It's all you really can do. Find his currency and use it to make him want to comply.
Well, it's been just about 2
Well, it's been just about 2 hours since school ended and guess who's still not home from school?!? SS14. SS12 always comes in later than SS14 and SS12 has been home for an hour now. Yup! He missed his bus AGAIN and is walking home!!!
Thank you. We do have a chore
Thank you. We do have a chore chart but doing them daily as a family sounds like a great idea. That way there is none of that "so and so doesn't do as many chores as me. It's not fair." I know that he's capable of more but only does the bare minimum to what's expected. That is going to change. I appreciate everyones comments. Thank you
On a side note, it is now 3.5 hrs since school ended and no word on where SS14 is. He's never not come home after school before. DH went to the school to find him but he wasnt there. Im guessing he took off after school with friends and didnt call us because he left his cell phone ag home and doesnt know either DH's or my number off by heart. Now we wait. DH is slowly losing patience. Me, I'm pouring a glass of wine.