Stepson has a shopping addiction on our dime
I am at the end of my rope. My SS and his girlfriend live here. I never was asked how I felt about this. One day the SS just showed up and nine months later the girlfriend quit her job to go on vacation to Hawaii. She then moved in with us. No one asked us. She just started sleeping over. So I asked her what her plans were and she was vague. We really don't know what we are doing she said. This is a woman with a college degree.
So I have tried talking to my husband. Setting rules and making plans to get them out. They had an apartment in another city but she gave that up so she didn't have to work. My husband says I am "not allowed" to talk to them. I am not to ask them to contribute to cleaning or cooking or anything.
He expects me to cook and clean for everyone. So I stopped making regular dinners. I refuse to cook and clean for adults like they were children when they literally do nothing.
Now my stepson appears to have developed a shopping addiction. He gets between 1 and 8 packages in the mail everyday! Where is this money coming from? Well, he is apparently taking money out of his college account and my husband has been sneaking him money every month! We live paycheck to paycheck and he is paying his kid to be a bum.
I have had it. My husband made some completely inapproriate comments about the girlfriends breast size, he is paying his son for nothing, he won't go for counseling. I am in hell.
I want to learn about disengaging. Anyone else done that? I would appreciate any advice.
I told the son about the tits
I told the son about the tits comments. He said that he didn't want to get in the middle of his dad's and my problems! I am sure he told his girlfriend though because she told my son she finds my husband creepy. Hasn't stopped her from living here though.
Disengage after you get the
Disengage after you get the squatters out of your house. Let ykur crazy husband know he isn't allowed to tell you what you're allowed to do in your home.
^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^ It's
^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^
It's obvious that daddykins has a thing for his ne'er do well son's GF. Basically you are paying for your husband's live action "porn."
I'd ring up a few bull dog divorce attorneys.
That is exactly what I was
That is exactly what I was thinking. He allows them to live here so he has someone to leer at. I am not allowed to say anything because I might scare them away. So I am going to say what I want and I am going to contact an attorney.
Good for you!!! And tell
Good for you!!! And tell them all to leave. Evict SS, his GF and tell DH to find a motel room. Keep possession of the house.
EXACTLY - there's no
EXACTLY - there's no disengaging from marrying an controlling asshole for a spouse.
He asked me if I had noticed
He asked me if I had noticed they had gotten bigger. Disgusting.
Yes unfortunately, all too
Yes unfortunately, all too real.
Thanks everyone. Here is an
Thanks everyone. Here is an update. No, she is not pregnant. Just, in her words, drinking a lot and gained a bunch of weight. She told me that her doctor told her she was an alcoholic and she told her doctor that she is 24 and will drink as much as she wants.
Guess what? While I was typing this SHE got a package delivered.
I have started looking for a place of my own. I am tired of this dysfunction. And my husband is the worst enabler.
the young woman is becoming a
the young woman is becoming a squatter. she may have legal rights if she has lived there from more than a certain time. evict her now.
the money your husband is giving away is community property. you have a say in how he doles it out or how he spends it. sneaking money shows he knows it is now the right thing to do. dh is enabling.
you have aright about who lives in your house and a right to ask about it. you are not the cook and maid.