Cat, SD13 is like a limp sloth trying to do anything. She doesn't firmly grasp paper towels or Kleenex lol and wipe thoroughly. I was there as she started cleaning it with a wet paper towel and I told her to use Windex, or to wet a sponge with soap and warm water. DH came over to help because SD13 is short. I also said to use wax paper next time to cover her food. I have not been a drill sargeant like this in MONTHs but I want my shit clean! I have been cleaning dog pee some so that gets done right, so I was a little on edge about seeing the microwave. SD13 is turning into SD19, sneaking all kinds of food late at night. She ate an entire school bus last night after we went to bed. All kinds of trash in the can.

I had mentioned the microwave earlier when DH came home from the gym and SD13 was still asleep. His reply was "We'll have to clean that up," to which I said, "SD13 will clean it up herself since neither you nor I made the mess." I also told SD13 in the future to wipe it out immediately before the food dries overnight. Raindancer, I have also decided that the next time she leaves my things a mess, some of her stuff will suddenly go missing. Permanently.

Miss Kay, I noticed that when I was writing, it sounded like a book, lol. I have always wanted to be a writer, but have never gotten around to it. Thanks for the compliment! Maybe I can write a twisted horror novel aka Stephen King style, about evil stepmothers and what happens to bad Skids.

Annith, I am the only one checking grades online. I did it for the past two school years and tutored SD13 after school. I pulled away more from the reminders last Spring. This first term of 8th grade I saved her ass in September when she forgot to hand an assignment in. Right. The teacher gave her a do-over and she got an A in the class. But what does that teach this Skid? That she can procrastinate and do everything later, on her own schedule. So this time I am keeping quiet and not going into detail with DH. If I mention anything, he'll get on her for a do-over. I want to wait until it's too late. She just went from a 59% to a 61% in honors English. She got a 55% on an assignment and it popped her up from an F to a D. What a bunch of bull, these schools. DH knows how to look at her grades online. He just believes every word SD13 says to him about her grades.

When I was laying into her, I told her to "Buck up because Christmas was coming, so start doing your homework already." That's when her eyes went wide and she knew I knew. }:) }:) }:)

~ Moon

Another Step, maybe he needs to be fed, lol? The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.....works every time.

Meanwhile, DH is downstairs with SD13 while he has her vacuum, being the drill sargeant. He's being funny and nice but he is cheering, "Let's GO SD13! Let's GO SD13!" Kind of humiliating her and cheering her on at the same time. Good on him to invest the time in her, because I'm not doing it anymore unless my kitchen or basement is a mess, like it was today.

Cat, as a refresher, I have an SD19 who is 45 minutes away at college, and SD13. Their mother died two years ago and they came to live FT with DH and I. SDog the Peeing Wonder was also part of this glorious deal. BM died when the SDs were 17-1/2 and 11-1/2.

Their therapist says they are "fine." Bullshit.

Almost forgot to add earlier that when DH was being sweet on me after the events of the morning, I worked into the topic of me leaving. I have NEVER said these thoughts out loud. I think DH started it by saying, "If you keep on being a grump, then your rental is still there," and he was clearly joking (this is my first home that I bought at age 24 and still own 21 years later). But I calmly ran with it, just to see. He said I would never leave. I replied that if our tenant didn't renew then I could move back there........DH's face changed a little.....I continued, "Maybe for 90 days or so, I could stay there and then we could rent it in the spring." He was surprised by that and said if I left I would never come back, kinda macho but still baffled that I suggested it. I replied, "You're right because this place would go to shit here and I wouldn't want to come back."

Got him on his toes some when I said, "Hmmmm 10-miles more on the commute or SD13 FT and SD19 during the summer?"

~ Moon

SD13 acts like a 100lb baby because DH always talks babytalk with her and hugs her. He acts goofy too, which is nice, but he's too much of a friend when he needs to be a father. More later, no privacy now.

So last night we had a party to go to in the neighborhood, a mom who used to have SD19 babysit for her and who was good friends with BM when she was alive. This mom and her family are good people so I told DH, yes, I would go. It's 10 minutes before we have to leave and DH have been in our room for 2 hours napping, getting ready to go. He goes downstairs to the kitchen to feed the dogs. I follow a few minutes later and he is sitting on the couch. SD13 doesn't have her Epipen and I'm not reminding her. I look across the kitchen and see a pile of dishes in the sink, which DH missed, because he didn't LOOK. There is cheese sauce inside the colander used to drain the noodles. SD13, on cue, comes downstairs and enters the kitchen> I yell pretty loudly, because of the wonderful way my day had started earlier, and ask, "WTF is THAT in MY sink?" I couldn't believe there is actually CHEESE in the colander!

DH jumps up from the couch and looks across the kitchen at the sink, and asks SD13, "Why didn't you clean up?" OMG the giggling and nervous smile spreads across her face, annoying the shit out of me. "I don't know, huh huh huh, I don't know......" I get the wine out of the fridge to take to the neighbors and DH tells SD13, "Clean that up, right now!" I intervene and say, "Oh no it's already stuck on there, you will have dishes to do when we get home. We're not going to be late because of you!" THEN.... I actually walk over to the sink and SD13 scurries out of my way like a roach on a college dorm room wall. LOL I look into the sink.......dear God this Skid IS developmentally delayed!

Not only is there cheese sauce IN the colander, but there is about 2/3's of the macaroni left in the colander, all stuck and dried up in the bottom. Enough to be saved for another meal the next day. Wasteful! I scrape all of the shells into the disposal and run it, because it's all been sitting in the sink for over an hour, and I don't want bugs or mice to come in. The food is ruined and not worth saving at this point. SD13 has clearly made a mess, has been wasteful and what's even worse? Her empty bowl that she ate out of was sitting on top of the colander, which is full of macaroni and cheese, which is sitting on top of the saucepan she boiled the noodles in.

This all means she actually went BACK to the sink and piled her shit in it without even putting it in the dishwasher! So she SAW the mess she had left! She has NEVER done this! I asked her again why she was making this mess in MY house? "WHY do you keep FUCKING UP MY HOUSE?!?!?" I was furious! I have never been this rude and yelled this loudly at SD13, not since last summer when she was faking taking a shower and I disengaged. DH was right there and calmly said, "OK let's get going." As we headed out to the garage I asked her again. "WHY the FUCK do you keep messing up MY HOUSE?!!!" I was yelling at her like a crazy woman! I had the bottle of wine in my hand and I thought of what I'd like to do with it, but I never would. Mewling from SD13 like a small cat with that stupid dork grin still on her face, " I don't KNOW! I don't know WHY!" I yelled back at her, "Well figure it the FUCK OUT and stop messing up MY HOUSE! I have been patient and NICE to you for the past 7 years that I have known you! YOU haven't seen MAD! THIS IS NOTHING COMPARED to me being MAD!!!!!" DH calmly asks, "OK, can we drop this now?" I calmly reply, "Yes, but she is going to be doing dishes when we get home."

We went to the party and had a great time, met a lot of people who live on our street, but a ways up the block, so we never see them. We got home and SD13 started doing the dishes. I look over and she is fucking around at the sink, STIRRING the soapy water in the saucepan with the dish brush. STIRRING it!! WTF? She has the saucepan UP on the edge of the sink for God's sake, the moron. DH is glued to the last few minutes of the hockey game because the Caps tied it up in the third. I look at SD13 and tell her firmly , "Put the dish IN the sink and SCRUB it with the sponge! You actually have to get your hands WET!" She replies, all exasperated, "I have nowhere to puuuuut it in the siiinnnnnnk!" I told her that was her problem and to figure it out. O told DH to check her progress in ten minutes and I went upstairs.

DH came up to bed later and it was close to SD13's bedtime. I asked when she was suppossed to go to bed? "Usual time?" I ask when THAT is? I tell DH it's 10:25pm. He sends SD13 a text telling her to brush her teeth and get to bed. Otherwise, she would eat everything in the kitchen and stay up late. She is a big baby. She better not use my fucking stove without asking. F-ing moron.

~ Moon }:) }:)

I did that over the summer when I started finding random crap in the basement. All of the food containers would make their way up to her bed! She has a loft bed and would crawl up there in the dark and then find shit that I left under her pillow. I need to start doing this again. Problem is, she is never gone. She is always HERE. I would much rather sneak it into her room and have her be surprised, feeling around in the dark in a loft bed, lol!

Oh and don't forget that this big BABY is the skid who said she wants to be a boy last August.

I want to bang my head against the wall sometimes!

~ Moon

I had NEVER EVER EVER EVER........dropped the F bomb when disciplining SD13, until last night. I NEVER yell at her, but if it has concerned the house, I put her on the spot and ask her why she did what ever stupid thing she did. I make her squirm and I know a little fear goes a long way and she respects me.

So, last night was the fist time I ever cussed directly AT her, and it was the second time I yelled at her (first was last July with the fake shower crap).

I just went downstairs with DH to let the dogs out, and there is SD13 standing in the kitchen, flailing her arms and trying to be funny. She is totally opposite at school. She doesn't talk in class, she doesn't raise her hand, she is very quiet. Her science teacher put some notes online about her project, saying "It was nice to hear you talk." Well, it was a presentation, so of course she had to talk. So, SD13 was in the kitchen, wearing shorts that were way too small, no socks and a T-shirt. I looked at her and asked, "How many times have I asked you to put some clothes on in this house?" It's 35 degrees outside and we keep a cold house. SD13 just stands there, thinking nothing is serious. Not to be an ass, but just because she doesn't know what matters, I call to DH in the next room and I actually said to him, "WHAT do you want your kid wearing in this house? Be a father and make a decision for her!" He told her to go put on jeans. She protested. I offered up the fact that I knew SD13 had sweatpants. DH told her to go put those on. She hid in her room. She has the IQ of a fruit fly. Not even.

SD13 had a few very close friends at school, some that she has known for awhile, and while they still talk to her some, they don't INCLUDE her in anything. SD13 commented one night this week that she overheard her (ex) best friend talking to another girl, and inviting her to spend the night. SD13 was jealous and hurt because she would always go spend the night there. Since she declared that she wanted to be a boy (bulllllll-shiiiiiit), no one wants to be around her. This is Napoleon Syndrome at it's finest. She is trying to be all big and bad and get attention, but it isn't working.

Onefootout, I believe all of her actions are learned helplessness. DH seems to think she can take care of herself. She could do things if instructed to, on her own, she just isn't mature enough to plan ahead or to take initiative and responsibility. She doesn't think it matters.

This weekend, I made her realize: IT MATTERS.

~ Moon

Sally, that is a riot! I love that you didn't make omlettes because the pan was dirty! I had trouble in my kitchen as well this weekend with Fruit Fly brain....

DH wasn't feeling well yeterday morning and slept most of Sunday. I fear he is getting strep throat but he says he just feels "blah." So, even after all of SD13's antics this weekend, I offer to put something in the oven for her as I am preparing my own dinner. I tell her that DH won't be grilling chicken because he has no appetite, but I am cooking a chicken pot pie, so I will put one in for you. I told her they would be ready in about 45 minutes and I went back upstairs.

I come down to take dinner from the oven and I see scissors and the top of a potato chip bag on the counter, that had been trimmed off. I asked why she was using scissors since she was told NOT to after cutting her own hair? She was stupid enough to leave them, and her trash, on my counter. I asked WHY she was eating a snack when dinner was IN THE OVEN, soon to be ready?

"I only ate ONE....." she replied, in her quiet little mewly voice. I get the chips out of the pantry and the bag is half open. I said to her, "...and you didn't ask WHERE the chip-clips were because then someone would KNOW you were snacking right before dinner! And I'm not STUPID, SD13! You didn't eat just 'ONE,' so now you've LIED to me and THAT really makes me mad!"

::crickets:: A sure sign that SM is correct! }:)

I layed into her yet AGAIN, as the tides have turned in my house. I calmy but firmly lectured her on being responsible. I told her she was a 5-foot tall FIVE YEAR OLD. I asked her when she was going to start doing the right thing? While I am talking to her she gets distracted and just walks over to the back door. Not good and a big sign of disrespect. I said, "HEY! I'm talking to you! WHAT are you doing?" SD13 replies,"...duh-uh-uhhh the dog was at the door.....duh-uhhhh"

I told her that when I am speaking to her, the dogs can wait.

She. Just. Doesn't. Get. It. No respect and no clue. Big baby.

I asked DH later that night if he noticed all of SD13's little white lies, how they aren't world-ending, but she keeps on telling them. It's irritating as hell. He says he calls her out on them, too, like I do.

I checked SD13's grades last night and the infamous F in honors English is now a C at 73%, but she hasn't had the big mammer-jammer report due yet. That will come, it is weighted more heavily, and with the Fs on the other assignments, her overall grade will suffer. Sally, I am keeping quiet and I am doing pretty good. "Wheels will come off the bus sooner than you think....." like you told me!

~ Moon

ETA: Just received an email to the parents from the English teacher! The reading that was to be completed in October is the foundation for 500 points in their class, the teacher said it's a HUGE part of their grade....she can't emphasize enough....they've had class time to prepare....blah blah blah. The first two assignments, SD13 got Fs on each. The rough draft is due tomorrow and she didn't do shit all weekend. The FINAL report is due right after Thanksgiving break. Again, I know it's too late to dig out. I don't think she ever read the book.

SALLY, being quiet has its benefits! Keep me strong! Bwahahahaha! }:) }:)